Favorite Simpson's lines..

[Guest]

Let me post this in the right place this time

I have 3

Homer
"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!!!"

Willy
"I was wrestling wolves while you still suckling on your mama's teete"

and

Marge: "... and I'm afraid we'll smother him (Bart)"
Homer: "Yeah and then we'd get the chair."
Marge: "That's not what I meant Homer"
Homer: "It is Marge. Admit it"

 

[Guest]

In the episode where Homer and Marge enjoy sex in public places and start the episode in the barn getting out of the rain.

"Someone's going to get a good ass forkin!" said by the old farmer

 

[Guest]

OK, last one from me........this will take restraint...


"GOD....my favorite fictional character"

 

[Guest]

OK, I lied. THIS is my last one.


A drunk Homer at the bar says "You're right Moe. You're always Moe"

 

[Renegade]

my sig line the bottom one ... kind of apt for me too

Barney: Is it safe to come out yet, Mr. Gay Man, sir?
Moe: I'll do anything you say. *looks around* Anything.

Barney: Ah, Moe. We were saved by a sissy.
Moe: Yeah, there's no way I'm going to live this down. Looks like it's back to suicide for me.
Homer: Hey! We owe this guy. And I don't want to hear any of you calling him a sissy. This man is a fruit! And.... wait.... queer.... queer, queer! That's what you like to be called, right?
John: Well, that or 'John'.

I love that episode.

 

[Lady Violet]

~ HOMER ~

"ahh the last peanut, covered in oil from his dear departed friends."

-peanut falls into the couch-

"un oh..." searches "hmmm, hard, tickles, ew squishy (something like that) Awww, 20 dollars"

(homers brain) 20 dollars can buy lots of things

"explain how"

(brain) money is used to exchange for goods and services

"whoo hoo"

ok ok , its something like that. its still cool. ive got the cd's but im to lazy to get up and get the actual words! lol

My husband likes
~ Bart ~
"Eat My Shorts"

 

[talk2024]

Did you ever notice...

the weirdest thing about the Simpson family is that the only member of the family who does not speak french (except for Maggie, and the dog and the cat who rarely talk at all) is Lisa! Makes you wonder...

 

[talk2024]

Homer betting on football with Lisa

Homer: Buffalo is going to win. Lisa hates me. [sobs]
Man: Whatcha got riding on this game?
Homer: My daughter.
Man: [whistles] What a gambler!

 

[alexandraaah]

Re: Homer betting on football with Lisa

Homer: Buffalo is going to win. Lisa hates me. [sobs]
Man: Whatcha got riding on this game?
Homer: My daughter.
Man: [whistles] What a gambler!

Good old Ralph Wiggams:

"..my worm went in my mouth, then I ate it. Can I have another?"

 

[talk2024]

the secret ingredient in a Flaming Moe

Frink analyses the contents of a 'Flaming Moe'.

Frink: Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?

 

[alexandraaah]

What's that line?

The one where Bart says, "Consarnit" and Homer says:

"Bart! What did I tell you about talking like a ______________"

 

[born2loose]

Homer Simpson

"Don't keep blaming yourself, do it once and move on"

 

[Ice Cold]

Ralph:
Me fail english.... that's unpossible.

or Mr. Burns: "Excellent!"

 

[born2loose]

Bart Simpson line

What's santa's little helper doing to that dog, it looks like he's trying to jump over but can't quite make it!

 

[SpectreT]

This somewhat lengthy bit is my favorite:

Homer:MMMMmmm... Sixty-four slices of American Cheese....<Homer tears the wrapping off of a slice and scarfs it down loudly> one....

<fade out. fade in on Homer, sitting in a pile of plastic cheese wrappers. enter Marge.>

Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese again, Homer?

Homer: <weakly> I think I'm blind.

 

[alexandraaah]

Mmmm...grease...

Homer has a bucket stuck on his head and Marge is trying to pry it off with bacon grease (or something) and it's still stuck:

Homer: Couldn't you use a less delicious grease?

 

[Shockdoctor]

Homer and family are driving down the road and a deer runs out in front of them.

Homer: Doh!
Marge: A deer
Lisa: A female deer

 

[naudiz]

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" - Homer

"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" - Bart

 

[sexy-girl]

Barney: Is it safe to come out yet, Mr. Gay Man, sir?
Moe: I'll do anything you say. *looks around* Anything.

Barney: Ah, Moe. We were saved by a sissy.
Moe: Yeah, there's no way I'm going to live this down. Looks like it's back to suicide for me.
Homer: Hey! We owe this guy. And I don't want to hear any of you calling him a sissy. This man is a fruit! And.... wait.... queer.... queer, queer! That's what you like to be called, right?
John: Well, that or 'John'.

I love that episode.

lol very funny i agree

i wonder if lesbians are allowed to be camp too or if its just gay men ... i want some camp stuff

 

[alexandraaah]

on tonight...

Millhouse's parents are fighting and........

Homer says: "You know what you two need? A little cartoon called 'Love Is' it's about two naked kids who are married."

 

[talk2024]

from the Rear Window episode....

The ice cream truck scene at the beginning of the episode when Bart and Lisa run outside to the cry of 'Ice Cream, Ice Cream... I'm all out of ice cream! It's true, you know.'
Followed by the Chili truck,
'Chili! Red-hot Texas-style chili! And we got ginger ale: boiling-hot Texas-style ginger ale!

I thought that was hilariously funny but that might just be me !

Who boils their ginger ale?

 

[BustyTheClown]

lmao these are all great -- one of my faves is from the X-Files Simpsons, where Homer's drunk and talking to Mulder and Scully and he says:

"So I said, 'Red M&M, blue M&M, they all come out the same color in the end!'"

another one from that episode (roughly):

"He comes every Friday night... like Urkel! And he has a high-pitched voice... like Urkel!"

I'm sure there are a billion more funny quotes I'm forgetting, lol.

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

"Who Hoo, cheap meat!" - Homer

"Bottomless Pete, Nature's cruelest invention. Come for the Freak. Stay for the Food."

 

[Kitte]

My favorite has to be after they repeal prohibition:

Homer "To alchohol, the cause and solution to all of our problems"

and of course this breif exchange

Lisa talking to mr smithers about finding the creator of malibu stacy-

(lisa is standing by smithers as he turns his computer on)

Computer- (mr burns naked) "Smithers I really love how you turn me on"

Smithers- "Lets pretend you didnt see that"

 

[Phoenyx]

CBG sits at his computer
CBG: Oh, Captain Janeway. Lace: The Final Brassiere.
Oh hurry up, I'm a busy man. Ugh, this high-speed
modem is intolerably slow. (The download is interrupted
by a banner advertisement) Hey, what the? Huh, the
Internet King. I wonder if he can provide faster nudity.
(scene changes to Homer's office)
Homer: Welcome to the internet my friend, how can I help you?
CBG: I'm interested in upgrading my twenty eight point eight
kilobaud internet connection to a one point five megabit
fibre-optic T-1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP
router that's compatable with my token ring ethernet LAN
configuration?
Homer: (after long pause) Can I have some money now?