Female Masturbation

[Mrhappy]

OK everybody, I have a couple of questions about female masturbation. I recently viewed a tape of solo masturbating females and I noticed something well...odd(?).
Most of the women stayed outside their vaginas either with fingers or toys. I guess it's a male thing but, I always assumed that some penetration is satisfying at some point.
When fingers only were used, the women rarely used more than one and then for just a few strokes.
Anyway...the question is (multiple):
What ways do you masturbate?
Do you use fingers, toys or both?
What stimulates you to do it in the first place? Memories, fantasy or no one to satisfy you?
Do you like to masturbate for your partner?
Anything not covered above which you'd like to share?

I've heard that most men's #1 fantasy is to see two women together and then be with them. I, on the other hand, prefer to watch a woman masturbate to climax.

 

[Butterfly]

okay boy oh boy I can't believe I'm gonna post on this, but here goes. I'm sure everyone has there own technique, similarities I'm sure but not the same. Me personally I masturbate for all the reasons you gave. I want to, haven't been satisfied in a very long time or want to think of one of my fantasies.

I usually play with my nipples and rub my pussy lips. I like to insert fingers to get me wet one or two, if I'm real hot it won't take me long if I want to lay back and really enjoy I can prolong it by teasing my clit and rubing myself on the outside lips and slowly entering fingers, and then I stroke my clit slowly then faster. This way I can usually have one or more orgasams. Me personally I like to have my fingers in me deep so I can feel my walls contracting around them. But again that is me. Lately I masturbate a lot, what can I say I'm hot most of the time. Okay now I'm beat red and blushing and wondering why the heck I just told everybody that. Now I'm hot and I've got to well you know.....

oh forgot to add I use toys also when there isn't anyone around (beside my husband that is) And no I haven't for my husband I've always wanted to but he doesn't seem interested in that part. Gee, MrHappy that is great that you enjoy that, that is great.

[This message has been edited by butterfly (edited 12-19-1999).]

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Hmmmmmmm.....this should be very interesting!

<<Do you like to masturbate for your partner?
Anything not covered above which you'd like to share?>

I will find this interesting to hear the ladies' responses as I am always looking for ways to better please my lover. I must confess I've never really thought about asking my lover if masturbating herself in front of me would give her pleasure. Hmmmmm......guess I should ask that.

I ususlly am so focused on working her over with my own tongue and lips, I never thought she might like to pleasure herself while her lover watches on. Wonder if the reverse would be true as well? That is, watching her fella masturbate for her or maybe do it together? Sorry for getting off topic just a tad.

Very interesting question, mrhappy!

PHANTOM

 

[Lily]

.....

 

[Michael]

I agree, Phantom; mrhappy, thanks for, broaching the subject, and Butterfly, thanks for a great response. I also will be interested to hear some other opinions from women. Phantom's comment reminds me that a former girlfriend just went nuts watching me masturbate for her but got offended when I asked her if she even did it at all!

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks --blushing-- Micahel and go figure why she would be offended. Myself I think it would be a great turn on to see my man please himself and while he's catching his breath I can have him enjoy watching me please myself. Oh well another fantasy for me to try.

 

[Mrhappy]

Great replies from everyone!
Butterfly...you go girl! I suspect that your husband would probably enjoy watching you. Like Phantom mentioned, it can be a great way to find out more about your lover.

Lily...thanks for the 'up on your knees in front of a mirror' vision I now have.

Thanks everyone, looking forward to more.

 

[Michael]

Thanks, Butterfly; well, the poor woman just felt awkward, I suppose. Similarly, she was quite uninhibited in using her breasts to give me pleasure and loved to have me cum all over them but would have been offended had I ever asked her her bra size, and in fact I never learned it.

My second wife was quite uninhibited, but I guess it just never occurred to me to ask her to masturbate for me, and I'm not sure whether she even did so at all. But I can hardly think of anything more exciting, for me, than to watch a woman become lost in the pleasure of touching herself. Thanks again for a great post.

 

[Mrhappy]

Well Michael...'different strokes', as they say.
That's another interesting point about men masturbating for women. I've never, ever had a woman ask me to masturbate for her. Wonder what's up with that? Except for Lily who enjoys doing it with and for her lover.

But I guess one has to ask before they receive.
Thanks for the response!!!
Michael...watch your e-mail.

Later, be nice to one another!

 

[Guest]

My wife and I both have masturbated in front of each other, I had to ask her to, and she was shy at first. One day in fun, she said I might come into the bathroom someday, and find her getting off. I couldn't wait! Sure enough, I opened her bathroom door one day, and she was on the edge of the tub, thighs spread, rubbing her clit in little circles, eyes closed. She climaxed before she knew I was there - I absolutely loved it! When she recovered, she said I'd think everytime she closed the door, she was masturbatiing. I held her close, her still nude, and explained that to men, it was sexy as hell. Every man's voyeuristic dream - he's there - she doesn't know it!! I told her most men loved to watch a woman getting herself off. Maybe not all - the ones who have some doubts about their manhood may not like it.

 

[Guest]

Great question. I learnt heaps from a book called "The Hite Report" which carries a mass of information on methods, reasons, attitudes etc. etc. for all manner of female sexual and sensual activities.

 

[Lasher]

Ahhhhhhh......My favorite subject in the whole wide world!! LOL.....And the funny thing is I'm so self conscious about my own masturbation that I have difficulty even talking about it with my wife. I guess that comes from my repressive teenage years in a too small house with very little privacy trying to sneak around for those wonderful minutes alone...But that's another story.

Fortunately for me, my wife enjoys masturbating and enjoys talking with me about it. Three years ago I bought her first vibrator as a xmas present. Two years ago I bought her a massaging shower head (It took her a few days to figure that one out, but then she thanked me!!). Just before last xmas she quit smoking and has gained about 30lbs since then, and at 5'11 going from 130lbs to 160 lbs she looks wonderful. It seems she gained most of it in her breasts, going from a 34b to a 36d, which has made me and her awfully damn happy. She claims that as they've grown they've become more sensitive, and often our love making begins with me licking and sucking her nipples while she uses her fingers on her herself. Anyways (didn't mean to get caught up in all that), in all the times I've seen my wife masturbate, I've never seen her penetrate with her fingers for any reason other than to lubricate her fingers, and she claims she can't stand to have her vibrator inside her.

Unfortunately, with our work schedules we're not able to spend a lot of time together. I work evenings and she works mornings and is usually asleep by the time I get home. So we consider masturbation to be a very important part of our sex life. One thing we both admit too is that the more we are able to spend time together the more often we masturbate. I think it's just a sign of having a good self image.

 

[Matt]

Actually to have multiplt partners is just the #7 fantasy among men. Having sex with your partner's best friend is #1...

 

[SpecialK]

I heard a saying once... "There are two kinds of people in this world: those who masterbate and those who lie."

My retort for this comment is "I'm a liar."

That pretty much explains my feelings about masterbation, however I have become more liberated in recent years.

I remember masterbating at an early age but I would never even admit to it (even in 'Truth or Dare' games!)

On the topic... I have never been able to climax from penetration alone, and I can't recall if I have ever climaxed from just clit stimulation either.

I can get very turned on by reading sex stories on the computer but I don't usually masterbate until after the computer is off and I'm in the privacy of the bedroom.

As far as masterbating in front of a man, I have rubbed my clit during sex (doggie style) but I remember the first time I did it I felt very hesitant about it. I didn't want my boyfriend to get the impression that he wasn't satisfying me, etc. However he didn't seem to mind and now I'm not so paranoid about pleasuring myself when the mood strikes me.

 

[XXplorher]

Before I even read the ladies' valued posts (because this is a GREAT thread I expect to go on forever! (And if it doesn't, something is seriously wrong!)

Would certainly like to echo Mr Happy’s question #3 : What stimulates you to do it in the first place? Memories, fantasy or no one to satisfy you?

This is key. ForEVER women were not ‘allowed’ to let their sexuality blossom. Only ‘the man’ could tell you, right? Somehow, this became law ‘Man want – he get. Woman never want ‘til man want’. And that got accepted because our fathers were too lazy to free your Mom the way she deserved! So your ‘mom’ told you to be a ‘good girl’ and find a husband just like ‘Daddy’.
Well, ‘mom’ was wrong. We don’t want what she told you we want. We want women who aren’t afraid to be themselves. To GO FOR IT! Don’t be a bitch (No one wants that, ask Deborah) but stand there and tell me who you are – AND KNOW IT!

I feel a blah, blah, coming on - so, question: Sexuality, ladies, where does it come from? For YOU! Nevermind what was told to you as ‘proper’. You’re on a free forum where you can just spill every thought you ever had and not have to hide from those you ‘know’. So spill it – for the men – so we can give you what you REALLY want!…….eh?

 

[Deborah]

Just spilling it here ...

I just look at the picture of XXplorher that hangs from my ceiling and the meta-orgasms commence immediately and last for over two hours. I don't even have to touch myself.

The other picture I have of Pee Wee Herman works equally well.

 

[Mrhappy]

So what you're saying Deborah, is that you do it with your eyes closed??

Sorry Xx...just can't keep my sarcastic mouth shut!

Interesting responses...any more 'details' or 'step by step' examples from the ladies??

 

[BluRomeo]

My wife is 20 and she swears she never masturbated until we were married. You see, like all of you i think it is very sexy to see a woman bring herself off. I explained this to my wife and she still said she would never do it. One night i got her really hot, and told her i wasn't going to touch her until she brought herself off. Well, since then i have caught her masturbating with a vibrater (that i didn't know we owned). I have questioned her about it and she said she never knew it could feel so good to masturbate and she just wanted try some toys. Needless to say i didn't mind.

 

[SpecialK]

Where does a woman's sexuality come from?

I haven't a clue. I don't feel it is something that oozes out of my pores or anything.

For me to feel sexual and sensual, I have to be comfortable and relaxed and not think overly much. However I think it does start in the brain.... somewhere. But it's the kind of thing that starts in the brain but quickly expands to the spark in the eye, the sassy sashay of my hips, the crook of my little finger, the line of moisture my tongue makes as it licks my upper lip. That kind of thing.

As for a step-by-step how thing... I'll get back to you on that, mrhappy.

K

 

[Southernhelle]

"And that got accepted because our fathers were too lazy to free your Mom the way she deserved!"

Mom was freeing herself with Dad's magazines while he was away at work, methinks. Throughout time there have been repressed women and independently thinking women. The latter probably had to hide it at times, lest she be branded a witch or a whore, but it was always there. No man was needed to free her from SHIT. ahem.

Orgasms (and the activities leading up to them) feel wonderful. I think this is the point/purpose of masturbation, and there's no one thing that would be the "stimulation in the first place". Just like anyone else, as little as a glance or a good dance can be a catalyst for an explosive masturbation session.

I usually stay outside the body when I masturbate. An occasional finger inside feels good, but deeper penetration by anything bigger, to me, is usually more fun if saved for intercourse with another person.

To answer the original questions:
1)I usually just use my hand, rubbing my clit and surrounding areas. Sometimes I'll use my vibrator, but the noise is a distraction, and the orgasm is different. In desperation or in hyper-horny situations, I'll use other things, like fruit (favorite - pineapple rubbed around, dipped in, then sucked into my or my partner's mouth).
2)oops, answered that. In addition, I've tried a few of the other toys out there, like the vibrating panties (pleasant, but not enough direct stimulation for an orgasm in my opinion), anal beads (ODD, but kind of..well, I don't know. kind of a nice feeling, but it's still beads in an as..), um, what else..
3)Stimulation in the first place for me is usually a desire to orgasm. It's fun to play with yourself. Sometimes that's the only reason. I'm a big fantasy fan too, so I like to let my mind wander and come up with a nice scenario.
4)I like to masturbate for my partner, but I've found that with men they're usually a little self-conscious to return the favor. I LOVE watching a man masturbate. It's better if they don't realize you'e watching.

I don't feel like I'm getting it all out here like I'd like to, but I'm sure others will cover all ground in due time!

 

[Raven]

A little 'twist' on this one, since the topic came up...I, too, can't believe I'm going to answer this. *blushing smile*

What stimulates a woman to masturbate? For me, it can be reading erotica (this site, for example), a movie, memories, or the desire for someone specific, wishing it were him....I also haven't had a sex partner in a while, and if it weren't for masturbation, I'd go nuts.

Most recently, my online friend has has been behind a lot of my solo activities...he's very open about sex, sexuality and masturbation, and one thing leading to another, we ended up cybering one night...it was the first time I'd ever done it, and it was good. He's imaginative and eloquent, and I love it when he tells me what he'd like to do to me if he were here....and I him. I tell him what I'm doing (it's hard to type with one hand

and how badly I want to touch him, and it's such a rush knowing he's almost 2000 miles away doing the same thing. Even if he's actually not, which I have no way of knowing, his words are just...WOW!! He says he likes the thought of it being HIM making me do it, HIS words making me come....and I like that thought, too.

Anonymous chat doesn't do it for me...this is different because we do know each other and are friends, it's more personal somehow.

Fantasy is a strong motivator for me, too. Sometimes I'll just think of something I have done, or would like to do, with no one in particular in mind, and just let it play out in my mind...it can turn out any way I want, which makes it more of a turn on, the control and perfection of the 'situation'. Anyway, that's my $.02

 

[Laurel]

Anonymous chat doesn't do it for me...this is different because we do know each other
and are friends, it's more personal somehow.

Agreed, Raven... (By the way, I'm soo happy for you & your new love! You lucky girl...) For me, sex is 90% mental - I had a friend who used to say "you have to fuck my head before you can fuck my...". So, in self-love (for me, anyway) it's less technique and more visualization. Fantasizing gets me there.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Greats posts, every one and all!

Deborah...Deborah...Deborah...You are SO damn funny! (I mean it!)

BluRomero, Welcome aboard! And good for you! You sound like a great partner for your wife. We must be open to the needs of our partners. Wonderful the way you helped introduce your wife to the joys of masturbation.

SpecialK, Oh, right on! Mood is so very important to me as well. And you know who taught me that? You women did. (And I have the scars to prove it!)

It's never been better than when the mood is set right and you are with a good friend and lover with whom you are comfortable.

"Wham Bam!, Thank You Ma'am" never really did it for me even when I was a young fella. (Course, I wasn't taking all of my prescribed medication at the time but that's a story for a different time)

Anyway, I'm always a sucker (no pun intended) for the behaviour you mentioned in your post above. Woof! Woof! (oops, sorry)

southernhelle, ...<men usually a little self-conscious...>

Yeah, I know what you mean. Recently, after reading and discussing this particular thread with my gal she wanted to do it together. I said, cool, let's do it acting all brave like. Well, she had a ball (no, actually that came later...) and then it was my turn. Well, I WAS self-conscious but, what the hell, if it pleased her why not? All I can say is I STILL don't know if she likes to watch me masturbate to climax. I had just gotten started and she GRABBED me, scaring the HELL out of me and, well, suffice it to say I got the best oral sex ever from her. I'm almost afraid to masturbate to climax for her now. She might just HURT me! (But what a way to go,huh?)

I already know we'll do this again and I'm sure I will be less self conscious as we move along with this. DAMN! was she turned on!

Raven, Glad you've found a special guy to fill your heart and "get your motor running"

Happy for ya!

And you're right. If it's not with a good friend, what's the point? It's not just the sex. If it's release we want, self love is the way to go because no one can know better than we what lights our fire. It's when you are with that special friend (on line,emailing back and forth, or face to face) that makes the experience so specially intense. Go girl, Go!

Laurel, you are SO on target! (Course, I didn't need to tell ya that, did I?) Sexual fulfillment is 90% mental and 10% physical in my book. By the time I get between the sheets with my special gal, I've already made love to her mentally many times over. Physical love making is just the end result of what has gone on just before in your respective minds. It's the build up, the passion or whatever you might call it that leads up to that mind blowing climax.

Just my lunatic ravings......

Phantom

 

[Hullo_nurse]

I can't believe I am answering this one...but here goes.
I find myself masterbating for numerous reasons. One, like other have said, is when I read some HOT stories or surf some hot pics & movies here on the web. A second is when I am horny & hubbie is asleep or away. Third is when I just get that feeling of "I want to CUM!"

If I am sitting here in front of the puter it is usually done with one hand while typing and usually focused on just my clit. I'll dip a finger inside my gash to lubricate or to taste myself, but that is about it.

If I am on the couch or in the bed reading or watching a porno (lesbian porno really gets me off, especially when they are moaning a lot) I will lay on my side and use both hands, one inside and one outside. Many times when I am lying down I will either get out the ben-wa balls & insert them inside while I tease my outer lips and clit. I rock back & forth & this does a good job. Otherwise I will take out my vibrating bullet and insert it and turn it on high & really aggressively rub & pinch my clit. This creates pretty good orgasms. I also like to use 2 or 3 fingers inside while rubbing my clit. I love to feel my pussy contract over & over again on my fingers.

I think I get the most powerful orgasms, though, when I use the hand-held shower. I put it on massage, the hard stream, put one foot up on the ledge of the tub, bend at the knee & aim the stream right at my clit! God!! I have one hell of a powerful orgasm. One of those that makes you "push" to orgasm more (squirt here?). I do find that if I do this & then hubbie wants to mess around that there is no hope of me cumming again for a while. I can bring myself to multiple orgasms with the shower, but afterwards my clit is practically numb form all the pressure of the water & the force of my orgasm(s).
Anyway, does that help???

I also LOVE to watch hubbie masterbate to orgasm. I hjust can't stand the taste of licking him or his cum after he has jerked off cuz of the sweaty-salty-waliva taste. Yuck. But, watching him shoot...that is such a turn on!!

 

[Tawny T]

Someone mentioned a pulsing shower head. I tried that several times, the first time sitting on a lovers thighs while she held me. It had the long hose connected to it, so she could hold it close, pulsing right on my clit. Low pressure, adjust the pulse to suit your fancy. I went ballistic.

My favorite bath scene, is to use the warm water out of the faucet, scoot down, and let the water fall on your clit. The water comes down/out/onto, till you do too!


[This message has been edited by Tawny T (edited 12-20-1999).]