Feedback request - new story

[hurricane64]

Hi all,

Would like some feedback on a new story I did (A Question Answered - romance). It's my first one here. Haven't ever submitted something like this publicly, so I'm looking for external opinions.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=192363

Thanks in advance for your time and comments.

 

[Winemaster]

the description of the characters

I liked that when reading your story....I got a good feel of the two characters...well done

 

[hurricane64]

Thanks. I'm glad I was able to convey that.

Although the story is fictional, I felt very strongly about it and felt I had to write and share it, no matter who liked it or who didn't.

 

[AppleBiter]

I enjoyed this story. It was a good read and had a slow burn element to it, which I particularly enjoy. There were a few places where I felt that more descriptive material would've ultimately added to the story, but all-in-all, it was a good piece. Thank you for sharing and please do write more!!

 

[virgin_with_big_tits]

overall i agree with apple... good job more details are never a bad thing

 

[spyro1123]

i guess my problem with this story is that it doesnt give us a very good feeling for what drives the characters aside from sex and beer....(well maybe thats not too unusual)

Aside from that it is nice.

 

[hurricane64]

Thanks for the feedback.

Obviously there is a lot more complexity going on between the two. If that didn't get across, I need to do a better job of conveying it.

Although sex and beer isn't all bad for a budding relationship...

 

[athena_by_night]

Sweet buildup. I liked it overall. I thought you had a nice buildup going and I think that you had them become friends first, including sharing experiences with their daugthers was a nice touch.