Feedback on Chapter 1 of a Story

[holes]

I've only written the first chapter of what I hope will be a long story and would love some feedback.

A young woman gets a job as a legal secretary and very early on her first day, she finds out why she was hired and why it's so well-paying...

Written in the first person from her perspective.

(I've a slight concern that because of the way the chapter ends and sets up the next chapter, it might have escalated too quickly rather than building up over a few chapters)

https://www.literotica.com/s/jennas-new-job-ch-01

 

[DreamCloud]

For what the story is, your speed is not out of line. If there were to be a bigger plot surrounding her sexual duties, then you would need to slow down. I suspect you will slowly increase the sexual activity, in which case a hand job is slow enough.

Her age changed from 19 to 18.

You many want to work on your timeline. You had her there for only 15 minutes, then you give the same time frame an hourly marker. Not to mention 8:35 arrival time. It's easier to speak in generalizations when it comes to time instead of trying to specify it exactly (unless it is plot necessary.)

Examples:
I met the partner when I arrived that morning.
I had jerked off my boss and it wasn't even time for lunch.

Other than those observations and some slight wordiness, you write good erotica.