Feedback for new story

[RedMonkeyButt]

Hi, I was wondering if I could get any feedback on my newest story. It's short and non-human.

Thank you, and honest feedback is appreciated.

 

[TxRad]

PMed ya with a couple of things

 

[Derroreaper]

Great read, feedback left

Derro-

 

[RedMonkeyButt]

Thanks! Both of you.

 

[RedMonkeyButt]

bumpity