Feedback on first story desired

[Chance_is_a Lady]

I am new to Lit and to writing. This is my first story to have posted, please read and good or bad let me know what you think. Thanks


http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=190086

 

[Bloke678]

Brilliant!

Very good! There's something specially sexy about only a few words being spoken; 'actions speak louder than words', as they say! Very nice, hot sex, there. Absolutely loved it.

 

[msboy8]

R.V.C.ed your story, thanks.

 

[Chance_is_a Lady]

Thanks

I am glad that the two of you liked the story. It does a lot to boulster my confidence seeing your posts.

My friends have told me it was good, but they are my friends usually won't say if they think or feel that it needs this or that or if they couldn't follow the story line.

Although I did have one friend, tell me that I left the word "in" out.

More comments are welcome, both postive and negative.

 

[Chance_is_a Lady]

Bored
03/19/05 By: Anonymous
Excruciatingly dull and unoriginal




Had this been the first public comment my story had received, I might have been hurt and upset. Considering it was the fourth and the only one of its kind, the following are my thoughts:

1) You can't please everyone.

2) One out of five isn't bad. ( Actually I had expected more negative comments, but with specfic details of what wasn't liked.)

3) What did this person find that was so dull and unoriginal? (Aren't the thoughts of a person original and unique in themselves, considering no one else has the same exact thoughts?)

4) What a petty and childish way to react. (Thought this was an adult site? Wouldn't even put their name so I could find out why they feel that way.)

5) Is that what this person considers constructive feedback?

6) Is this person threatened by a loving and caring D/s relationship?

7) I considered deleting the comment, but decided to keep it in hopes that others would see it and the five that are positive, then read the story and decide for themselves. I had also hoped they would let me know either here or by public comments or any of the other various ways of contacting what they think. Plus I figure that we are all intitled to our opinion.

 

[sadsac]

Hi.

Loved the premise of your story, but I got lost in the confusing (to me) tense context of it. To me it was more of a screen play "... He gets up from the chair, and stuffs his rampant warrior down her gagging throat..." you know what I mean.

I do apologise for my confusion... is this the way it should have been read?

Keep up the the good work.

Regards.

pete.

 

[Chance_is_a Lady]

Hi.

Loved the premise of your story, but I got lost in the confusing (to me) tense context of it. To me it was more of a screen play "... He gets up from the chair, and stuffs his rampant warrior down her gagging throat..." you know what I mean.

I do apologise for my confusion... is this the way it should have been read?

Keep up the the good work.

Regards.

pete.

Thanks for your input, I will try to keep and eye on the the "tense" in the future. I am sorry that I confused you. No need for you to apologize when it is not anything that you have done.

Chance_is_a Lady

 

[davidwatts]

I am new to Lit and to writing. This is my first story to have posted, please read and good or bad let me know what you think. Thanks


http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=190086

I thought it was very nicely written, although I am not necessarily a fan of the he and she style. For a first story I think it is something you should be especially proud of. As for the negative comment, I wouldn't let it bother me. I've got a comment still on a story that calls me a liar and reams me out pretty good. The anon part is frustrating, as I (like you) would like to discuss the comment with the person.

I think that if we are willing to take bows and bouquets we should also be willing to put up with the occassional brickbat. That "bored" comment was certainly not one you were hoping to receive, but at least it was civil, if not accurate. I think your attitude of leaving it there is the proper one, as well as the artistically correct one.

There are writers here who remove comments that have even a hint of anything less than undying devotion. This is apparently designed to create the illusion that they are worshipped by the masses. Who this is supposed to fool besides the author eludes me.

Good luck to you.

 

[Chance_is_a Lady]

I thought it was very nicely written, although I am not necessarily a fan of the he and she style. For a first story I think it is something you should be especially proud of. As for the negative comment, I wouldn't let it bother me. I've got a comment still on a story that calls me a liar and reams me out pretty good. The anon part is frustrating, as I (like you) would like to discuss the comment with the person.

Unless the person was in your head when you were writing ............oh never mind.......sometimes (and I am not saying this because I thnk I am better than anyone else, I know that I am not) I think some people are jealous because they can't or won't try to acknowledge another's efforts, nor do they have the courage to post a story of their own and place a part of themselves before the public.

Thank you for your encouragment and your thoughts.

 

[Chance_is_a Lady]

What's that they say? "Bad publicity is better than no publicity!"