Feeling Slightly Stupid

[Andreina]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RANT COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please look in the pouch infront of you for your emergency instruction card. The earpluggs are located under your seat. In the event of unexpected wailing and sobbing, hankies will drop automatically from the panel above you.
Thank You Very Much.



okay... *sighs* this may take a while. I just have to get this off my heart, because of various reason (explained further on) it is impossible for me to talk with my real life friends about this.

I have fancied this guy - let's call him James - for ages. He is a friend of a good friend and hence part of the circle of friends I hang out with. We have gotten to know each other quite well over the past few months and went out together. Plainly, I had a major crush on him. My friends didn't know about that.

Today I met him for lunch and more than usual he was touching my thigh (he does that only with me though) and well, he hugged me and brushed the wet hair out of my face (I live in Scotland - perma-rain season at the moment), gave me a kiss on the cheek and said: "Sweets, if you weren't so ugly I'd really want to date you. But how about Anna (one of my best friends) - do you think she interested in me?"
Frankly, I was lost for words - and that does not happen very often to me. I know I'm not good looking but having it said straight to your face is hard. Especially if you have a major crush on this person.
He didn't even realise that I was hurt or something like that - for him it was just the realistic thing to tell me (he probably sensed that I had a crush on him). After he repeated several times what shame it was that I wasn't "pleasing for the eye", as he called it, we finally left the restaurant. I wanted to call a taxi because I live 20min walk away and it was pissing it down (yet again) and I was only wearing a light jacket. Then he said, "Oh, a little excercise... you need it" and gave me this "girl, get yourself on a scale and on a diet" look. Even worse, he said that when some of his friends joined him outside when we bumped into them. I was so ashamed. I know perfectly well I could lose some pounds, but this was just so embarassing.

I can't talk to my friends about that because they gossip - a lot. I dont mean to portray them as mean fuckers (they really arent) but I'm sort of the "one that doesnt fit a size 10" in the group so I'm always only allowed to come last (I dont mind though - got used to that). They really are nice people. I just dont want them to give them another opportunity to gossip about me. I dont want to look like a fool to be honest.

And to add to my ever so splendid day today a guy (a guy i considered a very good chatfriend of mine) told me today I look like shit and that he had imagined me more beautiful. And that although I told him the pic I sent to him was by no means a flatterig one of me.


'sighs' it is just plainly a super-crap day. humiliation on no end. if i'd be excited by humiliation i'd have had at least 20 orgasms today. how does the monty python song go: "Life's a piece of shit when you look at it...."



*poking you* are you still awake? Hurry, get back to the real world!


Halo

 

[Guest]

 

[Bindii]

You know what Littledevil? YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR HIM!!!

 

[Bindii]

And another thing, if you don't change your av I'll personally come over there and kick your ass!!! Don't put yourself down like this, I've never seen a photo of you - but know what? It doesn't matter I already know your a beautiful person and if these idiots can't see that then its their loss not yours.

 

[bored1]

I dont know you and will never know you, But from reading your posts I can tell your a good person! Some people<men> are just totally ignorant and cannot see that there is so much more to a person than physical beauty.Your OK!

 

[lilminx]

Ewww....


You know, that is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard someone who considers themselves a friend say to another friend. He is not worht your desires, feelings, time, and attention. HE is the truly ugly person for saying that. Same goes for the cybershithead you were talking to.

Just remember, LDWAH- what comes around, goes around....

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Halo,

I want to reach right through here and give you a big hug sweetie.

Your friend is terrible insensitive, rude, fuckwit. And this online person is no better!

What the hell is the matter with people these days?!?

Don’t let them get you down lovey, I know much easier said then done.

I still can’t believe someone would have the audacity to say that to another person.


Big Hugs & Smooches for you. Lets cuddle up, I'll brush your hair and will watch our gurlie movies.

Morgy

 

[Cherry]

Ohhhh!

You poor thing! You have had a bad day!
I'm sorry that you're so upset, dear.

Now, calm down a little and think about this ...

Have you ever hear the term "BBW"? It stands for "Big Beautiful Woman", something that many women of larger proportions are proud to be called.

Beauty begins in the heart, be proud of your stature and carry it well. Jutt those gorgeous breasts out and wiggle your hips. Accentuate your qualities and be happy being the woman you are.

Many men find "rubenesque" qualities preferable to the emaciated, skin and bones look. Sounds like you need a more mature audience for your beauty.

I'm sure you will receive more affirmation here in this thread, as it is a subject which has been discussed previously. Now just relax and listen up.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Rubyfruit]

Halo,

Unless social customs are quite different in Scotland than the U.S., I have to say I'm shocked at your "friend's" behavior.

What bothers me even more, however, is that he felt comfortable saying this to you in the first place and that you allowed him to continue on with it. That, to me, says an awful lot about your self-esteem sweetheart.

You should have been able to deflect his first comment with a look of death that told him he had way over-stepped his bounds and if he didn't keep his mouth shut, he'd get it slapped off.

I am so sorry you had to go through such a hurtful experience, Halo. Please learn from it and don't ever allow others to speak to you with such disrespect again, ok?

 

[carrie-on]

Halo...huggggggg! that jerk doesn't deserve you!! I don't know you very well but from what i have read on your posts,he should be glad to know you. Since he isn't,keep looking...you will find the right man someday soon.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

I know how you feel Halo. I weigh about half a ton, I'm all hair, none of the cows will even talk to me unless they've been sniffing the methane from my poop all day. The farmer looks at me like a side of beef, but only because I am a side of beef. Some days I just feel like hamburger. But then I think of the buns I'll be between and feel just a little bit better.

 

[Andreina]

feeling ashamed....

thanx guys, i didnt expect that response from you ((((hugs)))).

I just feel so ashamed at the moment, having nobody to talk to and incidently my usual chatroom is down today. (Did I mention that it is prolly my lucky day today?) I feel so ashamed of the feelings I had/have for him. I should have known that he was way out of my league. I also know that I'm an extremely insecure person when it comes to me but not even I could have imagined a response like that. At least I know that he was playing all along. Sweet. I fell for it. Friends. Whatever.

oh just fuck it all.

 

[Bindii]

Where does it say you have to be a stunning beauty to date a handsome man? Way out of your league my ass! More like you are out his league.... you are too good for him girl.

Btw, I'm tired and need to trun the puter off but I swear to god I am not going anywhere until you change your av!

 

[Summery]

Sweetie, you have a PM

 

[Jesters_girl]

I am a BBW. The beautiful part comes not so much from my physical appearance as it does from the person that I am on the inside. The person who spoke to you in such a harsh manner is most definitely not your friend. He doesn't deserve your friendship.
Hold your head up high and realize that true beauty comes from deep within and you should let yours shine brightly. Take comfort in the fact that while you will always be a wonderful beautiful person, this so-called friend will most likely always be an insensitive idiot.

*HUGGSS* from one BBW to another.

 

[Cheyenne]

I can't imagine anyone being that rude to your face! Anyone with "manners" like that you definitely do NOT want in your life. Imagine the poor woman who DOES get stuck with him! Her life will be hell.

I've had people on this board call me fat, ugly, whatever before. But no one in RL has ever said anything like that to my face. I don't know what I would have done in your shoes. I like to think I'd have done as Ruby suggested- whither him with a look of death after the first rude comment. But I don't know- something like that would take you so by surprise, the words or "look" just might not come to you at that moment.

I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Not all men in the world are assholes though. Let the ones who are go.

 

[Guest]

Re: feeling ashamed....

 

[monster666]

***** Originally posted by LittleDevilWithAHalo

how does the monty python song go: "Life's a piece of shit when you look at it...."
***************************************************

"..... Always look at the bright side of life!" - "The Life of Brian", Monty Python.

You forgot the most important part of the ditty, hun. The bright side is that inconsiderate fuckers like that eventually get pounded into mush for running their insensitive mouths off. If you don't think that's particularly bright, then just think of your karma and then think of their's. And, there is that old addage that someone out there for you.

 

[april-wine]

I CANNOT believe this guy, is this guy a bloody caveman??? Where and when did he learn how to treat a friend.....

I don't what anyone else thinks but that boy would have got a quick knee to the groin just as his friends appeared.......then a see ya later loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

 

[lilminx]

Re: feeling ashamed....

thanx guys, i didnt expect that response from you ((((hugs)))).

I just feel so ashamed at the moment, having nobody to talk to and incidently my usual chatroom is down today. (Did I mention that it is prolly my lucky day today?) I feel so ashamed of the feelings I had/have for him. I should have known that he was way out of my league. I also know that I'm an extremely insecure person when it comes to me but not even I could have imagined a response like that. At least I know that he was playing all along. Sweet. I fell for it. Friends. Whatever.

oh just fuck it all.

Ashamed? What do you have to be ashamed of? He is the one who should be ashamed of himself. And it doesn't sound like he is "out of your league". He sounds like someone who is undeserving of your feelings. If he didn't reciprocate you feelings for him, that's fine- but there is a way to say that and a way NOT to say it. He chose the wrong way.

You say you are insecure- please, please, PLEASE do not interact with either of these men again! They will do nothing to help your self-esteem. As a matter of fact, they probably both sensed your lack of esteem, and knew that they could get away with saying what they said to you. Not very healthy people to hang around with.

Although I don't know you well at all, I read your posts and think that you seem like a very nice person. Please try to find some help in becoming more secure about yourself.

 

[Wiggles]

What a He-bitch!

And what's going on with your friends? They should be there for you, and you shouldn't worry about them gossiping about you.

Time to make some more worthwhile friends, I'd say!

You're a sweet person, and you don't deserve that crap. Even if you looked like a soggy sack of potatoes you wouldn't deserve that crap.

And I agree with the others, that av is just going to make you feel worse. You're a better person then I am, I would've punched him in the lip, and if he said that in front of people, I'd.......Well, I won't go into that.

What a horrible encounter, you DO NOT have to put up with vile piles of poop.

*hugs* It will get better, it just sounds like your in a very bad situation. You should really surround yourself with people who give you unbiased love and respect. (Like us)

 

[roxie]

I really think this guy sounds like a prime reason for birth control.
I know all men are not like this, but those that are make me wonder how they treat their mothers or sisters? I remember growing up if my brother even looked at a woman like she was beneath him, my mom cracked him upside the head. (Quite fun to watch if your brother annoys you as much as mine does)

Halo,
Cheer up hon, you are so much better than that loser and I KNOW you can do so much better than him. {{{Hug}}} Next time, stand up for yourself, you deserve so much more and don't settle for less than what YOU want. Fuck everyone else!

 

[LRC]

Your friend has an ugly soul

and he should be considered your ex-friend now.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Lildevil,


That guy who you had a major crush on and you thought he was your friend .... is not your friend.

A friend would never say such mean spirited words about someone they cared about & considered thier friend.

Don't let his words break you in any way, do not give him that advantage ... don't let him get to you. You know that you are a beautiful person ... inside & out.

Girl , you are the "FEMME FATALE ...