Feedback on dialogue

[DaddyAnal1966]

Thanks all for the feedback.

I have an edit of the story where I use italics for journal entries and hopefully that will help address the main concerns.

Who knows when that might get processed however.

Anyway I appreciated all of the advice and I now know I can use a subset of HTML, which I really should have figured out myself!!!

 

[thomas1965]

I’m sorry, I don’t know what that means. Using beats with a BDSM sort of guy may create the wrong impression

The blog-post explains action-beats well.
https://sandragerth.com/how-to-use-action-beats-in-your-writing/

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

The blog-post explains action-beats well.
https://sandragerth.com/how-to-use-action-beats-in-your-writing/

Thanks will read

 

[SimonDoom]

Personally, I think the key thing with dialogue is that the reader should know, without any effort, who is speaking. This can be accomplished in many ways: dialogue tags are the most obvious, but you don't need a dialogue tag on every line. When one character addresses the other in a snippet of dialogue, it's obvious who is speaking. "Beats," or pieces of narrative can make it clear. What I don't like as a reader is to slog through a long line of back-and-forth dialogue with nothing to identify the speaker. It's too easy to lose track. I notice when I feel like the author is going out of their way to avoid dialogue tags, and it annoys me. Not everyone feels the same way, but I think many readers do.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Didnt know the convention.

The double quotes were meant to be diary entries, the single quotes dialogue.

Maybe I got confused on occasion. Would have used italics of available in the web form.

You can use italics in a story. <i>text</i> You just have to make sure to put them around each paragraph and hope that a paragraph doesn't get chopped by a page break.

You can also use several other text formatting html tags...

Bold <b>text</b>
Underline <u>text</u>
Center <center>text</center>
Blockquote <blockquote>text</blockquote> - Although I haven't used this in a long time it will indent the text five spaces at the beginning and the end.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I counted up my own dialogue tagging practice across several stories some time ago (probably the last time this topic came around on AH), and found I was pretty consistent: about 20% he said, she said; around 40% no tags at all, in to-and-fro dialogue exchange where the speaker was obvious, and the remaining 40% narrative content to clarify who the speaker was, with an action moving the story forward.

As Simon notes, clarity is critical. If you're losing yourself, a simple he said, she said; or he asked, she replied; will usually suffice. The practice some writers have, insisting that each speech tag must be exclamatory, drives me nuts. It seems far too forced and unnatural, and gets in the way of the flow.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

You can use italics in a story. <i>text</i> You just have to make sure to put them around each paragraph and hope that a paragraph doesn't get chopped by a page break.

You can also use several other text formatting html tags...

Bold <b>text</b>
Underline <u>text</u>
Center <center>text</center>
Blockquote <blockquote>text</blockquote> - Although I haven't used this in a long time it will indent the text five spaces at the beginning and the end.

Thanks, I have transitioned to italics for the journal entries (when and if the story edit ever gets picked up).

I did some experimenting and <blockquote> didn’t seem to do anything.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I counted up my own dialogue tagging practice across several stories some time ago (probably the last time this topic came around on AH), and found I was pretty consistent: about 20% he said, she said; around 40% no tags at all, in to-and-fro dialogue exchange where the speaker was obvious, and the remaining 40% narrative content to clarify who the speaker was, with an action moving the story forward.

As Simon notes, clarity is critical. If you're losing yourself, a simple he said, she said; or he asked, she replied; will usually suffice. The practice some writers have, insisting that each speech tag must be exclamatory, drives me nuts. It seems far too forced and unnatural, and gets in the way of the flow.

And in studies of reader, it was found that most of the dialog tags were ignored unless there was some confusion as to who was speaking.

Even I do get confused and I'm the author, so I use them liberally just to make it clear who is speaking. I have read stories of mine and suddenly found myself lost as to whom was speaking. I had to go back several line to figure it out.

So make sure everyone knows who is speaking.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Thanks, I have transitioned to italics for the journal entries (when and if the story edit ever gets picked up).

I did some experimenting and <blockquote> didn’t seem to do anything.

Yeah, edits take about a week to get processed.

Blockquote might not get picked up by the submission viewer yet might show up in the posted product. Or they have just got rid of it all together.

As for where you create your works, I use word and just type the html in. When I go to post it I copy and paste the text.

There is on thing about the <center> tag. It has been decommissioned in HTML5 so the process converts it to a <p align> tag which adds a line feed after it, so don't put in a line feed after it in the text.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

Yeah, edits take about a week to get processed.

Blockquote might not get picked up by the submission viewer yet might show up in the posted product. Or they have just got rid of it all together.

As for where you create your works, I use word and just type the html in. When I go to post it I copy and paste the text.

There is on thing about the <center> tag. It has been decommissioned in HTML5 so the process converts it to a <p align> tag which adds a line feed after it, so don't put in a line feed after it in the text.

Thanks again.

I am desperately sad and write in the Literotica webform. I copy the text of “finished” works to do spell checking (especially as I am writing in my own approximation to American English).

I have never had any story edit uploaded - I have 4 queued.

 

[XerXesXu]

I have read stories of mine and suddenly found myself lost as to whom was speaking. I had to go back several line to figure it out.

So make sure everyone knows who is speaking.

Apart from the initiation, or exclamations - Duck! -if you can't tell from the content of the dialogue who's talking they may not be saying anything important.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

Apart from the initiation, or exclamations - Duck! -if you can't tell from the content of the dialogue who's talking they may not be saying anything important.

Sometimes a character not saying anything important is important

 

[XerXesXu]

Sometimes a character not saying anything important is important

Then it'll be obvious who'd not saying it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thanks again.

I am desperately sad and write in the Literotica webform. I copy the text of “finished” works to do spell checking (especially as I am writing in my own approximation to American English).

I have never had any story edit uploaded - I have 4 queued.

My God! Get yourself some software to draft in, it'll make your life so much easier. There are free Word clones around which give you basic functionality.

My suggestion, also, is to write in English English (I think you're a Brit) and don't try write in American English. You'll only cock it up and make things worse.

There are plenty of writers who get by writing their own nation's English, and many who get by with English as their second language. It's only when writers try to be "American" when they're not, that it goes wrong. It's the same when American writers try to write Brit English or Strine English, you can always tell when they're not - the nuance is wrong, the turn of phrase not quite right.

You're better off writing an Englishman in New York than trying to write New York English. Only someone living in New York can get that right.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

My God! Get yourself some software to draft in, it'll make your life so much easier. There are free Word clones around which give you basic functionality.

My suggestion, also, is to write in English English (I think you're a Brit) and don't try write in American English. You'll only cock it up and make things worse.

There are plenty of writers who get by writing their own nation's English, and many who get by with English as their second language. It's only when writers try to be "American" when they're not, that it goes wrong. It's the same when American writers try to write Brit English or Strine English, you can always tell when they're not - the nuance is wrong, the turn of phrase not quite right.

You're better off writing an Englishman in New York than trying to write New York English. Only someone living in New York can get that right.

I understand - I have my reasons - for both American English and using the web form.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I understand - I have my reasons - for both American English and using the web form.

Fair enough. Your editing then, will always be tedious, since the Form is not well suited for that; and I'd say the Yanks will spot you a mile off. You'd better start using double quotation marks, for a start.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

Fair enough. Your editing then, will always be tedious, since the Form is not well suited for that; and I'd say the Yanks will spot you a mile off. You'd better start using double quotation marks, for a start.

I know - on all points

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I have a story that I just put up that might give you some insight as to maybe how to do a journal thing. I wrote this way back in 2013 and for some reason that escapes me now, I took it down.

Michelle's Diaries