Finally, the Bacon Condom Has Arrived

[fgarvb1]

I am not even going to read this because I am not sure Ii want to know why.

Finally, the Bacon Condom Has Arrived

More than most other products, condoms seem to arouse people's creative ingenuity.

There are glow-in-the-dark condoms, Scotch whiskey-flavored McCondoms, dinosaur-shaped condoms and condoms printed with ruler measurements (presumably for men who feel they have something to prove).

And now, a bacon condom. It was only a matter of time.

more...

http://news.yahoo.com/finally-bacon-condom-arrived-133156663.html

 

[phrodeau]

They should submit it to Bill Gates.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/25/health/bill-gates-condom-challenge

 

[CandiCame]

I always thought that condoms should have temporary tattoos on the inside. So that when you get finished fucking you have like, a dinosaur or someshit on your dick.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Diglett Dig Diglett Dig!

Also bacon condoms sound AWESOME.

 

[CandiCame]

Diglett Dig Diglett Dig!

Also bacon condoms sound AWESOME.

I disagree. I don't like this idea that bacon makes everything better. Bacon and cock are two great things but they aren't peanut butter and chocolate. Flavored condoms should be strawberry or someshit. Not fucking meat. Meat is too close to cock. Not cool.

 

[LadyVer]

meh..

 

[Sean Renaud]

I disagree. I don't like this idea that bacon makes everything better. Bacon and cock are two great things but they aren't peanut butter and chocolate. Flavored condoms should be strawberry or someshit. Not fucking meat. Meat is too close to cock. Not cool.

I guess since it's not going in my mouth I ought not care much what the flavor is. Though bacon ice cream was delivered from from the great and decadent ones and handed down to man. Yeah it sounded bad ot me too. I was fucking wrong.

 

[CandiCame]

I guess since it's not going in my mouth I ought not care much what the flavor is. Though bacon ice cream was delivered from from the great and decadent ones and handed down to man. Yeah it sounded bad ot me too. I was fucking wrong.

I have never had that and I'm angry at you for telling me about it. I'm an adult. My brain is fully milinated. I had to lose another fact in order to fit the goddamn idea that bacon flavored ice cream exists inside it. That could have been something important, Sean!!

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

I always thought that condoms should have temporary tattoos on the inside. So that when you get finished fucking you have like, a dinosaur or someshit on your dick.

I love this idea!

 

[Sean Renaud]

I have never had that and I'm angry at you for telling me about it. I'm an adult. My brain is fully milinated. I had to lose another fact in order to fit the goddamn idea that bacon flavored ice cream exists inside it. That could have been something important, Sean!!

Don't tell me things like that. I'll have to start rattling off My Little Pony Facts just to see how much I can cram in your head before there's only what I want in there.

Mainly my cock.

 

[phrodeau]

I am officially abandoning the search for a pun based on "porking".

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

I am yet to find.a condom that actually tastes like the flavour it claims to be.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

Whoever the invented the bacon condom never owned a dog. Can you imagine trying to put one of those on w/your woman w/a doberman in the house and the door's open? Jeez.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Whoever the invented the bacon condom never owned a dog. Can you imagine trying to put one of those on w/your woman w/a doberman in the house and the door's open? Jeez.

*laughs* or finds the used one in the bin. That could be messy.

 

[IndieSnob]

Now you can really say you're porking her.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I am yet to find.a condom that actually tastes like the flavour it claims to be.

I've yet to find any artificial flavor that tastes like what it's made from. Orange, Grape, Apple, Lemon Lime and Strawberry soda and candy taste nothing like the fruits. Coke and Pepsi don't taste like chocolate and Dr.Pepper doesn't taste like prunes. They really should just name them after colors or what not. But I'm not sure what color I would describe bacon as.

Whoever the invented the bacon condom never owned a dog. Can you imagine trying to put one of those on w/your woman w/a doberman in the house and the door's open? Jeez.

Wow. You've just made a damn good case for keeping a gun under the pillow.

 

[CandiCame]

Don't tell me things like that. I'll have to start rattling off My Little Pony Facts just to see how much I can cram in your head before there's only what I want in there.

Mainly my cock.

OMG don't be a fucking Bronie. Just. Don't.

...I totally didn't see that whited out part until I quoted it.

You'd be fun at parties.

Goddamn it, now all I can see is your cock, which, via racism, I believe to be huge.
I think I forgot how to math.

Fuck you.

 

[CandiCame]

I've yet to find any artificial flavor that tastes like what it's made from. Orange, Grape, Apple, Lemon Lime and Strawberry soda and candy taste nothing like the fruits. Coke and Pepsi don't taste like chocolate and Dr.Pepper doesn't taste like prunes. They really should just name them after colors or what not. But I'm not sure what color I would describe bacon as.



Wow. You've just made a damn good case for keeping a gun under the pillow.

But sometimes the flavor is better then the original. I hate strawberries but love strawberry flavored things.

Having said that, not a huge fan of flavored condoms at all for the reason that I don't understand why I would need a condom for a blowjob. I just... that's stupid. I don't use dental dams either. For that same reason. Sheer stupidity.

Plus, both of them have this plasticy aftertaste that is just awful.

 

[CandiCame]

Whoever the invented the bacon condom never owned a dog. Can you imagine trying to put one of those on w/your woman w/a doberman in the house and the door's open? Jeez.

I think no matter how much your dick smells like bacon if your dog doesn't know not to bite you in the dick you have failed as a puppy parent. I eat bacon from plates on my lap all the time and I will tell you from experience exactly what he would do. He would sit at the floor staring at my dick whining until he made me so uncomfortable I'd have to kick him out and start the arousal process all over again.

Though I usually kick him out anyway. He's fixed and I don't want him to get jealous.

 

[Sean Renaud]

OMG don't be a fucking Bronie. Just. Don't.

...I totally didn't see that whited out part until I quoted it.

Oh I'll do it. I'll do it until you're 20% cooler as for the whited out part, I'm a fucking ninja like that. You didn't see me coming cus it was it's dark outside.

And I'm naked.

But sometimes the flavor is better then the original. I hate strawberries but love strawberry flavored things.

Having said that, not a huge fan of flavored condoms at all for the reason that I don't understand why I would need a condom for a blowjob. I just... that's stupid. I don't use dental dams either. For that same reason. Sheer stupidity.

Plus, both of them have this plasticy aftertaste that is just awful.

There are definitely flavors that come out better, I'm just saying they never come out near the same. I love grapes and hate grape soda. I wish it was called Purple. I can be finicky though.

Okay, now you're filling my head with thoughts I'd rather not have. Fuck you very much.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

I think no matter how much your dick smells like bacon if your dog doesn't know not to bite you in the dick you have failed as a puppy parent. I eat bacon from plates on my lap all the time and I will tell you from experience exactly what he would do. He would sit at the floor staring at my dick whining until he made me so uncomfortable I'd have to kick him out and start the arousal process all over again.

Though I usually kick him out anyway. He's fixed and I don't want him to get jealous.

You're braver than I am.

 

[Sean Renaud]

You're braver than I am.

He's braver than you know. Braver than me by a long fucking shot.

I'm not a dog person and wouldn't trust my dog, and I fucking hate my cat. Okay I love her but she likes to . . .pounce moving objects. You should see me searching the room making 150% sure she's outside, lock the door, double check under the bed, under the pillows, in the window sill. Cus if you don't BAM kitty claws and teeth.

 

[CandiCame]

Oh I'll do it. I'll do it until you're 20% cooler as for the whited out part, I'm a fucking ninja like that. You didn't see me coming cus it was it's dark outside.

And I'm naked.



There are definitely flavors that come out better, I'm just saying they never come out near the same. I love grapes and hate grape soda. I wish it was called Purple. I can be finicky though.

Okay, now you're filling my head with thoughts I'd rather not have. Fuck you very much.

The aftertaste is bad.
BAD.
Plus, bacon is redundant because it tastes like meat. Cock already tastes like meat. Just lose the fucking condom.

I like grapes and grape soda. In fact, I like all redneck soda except for peach. Fuck every peach flavored thing in existence ever-

Wait, did I hear naked ninja?

 

[CandiCame]

He's braver than you know. Braver than me by a long fucking shot.

I'm not a dog person and wouldn't trust my dog, and I fucking hate my cat. Okay I love her but she likes to . . .pounce moving objects. You should see me searching the room making 150% sure she's outside, lock the door, double check under the bed, under the pillows, in the window sill. Cus if you don't BAM kitty claws and teeth.

I trust all of the dogs way more then I would ever trust a cat. Cat's not gonna steal my food but he will SCRATCH THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND DEMAND THAT I GIVE IT TO HIM AS A SACRIFICE TO HIS AWESOMENESS. One, in particular, will just scratch the living shit out of you for absolutely no reason. He'll be cuddling with you, snuggling up against your face like cats do, then he's like, "OMG, you're so sweet! I love you so much- YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'M GONNA BITE YOU RIGHT IN THE EYEBROW FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR! Love you!"

Cats are drag queens.
At least, all my cats have been drag queens.

All Rum Tum Tugger and shit. Fucking David Bowie of CATS.

 

[KingOrfeo]

What's the point of flavored condoms anyway? IME, jerking off is better than getting a blowjob with a condom on; pregnancy ain't an issue; and who gets an STD from a blowjob?