Feedback on Whore Division

[Faye_Skylark]

Hi all!

I'd recently tried my hand at writing here at Lit and posted a story called Whore Division, and thought I'd ask for some feedback on what I've written.

There are four chapters so far, and they're reasonably short, each only one or two pages.

The first chapter was kind of a short test to see if I could write a sex scene I had in mind, and then the actual story elements kick off from Chapter 02.

Basically, my aim for the story is to be fun, quirky, and of course erotic. It's not meant to be taken too seriously, and some of you may guess a few of the things I'm satirizing or paying homage to.

Here's the link to my page: http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1303470&page=submissions

Would love to know what people here think of it! Feel free to comment or throw me questions and I'll do my best to answer!

xox

Faye Skylark

 

[Faye_Skylark]

Bump!

Doesn't have to be a dissertation critique, just any old comments would be lovely!

 

[darrad143]

Read chapter1 well written. I'll try to comment after each chapter. You do write a good throat fucking

 

[Faye_Skylark]

Thanks very much darrad143! The first chapter is pretty much raw oral sex. The story gets going from chapter 2, so I hope you enjoy it!

 

[Faye_Skylark]

My next chapter is up, so I thought I'd give this a bump for those interested in reading.

http://www.literotica.com/s/whore-division-ch-05

Enjoy!

 

[brian358]

Excellent series!

I've already emailed Faye to tell her how much enjoy her stories.

In fact, Whore Division is already one my favourite story series.

It's light-hearted, fun, fast-paced, doesn't take itself too seriously, and is very well-written.

The characters are still developing but the lead, Erica, is definitely someone I want to read more and more about!

It would be nice to see more of the other characters too, and I'm already developing a crush on Cara.

In short, I'd recommend it to anyone - especially blowjob afficianados.