feeling discouraged

[DarlingNikki]

I want to be a "real" writer. Specifically, a travel writer. I'm posting stories here because I know I need practice writing in general. I also think that if I can describe the same old sex and make it sound new and exciting, I can do the same with the same old beach or an outdoor market. Which I know I haven't done yet.

I always thought I was a decent writer. I got really good comments on my school essays and travelogue e-mails. Which doesn't mean that much but it's something, isn't it? Anyway I am working on a couple of things right now and the more I write the more I realize how much I can't do. It's really frustrating. I'm afraid that once I start my writing class I'm going to feel even worse.

Anyone else feel this way? If you do, how do you keep from getting so discouraged you give up? If I feel like giving up, does that mean I don't have it in me to be a writer?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Like Dumbledore says: It's not our abilities, but our choices in life, who make us who we are.

If you give up, it doesn't mean that you don't have it in you to be a writer, it means that you choose not to find out if you could be a great writer.

They say that you have to write off a lot of slag before you get to the good fiction. Not everyone hits jackpot with their first novel ever.

Come on.

Give it another go.

 

[DarlingNikki]

Thanks! I'm just becoming really afraid that the more I learn, the more I will have to admit to myself that I'm not that good. Sigh.

I'm not giving up yet though.

 

[The Story Teller]

I read somewhere (I think it was in Stephen King's book On Writing) that he believed anyone with enough practice could be a writer. So in essence everything that you write no matter what it is, is giving you practice and experience. The more you do the more you learn and the better you get. Even if you get into writing class and discover that your knowledge couldn't fill a bucket, you are still going to learn from that experience and eventually that bucket will be overflowing. Don't stop writing despite what you think of your abilities because sometimes how we perceive our writing and how others perceive our writing are two different things.

Hope that helps

 

[jfinn]

"The first draft of anything is shit." Ernest Hemingway

He could have continued that by saying so is the second and the third and on and on until you get it right or just can't stand looking at it anymore. There are so many stories out there about this. I think my favorite is M Night Shamalan's story about writing the screenplay for Sixth Sense. He wrote ten drafts of that movie before he figured out the psychiatrist was dead. Amazing to think that now but he swears it's true.

Nikki, I've been where you are. I'll be there again. It's part of the process. Writing is a craft, you are building something piece by piece, fashioning it out of the materials of pen and paper, heart and mind. It's an amazing process and like any craft, there are times when you'll feel that what you are constructing will end up being worthless. And sometimes you may be right. But then there are those times when it all comes together and you somehow manage to say exactly what you mean, exactly what some one else wants to read--and you know, that is the best feeling in the world.

Svenska said it so well. If you give it up, it doesn't mean you've failed as a writer, it means you've denied yourself the knowledge of just what kind of writer you can become. Give yourself a break and keep trying.

Jayne

 

[pop_54]

hi kid

Don't give up, if you plan to go to a writing class that can only assist you to improve and iron out any rough edges, you already have the will and ability, your stories so far prove this.

Just having the ability to sit and put together a story for posting anywhere proves the will to do it is there, I feel you may be a little too self critical, others would probably see more clearly your abilities. Nothing wrong with being self critical as long as you don't let it become self destructive.

I'm probably the least qualified here to comment on this, I'm definitely a part timer and that's all I ever intend to be, but that is my feeling on your problem, it may well be imaginary.

pops...........

 

[gauchecritic]

Nikki, realising what you can't do is a hell of a lot better place to be than imagining there isn't anything left to learn.

Look at it this way; if all the great writers knew everything about writing you wouldn't be able to tell Dickens from Hemingway.

Gauche

 

[Pookie]

Don't give up. It will take time to develop your skill, and it probably won't happen overnight. But you have a talent that would be a terrible shame to give up on without knowing your full potential.

There are plenty of examples of late bloomers as well. Even in the sports world, some athletes struggle for years in the minor leagues before they finally breakthrough in their chosen sport.

Relax, work at it, and have fun. No matter what happens at the end of the ride, you will be a better person for the effort.


Pookie

 

[pop_54]

Look at it this way; if all the great writers knew everything about writing you wouldn't be able to tell Dickens from Hemingway.

Gauche

I just wish Mr/Mrs/Ms anon who always sends out the "go back to school idiot" feedback realised this point.

 

[MathGirl]

Look at it this way; if all the great writers knew everything about writing you wouldn't be able to tell Dickens from Hemingway.

Dear Gauchie,
Personally, I've never been able to tell them apart. They both had beards and drank a lot.
MG

 

[wildsweetone]

I want to be a "real" writer. Specifically, a travel writer. I'm posting stories here because I know I need practice writing in general. I also think that if I can describe the same old sex and make it sound new and exciting, I can do the same with the same old beach or an outdoor market. Which I know I haven't done yet.

I always thought I was a decent writer. I got really good comments on my school essays and travelogue e-mails. Which doesn't mean that much but it's something, isn't it? Anyway I am working on a couple of things right now and the more I write the more I realize how much I can't do. It's really frustrating. I'm afraid that once I start my writing class I'm going to feel even worse.

Anyone else feel this way? If you do, how do you keep from getting so discouraged you give up? If I feel like giving up, does that mean I don't have it in me to be a writer?

some thoughts from me...

Try looking at one specific area that you are saying you 'can't do'. What exactly is it that you're not able to do? Is it grammar? Is it dialogue? Is it plotting? Is it the actual sex acts? Pinpoint the problem then set steps in place to work out how to learn about getting it done and do it.

Perhaps writing erotica simply isn't in your 'blood' so to speak. If you concentrated on your travel writing you may discover that the words fall into place more easily. If your heart isn't in your writing, it shows in your stories. (I admit I haven't read one of yours yet, so I can't comment specifically - it was just a thought).

Your initial posting seems to come across as you're not feeling great about what you are writing. In which case, write about something you love for a change. Not everyone loves sex eh. Good grief, did I just say that?

One last thought, why don't you choose a location you'd like to write about in the travel area and combine it with a story suitable for Litland...? That may help lift your spirits. Good luck

 

[Guest]

Thanks! I'm just becoming really afraid that the more I learn, the more I will have to admit to myself that I'm not that good. Sigh.

I'm not giving up yet though.

Don't give up!

It is SUPPOSED to be that the more you learn the more you realize you don't know. You've come so far already to be able to understand that. So many wanna-bes will never get it and thus their writing will never improve.

You are down on yourself - I hope it isn't because you got hideous feedback from some asshole!

You have three stories on this site and all are scoring well. But all of your submissions have only been since January of this year!!! You need to give this some more time - practice - refine - experiment - take chances.

And be patient with yourself!

 

[MathGirl]

Anyone else feel this way? If you do, how do you keep from getting so discouraged you give up? If I feel like giving up, does that mean I don't have it in me to be a writer?

DN,
I have no aspirations to be a writer, but I can tell you from my own experience that it gets much better over time.

I've been posting things at this site for just a few months, but I've seen a major difference in how I write. I look at some of the stuff I first posted, and it's embarrassing. I'd like to redo everything I've done.

I'm certainly no expert, but just doing it is a great way to improve.

MG

 

[karmadog]

Nikki, I have a friend who wants to be a travel writer. She's been everywhere and done everything. She used to get good grades in her writing classes. In college, her profs told her that she wrote well, and she does write well.

But do you know what she does about fulfilling her dream?

Jack shit.

You are already ahead of the game because you are trying to improve, and you're actually doing something to fulfill your dream.

If you haven't already done so, I think you should read Paul Theroux and Peter Mayle. They seem to find the essence of a place better than anyone I've ever read. But then, I've never been to the places they write about.

If you haven't already, look into getting a start by submitting to one of the five billion on line travel sites. You might not make much money from them, but it's a clip.

Good luck, Nikki.

Don't quit.

 

[TheEarl]

DN: Nobody's perfect. Life is a long road down which we travel and change. The smart ones change and improve, the stupid ones don't. You've proven yourself to be a writer of infinite character, just by admitting that you can improve and that you want to improve.

You won't be perfect first time. Hell, you probably won't even be perfect 15th time. But you will learn from every mistake and every critique and you'll get better. Experientia docet stultos. Experience teaches fools.

You can learn from everything. Keep that in mind and you'll be a great author. You're certainly not lacking in talent.

The Earl

 

[DarlingNikki]

Wow! You guys are so great! What a really nice bunch of responses! I will keep them with my stories so I can re-read them if I get discouraged again.

I haven't gotten any bad feedback. I've just been working on this particular story and then reading The Travel Writer's Handbook made me realize that the travel story I'm working on is just not that good. While I'm glad to have found that out before I showed it to anyone and while I do realize I can still improve it, it made me worry that my instincts are off. Actually I guess I knew it wasn't that good, it was just confirmed by the book. I didn't know how to fix it then and still don't. But I plan to try... I guess I will just have a head start on that writing class.

The other thing is that I'm kind of busy these days, but I will be graduating in May so I should have a lot more guilt-free free time to spend really working on my writing.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up yet. Thank you so much for all your effort and concern

Nikki

 

[Just_John1]

It's all relative

DN,

The saying goes that in Undergrad classes you are taught to know and learn stuff. In Grad School you are taught to understand how much you don't know, and in your PHD classes you are taught that no one else knows anything either so feel free to wax eloquent. Class will feel competitive when you begin but when you learn only to compete against your last work is when you will begin to get comfortable with your abilities.

Don't give up. I've read some of your work and IMHO you show real promise. Writing is a progressive art no different than any of the other art forms. I never met a natural guitar player. All of them had to work at it to get better and every artist I've ever met in any discipline has suffered with feelings of inadequacy. Keep woring at it, keep refining your art, Keep practicing and soon you will have the justification to be as eccentric as you want to be. I wish you luck and look forward to reading the first erotic travel guide ever written... hmmmm perhaps a niche?

JJ1

 

[ohblueyedlady]

DarlingNikki,

Everyone has given you great advice. I've read every post and it's helped me so much, too.

I've been feeling just like you and I thought that maybe I should "hang it up" before I failed at another attempt. But, after reading all of the words in this thread, I realized that everyone here probably felt the very same way at one time in their lives, too. Maybe they even feel like this with each new endeavor in the very beginning.

I guess it all comes down to wanting something so badly that you can see your way through and grow with each new piece you write.

When I started my writing class at school I felt so very small. I was the oldest in the class and I became so nervous that it took me several weeks before I felt like I belonged there. The class was great but not so much for the writing aspect. What it helped me with more than anything was feeling comfortable about what I enjoyed writing.

Don't give up - I don't plan on doing that either. It's all about practicing and feeling comfortable in your own skin really.

Good Luck!

 

[gauchecritic]

DN: Nobody's perfect... The smart ones change and improve, the stupid ones don't.

The Earl

Just taking Earl to task here for a second if I may be so bold.

Everyone changes. The lucky ones improve. The stupid ones don't know they've changed. The educated (in any sense) ones make choices.

Some are just

Gauche

 

[KillerMuffin]

Thanks! I'm just becoming really afraid that the more I learn, the more I will have to admit to myself that I'm not that good. Sigh.

I'm not giving up yet though.

Somewhere along the way we all set this unrealistic notion about how good we must be to be a "real" writer, or even a "good" writer.

We read stories and articles from masters of the craft, compare ourselves, and we see that we are "not that good".

The question isn't if we're that good at writing, but if we're good enough. Are you?

There is only one satisfactory answer to that question and it comes from your basic belief in yourself. Do you belive in yourself? Do you believe that you can write? If the answer to that is "yes" then that belief and that belief alone should be what you rely on to tell you to write and submit your work to editors.

Editors will decide whether or not to put your work in publication. They do not decide if your writing is that good. They just decide if your piece is appropriate for their needs.

Your job, as a writer, is to strengthen your writing skills. Find your weaknesses and strengthen them as best you can. Find your strengths and work to make them better. Refine your skills in the various parts of writing. Then take all of those, your strengths and your weakness, and use them craft a piece, then edit the piece, then submit the piece.

The reader will decide if you're that good. You should decide if you're good enough. That good only makes a difference if you're chasing a pulitzer. Good enough is good enough if you're chasing the dream of being a writer.

Just be careful if you do ever decided that you're "that good". It gives one the most appalling sense of arrogance and people really hate to be around people like that. It also stagnates you. If you're "that good" then why bother perfecting perfection?

So, are you good enough?

 

[TrinaT]

DN:

A lot of good advice has been given and I don't think I can add much to it. I personally have only 2 posted stories here on Lit. and have found that there are many people out there that are willing to help you along the way.

Life is a learning experience and I've been told to write what you know. Wildsweetone suggested picking a location and letting a story start there, sound like a great suggestion. The differences in my 2 stories, first one was pure fantasy and the second, a real experience (I wrote what I knew).

I think its great that that you're able to take a writing class. I've purchased several books on editing, grammar, formating, etc. which have helped with a novelette I'm working on and occasionally breaking away from it to work on short stories for Lit (helps to refresh me for the novelette).

Good luck in your endeavors.

Trina T.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Dear Gauchie,
Personally, I've never been able to tell them apart. They both had beards and drank a lot.
MG

Oh, MG, you little blonde! ANYONE can tell Dickens from Hemingway - Dickens has a "D" in it, and Hemingway had a lot of booze in him.

 

[MathGirl]

Chuck and Ernie

Oh, MG, you little blonde! ANYONE can tell Dickens from Hemingway - Dickens has a "D" in it, and Hemingway had a lot of booze in him.

Watch who yer acallin' "blonde," Swede.
MG

 

[Master_Vassago]

Ok My turn. I think your submissions thus far have been well received and you do have a knack for telling a good story. That said, we all wonder every now and then if we suck. Or at least I do. Some stories I have written have been very bad in My mind and scored well. While others I thought were way out there and everyone would hate took off.

My first six, yes six, attempts never even rated a 4.5 but now as it stands after 56 stories/poems My average score is 4.58 so I am pleased. Write what you enjoy as I believe it was wildsweetone who said add some of your travel ideas to a story and see what you can come up with that way.

Just some ideas from Me.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Chuck and Ernie

Watch who yer acallin' "blonde," Swede.
MG

It's not my fault I'm blond, it's my culture.