Fears about writing

jason999

Virgin
Joined
Jul 6, 2005
Posts
18
I don't know if this is where this type of thread goes but here I go.

I'm a virgin (yeah, that title under my name rings true in more than one respect!). If I did start writing erotic stories, they would be from my thoughts and fantasies. I just don't know if I can correctly articulate them. I don't think I could write smut, but I don't want to be syrupy either.

Another worry I have is that if I indulge in these fantasies and whatnot, what will I have left? I've read a few erotic stories and I just felt... drained when I finished. Not because I was mastubating or anything (for you sick pervs out there!!!) but because I felt so emotionally involved. I don't think I could be some prolific erotic writer because it takes to much out of me. Emotionally and otherwise.

Fear 3: I'm a perfectionist and I don't want to write anything sucky. I know I'll have to so I can get better, but still, I don't want anyone telling me my work sucks. I take it to heart. I won't break down and cry, but it will get under my skin.

Any suggestions on getting over these?
 
jason999 said:
I don't know if this is where this type of thread goes but here I go.

I'm a virgin (yeah, that title under my name rings true in more than one respect!). If I did start writing erotic stories, they would be from my thoughts and fantasies. I just don't know if I can correctly articulate them. I don't think I could write smut, but I don't want to be syrupy either.

You'll never know until you try, will you? :)

I firmly believe that some are born with talent, but even those people still have to practice, practice, and practice some more to become good, at whatever their talent is. You have to start somewhere, and expecting perfection from yourself is treating yourself a little harshly, isn't it?

Another worry I have is that if I indulge in these fantasies and whatnot, what will I have left? I've read a few erotic stories and I just felt... drained when I finished. Not because I was mastubating or anything (for you sick pervs out there!!!) but because I felt so emotionally involved. I don't think I could be some prolific erotic writer because it takes to much out of me. Emotionally and otherwise.

When I finish writing a story, I feel drained and wrung out, too. That may be one reason I'm not as prolific as some. Good characters and stories stick with you, whether you were the one that wrote them or not. You do, however, get over it. ;)

Fear 3: I'm a perfectionist and I don't want to write anything sucky. I know I'll have to so I can get better, but still, I don't want anyone telling me my work sucks. I take it to heart. I won't break down and cry, but it will get under my skin.

See my point above about being too hard on yourself.

Anyone who works hard to get something right doesn't like to be told they suck, but I will tell you this: if you're going to put your work out there for others to see, you're going to have to get a little bit thicker skinned. Of course, it's not hard to ignore someone who sends you feedback that says "You're a sick fuck!" or my personal favorite a friend of mine received: "You're so stupid! You're so stupid! You're so stupid! You're so stupid!" :D

The best advice I can give you is to find someone that's willing to look over your work with a very honest, critical eye, and that will tell you what works and doesn't work with your story. The volunteer editor program here is exactly what that's for. I will caution you, though: the worst thing to do is to get very defensive about your writing and refuse to take any of the suggestions that your editor offers.

Give it a shot. You may just get hooked like the rest of us. :)
 
I agree with everything Cloudy told you.

As far as your being a virgin, big deal. I know the general rule is: Write what you know. What you don't know, research so you *do* know. There are some things that you just can't research easily. Therefore, you fall back on imagination. I use this analogy: Stephen King and Clive Barker can't have experienced a good portion of the stuff they write about (at least, I hope not), yet look at the stories they turn out.

Therefore, I wouldn't worry so much about writing about fantasies.

As far as getting them out in a form you'd feel comfortable pinning your name to, you can't possibly know what that form would be until you start writing. The way the words come together relies heavily on your own experience as a reader. If you read a lot (and not online stuff, the quality's often too erratic), chances are you'll have a good idea how a decent story's constructed. Even if you don't read much, sometimes it's surprising what you can turn out.

As Cloudy said, you need to practice, and the only way to practice writing is to write. A good way to hone yourself is to gather together a group of people you trust to give you helpful feedback, and apply what they have to say.

Another way is to find an author or two who you admire, and emulate his or her style, then feed in bits and pieces of somebody else, all the while throwing your own twists. Eventually, you'll have a style that's all your own, a distinctive voice.

Getting too involved... That's a tough one. It's true, if the characters are engaging enough, you can get really wrapped up in their "lives." Creating characters that people are going to feel something for is another matter entirely, and it isn't something that's taught by just giving a couple suggestions. It's almost a purely situational thing. You can generally get behind a character or not, but there isn't really a cookie cutter method for creating a character. It's one of those things where you have to write the character out in its situation, then decide if he/she is somebody a reader is going to identify with.

As far as perfectionism...

Well, that can go too far. It's good that you'd be critical of your own work, but you also have to be willing to let it go eventually. I'm sure there are plenty of professional writers out there who go back to their published work and find places they wish they could go back and re-do.

Not wanting to write anything "sucky." Well, the drawback is that like/dislike is too subjective a thing. I've gotten feedback from readers on the same story that has said it was the greatest thing they've ever written, as well as it was utter crap and that I should give up writing altogether. There is NO pleasing everybody. You might as well accept that now.

It doesn't matter how hard you try, how much you practice, how fabulous every other respondent says your story is. There will *always* be some moron who comes back with, "Your story sucked." The upside to that is that it will likely be anonymous feedback. Treat anonymous feedback the same way, positive or negative. If the respondent is too afraid to identify themselves, so you can go back to them and try to figure out what worked or didn't for them, then their opinion is barely worth consideration. The positive stuff obviously sits better than the negative, but 99.99% of your negative feedback will be anonymous.

The challenge is to find enough people to help you that the positives outnumber the negatives.

You'll never know until you try. Hell, write a masturbation story first. As a former virgin, I *know* that's something you have some experience with...
 
Jason, Write!

I can tell from your post that you can write very clearly. So, start with something you know about or are passionate about, like a fantasy about some girl you'd like to make love to, or whatever.

If you have some friends, male or female, who you can trust to give you good feedback, I would take your story to them first. I'm sure there are some very good editors here, however, I wouldn't trust all of them. Just because they voluntered doesn't make them experts. If you could get a referal, it would be better.

But, YOU probably know more about writing than most of the stranger people that you might ask. I recommend you read some of the help files in the story index section. There are some good ones there. And, like someone else mentioned, emulate the style or techniques of some good writers whose stories you have read here. I've learned a lot that way.

Good luck, and let us know when you post your first story.
HH
 
Okay, I understand not wanting to write ‘sucky’. A very long time ago I was in college taking courses for Business but I still needed to endure English Comp. The instructor constantly picked out one of my pieces to read to the class. I would cringe every time she did so.
At the end of the semester, she pulled me into her office, wanting to know why my chosen field wasn’t Lit. I wanted to be a manger and that was it.
35 years later, I’m still a manager and now I’m starting to write again.
Writing smut is easy compared to writing a romance or straight story.

Wet your feet. Take a chance and hope the story you write is good. Maybe it will be, you don’t know. If it has the right elements, it will be a good wank story. If you write a great story, the wank becomes meaningless and the majority of the readers will acknowledge it.

Kirk
 
Hey, don't worry about writing fantasies and stuff about things that you've never actually done before, I do it all the time!

I would suggest reading a LOT of stories in a category before you start writing in it, it'll give you a good overview of what goes into that category and also what different things feel like.

For instance, if you're a guy and you're writing about oral sex for a girl, read about it from several different sources before trying to write about it. and if you're not too shy, ask some friends too =P lol. or just post a question on the board and you'll probably get lots of answers back.

As for being a perfectionist... well, you may have to let that go. There are a lot of crappy people who go through just degrading other people's work and you just kinda have to learn to ignore them. It's not easy, and it's not fun, and if I could kick those people I probably would, despite the fact that i abhor violence, but unfortuantely they're part of the site. unless you dont' accept any feedback whatsoever of course.

Anyway, good luck, I say go for it, just make sure that you do your research first and you'll be fine! Let us know when you've got your first story up!
*HUGS*
 
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