Filling The Void (Closed)

[momoftwins13]

"I guess I stay because I'm expected to. My family thinks we are the perfect couple, as do his. "And financially I'm stable. That's really it. I have nothing else going for me here." She sighed softly.

"Your part..." She hesitated to think.

"Your part in this is... The guy I met randomly. The guy I wish my husband could be. The guy I want to talk to and see every day but can't because I'm stuck in this situation. The guy who probably thinks I'm insane for staying. That's the guy you are...

"Christian I don't know what you are. I can't expect you to want to be with me when I'm with another man. It wouldn't be at all fair. And yet the thought of you with another woman makes my stomach churn. It a weird situation."

 

[salty_sailor]

Christian could feel his stomach twisting into a knot, as he felt himself being backed into a corner. It was such a weird situation. "You can see the awkward place thy you've stuck me with, can't you? You want me to be with you, and yet you're with another man? How would that work out? What's that look like long term. I mean, you're all kinda of fun, and I love spending time with you, but you're going to have to do more than just screw around with me to make me want to stick by you.

He realized the hurtful words that were coming from him, and yet he was unable to stop. "I realize the delicate situation you're in, but I don't know that I have it in me to be your lifeline."

He snuggled a little closer to her, trying to make space in his monologue for her vulnerability but he was having a hard time of it. "Maybe we can think about it some more, and enjoy eachothers company for a while?"

 

[momoftwins13]

Christian's words made Amber feel like shit. It was true. She wasn't being fair to him by wanting him for herself yet not being able to leave her husband. He suggested they relax for a while and think about it and she nodded, snuggling close to him on the couch and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Want to put in a movie?" She asked. "Or just hang out and talk and get to know each other better?"

She placed her hand on his thigh softly and rubbed up and down in a caressing manner. It felt good just to be in his presence and touching him- even innocently like this.

His words kept echoing in her mind.

"I don't know that I have it in me to be your lifeline."

Was that what she was using him for? Yeah probably. She had felt like she was sinking recently and he made her feel better. But he was more than that. She cared about him... Or she would never have slept with him.

 

[salty_sailor]

"I guess I'm just still waiting to hear why I ought to stick around for this. It's just so dangerous, and I don't feel like you have the same level of risk or commitment. If you just want to fuck around, that's ok with me...but I guess just stop trying to pull emotions into it too. Lets keep talking about it though ok?" He snaked an arm around her shoulders, giving a squeeze as she suggested what they might do. Instead of a movie, he suggested instead they just put on some music and keep talking some more. "I'm happy to sleep on what we've already said, but lets just get to know eachother better, no?" And saying that, he thought it could be a long night so they had better think about some food too. Christian didn't mint ordering something in, and too he was amiable to putting something real quick together in their gleaming kitchen.

 

[momoftwins13]

Amber frowned. He was right. They still needed to talk.

"I'm risking a lot by having you here" she pointed out. "I'm risking my home. Everything I own is owned by my husband no have no college skills, no degree, and no job. I would be out on the street if he found out. But I like you a lot".

She shrugged.

"As for emotions. I've never done this. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. If oh want no emotions then probably we should go to the bedroom, do our thing an you can leave... That's all I can say. I don't know what else to do right now. It's an amazingly hard situation".

She frowned and leaned against him no wanting him to leave but knowing he might anyway.

 

[salty_sailor]

"Ok, so perhaps I spoke a little hastily just now. But I still want to get to know you, and perhaps I wasn't taking into consideration all the things you stand to lose." His voice trailed off momentarily.

"One thing you can be sure of is that I'm staying here with you, tonight and even longer if that's what you'd like."
He leaned in, planting a kiss on her face and resting a hand on the flat of her stomach. "I've been enjoying our time so far, and I don't really see any reason why I should stop."

 

[momoftwins13]

She sighed and relaxed. Maybe her guard was up a little too high... She had to give him a break. This was a new situation for them both apparently. Web he kissed her she responded immediately and kissed him back, addicted to the taste, smell, feel, and sight of him. Even the sound of his voice.

"I know you're a high school teacher" Amber began. "But what do you teach? What made you become a teacher? I always loved kids- younger ones especially -but like I said, I'm not to work so I could never get a job as a teacher. Maybe someday ill have my own. Do you want kids?"

That last question had a lot of thought behind it. The thought of trying to get pregnant with his baby had flitted through her mind again. It was a persistent mosquito that would leave, always buzzing around her head...

What if....?

 

[salty_sailor]

He dragged the kiss out a little, his lips clinging to hers. Christian loved the feel of her, loves having her body pressed against his and it was with a vague sense of nostalgia that he recalled their night together: her taste, scent, feel, how her body responded to his when she took him inside of her.

He practically had to shake the thought when he realized she was speaking again. "Kids...I guess I hadn't really thought about it too much. I mean, I like kids, I think their fun...perhaps that's why I teach. History, by the way. But I feel a little like I have a whole bunch of kids, ones I'm trying to point in the right direction, inform and encourage. But yeah, kids of my own...it just hasn't been on the radar. I suppose if I found the right woman. I mean, I know I'd make one hell of a dad. But I just haven't come across her yet."

 

[momoftwins13]

"I always wanted kids but my husband apparently doesn't" she admitted. She kept to fact that she had been trying to herself, not prepared to admit that yet. Her hand trailed up and down his chest lightly, loving the intimate feel of his muscles there.

"That's just another issue of our marriage. There a lot of those if you haven't guessed.." She sighed.

"So what do we want to do for dinner?" SHe asked, changing the subject to something more neutral and less dangerous for her to speak of.

 

[salty_sailor]

Keeping an arm around her, but tilting his head back and away, Christian looked her up and down speculatively. "I bet you'd be pretty adorable if you got pregnant. With a baby in your arms too for that matter." His eyes darted to the area below her breasts, imagining her rounding out and filling up into a mother. He bit his lip.

"Yeah dinner, like I said, I don't much care. You have anything in mind? Any favorite takeout? Some delicacy in the kitchen that's just begging to be finished off?"