Feedback welcomed

[Sir Nathan brightone]

I just started writing poetry, (if you can call it that), about a month ago. Any comments/feedback on the poems I've posted on lit would be really appreciated.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=394539&page=submissions

 

[WickedEve]

I read about half of them and they're not bad. Some of them seem a bit choppy... kind of like reading a list with just a couple of words per line. Maybe if you lengthened the lines and fleshed some of the poems out a bit more, it may be an improvement.