Feedback wanted--did I make the right edit?

[astuffedshirt_perv]

I just posted a story, my third, called Desert Fun in Erotic Coupling. Question: should I have gone with the 'Extended Fuck Remix' of this story? The extra stuff ended up on the 'cutting room floor' because I didn't think it added enough to be included, and I went with a summary instead. Tough call. Was it the right one?

Also, I ugh noticed 2 grammar errors--can those get fixed after posting?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=58833

I would describe this story as MF with 3K words, pretty short.

Desert Fun

 

[peachykeen]

Overall very good work but I definitely think the Extended Fuck Remix would add the extra oomph it needs. After all, you did such a great job of working it up to that point! To then not really explore the passion of the sexual encounter is an anticlimax. (read that last sentence anyway you choose...)

In the vein of mixing science and sex, I think you might enjoy my story, "A Chemistry Experiment".

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=57962

Feel free to 'remix' and send along the new product, I would be happy to re-read!