Finally

[PennLady]

My new hockey story is up. I realized I didn't do it soon, I'd go a year without one.

http://www.literotica.com/s/rhythm-and-the-blue-line

And for the record, feedback is always welcome. I figured that was a given with a post on this thread, but what the heck.

 

[kitkat88]

My new hockey story is up. I realized I didn't do it soon, I'd go a year without one.

http://www.literotica.com/s/rhythm-and-the-blue-line

And for the record, feedback is always welcome. I figured that was a given with a post on this thread, but what the heck.

Congratulations! Love your work and have been awaiting another series!

 

[PennLady]

Congratulations! Love your work and have been awaiting another series!

Thanks.

 

[sethp]

Voted and Commented!

 

[PennLady]

Voted and Commented!

Thanks, seth. Much appreciated.

 

[sethp]

Thanks, seth. Much appreciated.

Of course! Even a worthless hack and smut peddler like me recognizes a great literary work when he sees it!

 

[lovecraft68]

Congrats, and I'm glad you came out with something. can't have Sydney Blake dominating the Romance category now can we?

 

[PennLady]

Congrats, and I'm glad you came out with something. can't have Sydney Blake dominating the Romance category now can we?

Yeah, with Syd dominating Romance and Mugsy dominating hockey, I had to do something.

 

[mikey2much]

cooking on low heat

You seem to be off into a slow cook rather than the sizzle of hot meat in a frying pan sort of story. I will enjoy watching how you build the characters as you go.
So far so good. I like each of them, even if they are very norman rockwellish in their vanillaism. I still like them!
Well done.

 

[PennLady]

You seem to be off into a slow cook rather than the sizzle of hot meat in a frying pan sort of story. I will enjoy watching how you build the characters as you go.

That's pretty much how I do almost every story. If you prefer something quicker, there's "In the Red Parlor," "Morning Sun," and "Nothing Gets Through" (they get to it at the end of ch 1 in that). "Island Encounter" is a slow stroker, maybe?

So far so good. I like each of them, even if they are very norman rockwellish in their vanillaism. I still like them!
Well done.

I'll take that as a compliment. Right?

Thanks.

 

[lovecraft68]

That's pretty much how I do almost every story. If you prefer something quicker, there's "In the Red Parlor," "Morning Sun," and "Nothing Gets Through" (they get to it at the end of ch 1 in that). "Island Encounter" is a slow stroker, maybe?



I'll take that as a compliment. Right?

Thanks.

I'm noticing Mikey thinks he has some kind of lock on Dark/ rough characters.

He has a lot to learn.

To me "vanilla" in romance speaks of reality, the best stories are between people you can identify with.

 

[PennLady]

I'm noticing Mikey thinks he has some kind of lock on Dark/ rough characters.

He has a lot to learn.

Yeah, well, we can't all write about crack whores.

It is interesting, though, when you try to write about people with problems like drugs or alcohol or whatever and you have no direct, or even direct second-hand experience. In the beginning of "Horses in the City," I imply that one of the sisters is on drugs. My beta reader -- who had done drugs some time ago -- told me I had it wrong and one of the things that bugged him in stories was when people wrote drug addicts but didn't do it properly. So unless I feel it's crucial, I leave that stuff alone; if/when it's important, I'll ask for help.

To me "vanilla" in romance speaks of reality, the best stories are between people you can identify with.

I think if you can't identify a little with a character(s), the story is probably less enjoyable (yes, I know, a generalization).

 

[lovecraft68]

Yeah, well, we can't all write about crack whores.

It is interesting, though, when you try to write about people with problems like drugs or alcohol or whatever and you have no direct, or even direct second-hand experience. In the beginning of "Horses in the City," I imply that one of the sisters is on drugs. My beta reader -- who had done drugs some time ago -- told me I had it wrong and one of the things that bugged him in stories was when people wrote drug addicts but didn't do it properly. So unless I feel it's crucial, I leave that stuff alone; if/when it's important, I'll ask for help.



I think if you can't identify a little with a character(s), the story is probably less enjoyable (yes, I know, a generalization).

Personally I have never done drugs, but was raised in a family riddled with addiction. In chapter 38 of SWB I featured the sister in NY and at deaths door. I described her appearance, including such wonderful little details like rashes, cold sores, scabs, emaciated and all the other fun characteristics of a true near terminal addict.

I love how in erotica crack whores are still sexy. I described her using heroin including a very small detail that Hollywood always leaves out, and got several private feedbacks saying I must have been a user to hit it all that dead on.

Sad to say "Megan's" condition was based on an aunt I lost when I was in my teens. I saw what she looked like at the end and saw her use several times. There is nothing sexy or glamorous about it.

People who try to make it that way are idiots and people who try to wrote it without a clue usually ring hollow. Of course some of that depends on the skill of the author. A talented writer such as yourself could bluff through better than the one we are questioning has.

Nothing against him, but when he had a thread that started with My neighbors a crackwhore and I talked to her!" I pretty much was caught between shaking my head and wanting to slap him.

If you're interested in the "little detail" I left out PM me and I'll tell you. I won;t put that stuff out here. Don't want to show too much knowledge someone may want to interview me next

 

[mikey2much]

Yes , I liked the story

I'll take that as a compliment. Right?

Thanks.

sorry about any confusion, I liked the story and I don't feel like I have a lock on much of nothing. I am just beginning to feel that I can string a few words together. I do not think of myself as a good writer. I am a good reader though. and I enjoyed your story.

Both you and lovecraft have been helpful to me in the past and I hope in the future.You both have my respect for what its worth.

 

[estragon]

SA Penn Lady is an ultra class act. When it comes to the Premier League of Romance, she, Serenissima Syd and LunaErotica Mystica, NT, are at the top of the chart. And LettersfromTatyana is up there too. Ilmonamour is a talented newcomer. Some good writing in Romance.

 

[PennLady]

sorry about any confusion, I liked the story and I don't feel like I have a lock on much of nothing. I am just beginning to feel that I can string a few words together. I do not think of myself as a good writer. I am a good reader though. and I enjoyed your story.

Both you and lovecraft have been helpful to me in the past and I hope in the future.You both have my respect for what its worth.

mikey, sorry, not trying to be flip. I do think most people take it as a negative when characters are described as "vanilla." Vanilla usually indicates bland and boring (Actual, real vanilla is cool, though). And Norman Rockwell brings up a whole other bunch of connotations.

I hope my characters are interesting enough to read about, and that people can identify with/relate to them.

Writing is harder than you think, even when you "write what you know." And just talking to someone involved in an aspect of life that you are not doesn't mean you know it. It can be an opening to study and find out more, but that's about it. Like I don't know much about making it in music, so my beta reader is a big help b/c he used to play in bands. But if I'd done it myself, I'm sure any musicians reading it would take me to task.

 

[Dream_Operator]

Nice story, well written, nice pace, believable characters and dialog.

 

[Dream_Operator]

......

 

[PennLady]

Nice story, well written, nice pace, believable characters and dialog.

Thanks very much; I'm glad to hear you think so. The last two, especially, are things I aim for.