Female-Led Relationships

[lady_jennaxx]

I feel this is the best male audience to pose a question to.

Would a female led relationship appeal to you and, if so, what would it look like? I realize there are many variances to this particular theme and the 2 people involved can make it whatever they choose, but are there key components that would draw you to this particular dynamic?

My question extends beyond the sexual component, of course. Being a strong woman with a slightly "sub" man is nothing new of course...but I am not speaking of a D/s type interaction. Ordering someone around and expecting your bidding to be done without question isn't my thing. I prefer a much more cerebral, gentle dynamic where my strength isn't used to wield punishment, moreso guidance and nurturing.

Any of you out there currently enjoying such a dynamic? Hoping to or actively searching for such a thing? Would love to discuss the ins and outs and get a real life feel of how this manifests in your day-to-day lives.

As always, PM's are not only welcome, but encouraged

 

[Long2bLocked]

Yes. I’ve basically been in a FLR marriage for over twenty years with only one problem. My wife has no idea. She’s just angry and controlling. I would love to be with someone who is not so angry at the world. I saw your other posts. I would absolutely wear a chastity cage. In fact I have one. I brought up the idea to her. Did not go well. I know FLRs exists where the wife deliberately controls her husband with love/lust. Using their mutual attraction as a tool to achieve her goals. I long for a relationship like that.

 

[Gamer43018]

I am in a flr as well, but I don't know if she knows it or not. I am what you would consider "wrapped around her finger" but I don't mind. I love pleasing her in every way possible. Her ideas and plans are much better than mine but that comes from her personality type and mental approach. The only issue is that I hate how smug she is about it, how any chance to rub it in my face how "non-manly" I am she does it. I will admit I have feminine mentalities and interests, at least to the world they would be considered that, but I don't think that should mean I get constantly reminded of it. The funny thing is though that though she thinks she let's me control during sex it is actually all her as well, she decided when and how we have sex, and most of the time that means I don't even try, maybe that is why I desire to be seduced so bad.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate those of you that have shared thoughts and experiences.

This relationship dynamic appeals to me, but in a different sense. I dont want to be "in charge" for the sake of being able to throw it in someone's face or use it as some kind of leverage. Any relationship requires a healthy amount of give and take; I wouldn't expect a FLR to be any different.

Please keep sharing, this is quite helpful!

 

[Hodes101]

For me, I don't want the full D/s thing. Complete control of someone's life like it is often portrayed is a big no no. But a 'powerful' woman is a must. A woman who knows how good she looks someone who takes pride in their own appearance, makes sure she gets the best out of her man (eg suggests/buys clothes that make him look good and as a result herself looks good. A woman who is strong in the bedroom. (E.g. don't touch me there, touch me here, do this, slower/harder etc etc, or even to the point of 'tonight I'm fucking/pegging you') is a real turn on. Too many women I know have no confidence and thus don't take care of themselves and are too shy and retiring in the bedroom. Does this make sense?

 

[Stilllearning2b]

Yes. I’ve basically been in a FLR marriage for over twenty years with only one problem. My wife has no idea. She’s just angry and controlling. I would love to be with someone who is not so angry at the world. I saw your other posts. I would absolutely wear a chastity cage. In fact I have one. I brought up the idea to her. Did not go well. I know FLRs exists where the wife deliberately controls her husband with love/lust. Using their mutual attraction as a tool to achieve her goals. I long for a relationship like that.

Same boat here. I tried giving her a book on it. Fell flat.

 

[macymadison]

Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate those of you that have shared thoughts and experiences.

This relationship dynamic appeals to me, but in a different sense. I dont want to be "in charge" for the sake of being able to throw it in someone's face or use it as some kind of leverage. Any relationship requires a healthy amount of give and take; I wouldn't expect a FLR to be any different.

Please keep sharing, this is quite helpful!

I 100% agree with you. Personally as a switch, I can be D or a but this idea that those dynamics have to also exist outside of the bedroom has never worked for me. I can peg a man or tell him exactly what to do in bed but I need an equal IRL.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

I 100% agree with you. Personally as a switch, I can be D or a but this idea that those dynamics have to also exist outside of the bedroom has never worked for me. I can peg a man or tell him exactly what to do in bed but I need an equal IRL.

Thanks macy!

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Friday night bump!

 

[JamesCole]

Thank You!

Thank you for bringing up this topic.

Like several other posters I too was in a undefined FLR that unfortunately was characterized by no communication, no way of expressing emotions, and chaos which ultimately spiraled into an abusive relationship of eight years.

The relationship ended six years ago but I found myself seeking out women with bossy, controlling personalities, but I didn't understand myself well enough at the time to know why.

After much soul searching, therapy and self honesty I now understand that the bossyness, controlling, and even bitchyness was something that fulfilled an inner need of mine, and that is okay as long as it's agreed upon, defined, out in the open and with boundaries.

After many years of no contact I began a dialogue with my ex. I was brutally honest about my submissive desires and it's actually been like a new beginning.

Despite living far from each other she has engaged in some online domination of me. As I was honest about my desires for SPH, and submissive BDSM she now calls me "Little Dick" (which I love!) and sometimes she requires that I get in the pet cage nude and send her pictures.

She requires that I pay her for her pictures and I willingly do so, having found that I also enjoy being her pay slave and bitch.

My Literotica fantasy story is based partly on real events from our time together and I have shared it with her, which is a big leap for me because I was open about my bi-sexuality. That is something I didn't share during our time together but she's been very receptive.

I'd really like more from her but I have no illusions about a possible serious future together. What I've learned is that honesty and openness are key, as they are to any successful relationship.

Pm me if you'd like to know more and thanks again for the thread.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Thank you for bringing up this topic.

Like several other posters I too was in a undefined FLR that unfortunately was characterized by no communication, no way of expressing emotions, and chaos which ultimately spiraled into an abusive relationship of eight years.

The relationship ended six years ago but I found myself seeking out women with bossy, controlling personalities, but I didn't understand myself well enough at the time to know why.

After much soul searching, therapy and self honesty I now understand that the bossyness, controlling, and even bitchyness was something that fulfilled an inner need of mine, and that is okay as long as it's agreed upon, defined, out in the open and with boundaries.

After many years of no contact I began a dialogue with my ex. I was brutally honest about my submissive desires and it's actually been like a new beginning.

Despite living far from each other she has engaged in some online domination of me. As I was honest about my desires for SPH, and submissive BDSM she now calls me "Little Dick" (which I love!) and sometimes she requires that I get in the pet cage nude and send her pictures.

She requires that I pay her for her pictures and I willingly do so, having found that I also enjoy being her pay slave and bitch.

My Literotica fantasy story is based partly on real events from our time together and I have shared it with her, which is a big leap for me because I was open about my bi-sexuality. That is something I didn't share during our time together but she's been very receptive.

I'd really like more from her but I have no illusions about a possible serious future together. What I've learned is that honesty and openness are key, as they are to any successful relationship.

Pm me if you'd like to know more and thanks again for the thread.

Thank you for sharing James I appreciate honest feedback

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Same boat here. I tried giving her a book on it. Fell flat.

Anyone recommend a good book on this subject?

 

[simpledude]

My personality is such that I believe if an experienced therapist were to prescribe me something to get through life peacefully and to attain my highest potential, I believe they would tell me to find someone as described in the OP.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

My personality is such that I believe if an experienced therapist were to prescribe me something to get through life peacefully and to attain my highest potential, I believe they would tell me to find someone as described in the OP.

I'd love to think that I'm just what the doctor ordered simpledude

 

[JamesCole]

Anyone recommend a good book on this subject?

The Dominant Wife Rulebook by Mistress Jessica and the Keyholders Handbook by Georgia Green are two you might give a look. Available on Amazon.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

The Dominant Wife Rulebook by Mistress Jessica and the Keyholders Handbook by Georgia Green are two you might give a look. Available on Amazon.

Perfect! Thank you, James

 

[lady_jennaxx]

The Dominant Wife Rulebook by Mistress Jessica and the Keyholders Handbook by Georgia Green are two you might give a look. Available on Amazon.

Male chastity a prevalent theme from what I've read thus far. How popular is this with those experienced in this dynamic?

 

[Hodes101]

Male chastity a prevalent theme from what I've read thus far. How popular is this with those experienced in this dynamic?

I have never really got the excitement of it personally.... But different strokes for different fokes and all that.

 

[Orangesliice]

From what I have seen, read and done. The domme uses make chastity as a way of control and will have her sub willing to do almost anything. I had an online domme for a while and loved it she was a fan of orgasm denial and ruined ones also. My balls ached but she was in complete control of me but when she did let me release they were amazing and strong

 

[lady_jennaxx]

From what I have seen, read and done. The domme uses make chastity as a way of control and will have her sub willing to do almost anything. I had an online domme for a while and loved it she was a fan of orgasm denial and ruined ones also. My balls ached but she was in complete control of me but when she did let me release they were amazing and strong

Not all of us are Dommes, though.

 

[simpledude]

Wonder how the search is going lady_jena and wonder if you've found anyone interesting and willing to be your boy...

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Wonder how the search is going lady_jena and wonder if you've found anyone interesting and willing to be your boy.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Any real-life success stories?

 

[SissySalina]

Not sure what you are looking for, sissy is in a loving relationship with Her but there is some bdsm included, She is control so the bdsm is Her. Yes She has placed sissy in chastity and it was Her request that sissy be a sissy, sissy wanted to be a full time cd but She would only agree if sissy became a full sissy. The relationship is 24/7, She works and sissy stays at home and takes care of the chores there.
If you wish more please ask or pm.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

'Female led?' All sexual hetero relationships are 'female led' ya dumb bastard. Otherwise the dame screams 'Rape! Harvey Weinstein! Rape!' ...And they might do that anyway.

And then worse yet, now we have this underage *hole called Greta whose idea of sexual thrills is likely to be a D/s ear-bashing using 'climate change, climate change' - and if you submit to the underage slut, you're gonna get social media shamed for submitting to an underage THING.

(I didn't really mean to be rude or aggressive, it just sounded right... And so I kept it in. Smack me).

Okay, to be a touch more serious - I like people who have the genuine sensitivity and broadest sexual/sensual knowledge to be in the role of leading anything at all as far as sex goes. So what does this mean, really, 'female led?' Led, but led where?

There's this sex guru called whatsername... um, Solla Pizzuto - who will tell you that there are not too many women with a deeply and comprehensively acute awareness of their own sex capabilities - not in terms of style, substance, orgasmic potential, everything. And I would go along with her 100%. I cannot say most women I have had sexual relationships with were completely without any 'moves' but many started out as fairly limited - and being involved with me was already an indicator that a large proportion had been self-selected OUT because of the likelihood of some skills being necessary. Oh yes there were, still are, some AMAZING women... Works of art, and rare.

You can be a self-involved, ego-centric individual with an intent to 'lead' someone somewhere, but so what?

On the other hand, if you were a highly skilled, highly orgasmic, very sensitive and sensual, caring sharing person, then fuck yeah you can lead. By all means.

I know how to cry too. It's not an act in the right hands.

By contrast, whatever is a 'male led' sexual relationship??

Insert, pump pump pump fuck fuck fuck, lost it, Arsenal scores, got it, coming back, coming, cumming, over and out, snore snorrrrrrrrrr snorrrrrrrrrrr...

Yep. Life, with fuckin' humans.

Thankfully, I can still get in and out of Area 51. LOL