NoJo
Happily Marred
- Joined
- May 19, 2002
- Posts
- 15,398
Hi, looking for critical feedback from any authors here, on an unsubmitted story.
PM me if you have time/inclination to read -- it's romance, first person female POV.
I'll post a para here to give you the feel:
“You saw the creases in my face, the grey beard, my bent back. But you didn’t see the man. As in our game of Go, you focused on the details, but missed the whole. My name is Kano Takegawa, and you are correct: I am no more a monk than are you.”
“Kano Takegawa. That name is unknown to me, and I doubt it is your own. But whoever you be, you cannot further increase my shame by subjecting me to further torment at your hands. Therefore I fear you not. Better you should take my life now. Unless you wish to see me take my own.”
This last was a lie. For in spite of all my pain and indignity, I was strong. And I felt that, as in Go, wherein it is unwise to resign before the game is truly ended, so the premature taking of one’s own life is foolish. Fortunes may change with the placing of a single stone.
PM me if you have time/inclination to read -- it's romance, first person female POV.
I'll post a para here to give you the feel:
“You saw the creases in my face, the grey beard, my bent back. But you didn’t see the man. As in our game of Go, you focused on the details, but missed the whole. My name is Kano Takegawa, and you are correct: I am no more a monk than are you.”
“Kano Takegawa. That name is unknown to me, and I doubt it is your own. But whoever you be, you cannot further increase my shame by subjecting me to further torment at your hands. Therefore I fear you not. Better you should take my life now. Unless you wish to see me take my own.”
This last was a lie. For in spite of all my pain and indignity, I was strong. And I felt that, as in Go, wherein it is unwise to resign before the game is truly ended, so the premature taking of one’s own life is foolish. Fortunes may change with the placing of a single stone.
