Feedback?

[RedBloodedAmericanMan]

My new story, in Erotic Couplings: "Resistance Thwarted"

Politics seem unimportant when she opens her blouse.

https://www.literotica.com/s/resistance-thwarted

 

[Bramblethorn]

The technical aspects (spelling/grammar/etc.) are fine, and the basic concept is cute. But the setup felt politically heavy-handed, which is going to alienate half the readers from the start.

Taiwanese Blowjob Girl doesn't get any chance to develop her personality, which weakened the story for me. I love D&S stories but for me they're more compelling when the submissive has been fleshed out a lot more. It makes the difference between dominating a sexy blow-up doll and dominating a person.

 

[Emirus]

I would take a guess that it’s less than 2000 words but to fully do justice to the plot it needs to be around 4K - 5k long so you can set the story up better and give it a better ending. At the moment it’s the equivalent of the $20 quickie. Okay at the time but the enjoyment quickly fades.

As Bramblethorn has already said it needs ”fleshing out.”

 

[gordo12]

Definitely a cute concept. I enjoyed it.

Lit pages are around 3550 words so at 1200 it' s a pretty short story, or in this case more of a sex scene. Some readers don't like that and will vote it down for that rather than accepting it.

2-3 page stories are more the norm.