Feedback appreciated for my second series

[Stimtheone]

After what I consider to be the success of my previous series, I have taken to a second in the same "universe". Looking to get an appraisal of it and criticism of the constructive variety. I believe my writing has improved since the last one.

First Part of What it takes

Come forward with both praise and pointing of flaws. If no one does, how can it improve?

 

[LongDraw]

After what I consider to be the success of my previous series, I have taken to a second in the same "universe". Looking to get an appraisal of it and criticism of the constructive variety. I believe my writing has improved since the last one.

First Part of What it takes

Come forward with both praise and pointing of flaws. If no one does, how can it improve?

I read page 1, but honestly I am having difficulty following the plot, whatever it may be. I also think running your story through a tool like Grammarly or ProWritingAid would benefit it. I didn't vote your story because I think it holds promise. I may come back and read another page another day. Good luck!