Fathers Day: favorite dad sayings

[vanmyers86]

Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers on this board! In the interest of doing something lighthearted, what are/were some of your father's go-to sayings when you were growing up? Bonus points if you've ever found yourself repeating them!

Mine was kind of a Red Foreman dad, so:
Go ask your mother.
Shut the door, I'm not paying to heat/cool the entire world.

 

[joeyjax]

Well, I'm a military brat, so something I heard pretty frequently growing up was "We're moving." But I grew to hate that one and since having kids of my own, we've moved once and only once.

On a lighter note, heard this one way too many times, too. Never repeated it in real life.

My Dad, to any waiter/waitress when we'd go out to eat: "I hope you don't mind I brought my ladder."
Waiter/waitress stares blankly in response.
My Dad: "Well, I heard the meal was on the house."

Stupidest joke ever. And every time he'd start in with it, my mom would roll her eyes and us kids would cringe.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

My Da wasn't big on one-liners. My favorite saying of his was

"The only time you should be interested in someone's sex interests is when you're interested in having sex with them."

I first heard it from him in regard to a scandal in the 1950s about some government official being a "security risk" because he was gay.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Aside from the nearly universal: "shut the door, I'm not heating the whole neighborhood"

After brushing my teeth, showering or washing the dishes: "you used enough water to float a battleship."

Also: "don't look at me in that tone of voice!"

Whenever he was trying to fix something and I was designated tool hander:
Me: what're you doing that for?
Him: to make little girls ask questions
(Then he'd give me hints so I could figure it out)

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Well, I'm a military brat, so something I heard pretty frequently growing up was "We're moving." But I grew to hate that one and since having kids of my own, we've moved once and only once.

Me too, Navy, so maybe not as often as some families, but almost always from one side of a continent or ocean to the other...

 

[joeyjax]

Me too, Navy, so maybe not as often as some families, but almost always from one side of a continent or ocean to the other...

Mine was all domestic, so I didn't even get the benefit of being able to say I saw another part of the world. My older siblings were all born overseas and lived there til just before I was born. I've never left the states (+Canada). Someday, I still hope to, though. Ireland, Iceland and New Zealand all seem like magical places to me. But I still also have plenty of places here to visit, too.

Just remembered a couple of Dad sayings from when I was a kid...
"Anyone else just hear an elephant?"
and
"Anyone see the remote?"

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Mine was all domestic, so I didn't even get the benefit of being able to say I saw another part of the world. My older siblings were all born overseas and lived there til just before I was born. I've never left the states (+Canada). Someday, I still hope to, though. Ireland, Iceland and New Zealand all seem like magical places to me. But I still also have plenty of places here to visit, too.

My sister and I were both born overseas, and did some our schooling in local schools in Wales. I lucked out, she went to three different high schools, but I was 12 when dad retired from the Navy, so I got to have middle and high school in the same system.

Interestingly, I moved a couple or three times since graduating high school, and my sister stayed put...

 

[99Freedom]

“Got time to lean, then you got time to clean. “

 

[jsmiam]

More on doors, “That door’s not going to shut itself”. (Same for Windows, TVs shutting themselves off. Really. Nothing shuts itself.

Also, “you make a better door than a window.” (When you’re standing in front of the TV.)

 

[NotWise]

My sister and I were both born overseas, and did some our schooling in local schools in Wales. I lucked out, she went to three different high schools, but I was 12 when dad retired from the Navy, so I got to have middle and high school in the same system.

Interestingly, I moved a couple or three times since graduating high school, and my sister stayed put...

My wife was an Air Force brat and moved around a lot while she was young. My dad was a civilian employee of the Air Force. He ran educational programs. We moved almost as much, but not as far.

I might have been willing to move during our life, but my wife had it with moving. We're staying here.

And to the OP, my dad was a quiet man. I don't remember many repeated words.

 

[RandyD1369]

Per my Father: "When it stops being fun and starts being work, it's time to start looking for a new job."

Per my Mother: "Some people can tell you to go to Hell so nicely, you're in a hurry to start the trip."

 

[Wifetheif]

I remember my dad always saying, "if the guys at school keep calling you a sissy, stop giving them blow jobs!"

 

[SisterJezabel]

Aside from the nearly universal: "shut the door, I'm not heating the whole neighborhood"

Down Under, dads just yell "Were you born in a bloody tent?" if you left the door open!

Then there was the 'Well we're not here to fuck spiders!"

"Fair suck of the sav!"

"Fair shake of the sauce bottle"

"Pass the Dead Horse!" (Tomato sauce/ketchup!)

Me: "I'm bored!"
Dad "G'day Bored, I'm Dad!"

"What do you think this is? Bush Week?"

"Did you get ya bloody licence in a Weetbix box?"

"Sounds like a bloody nun on a penny farthing" (virgin on the ridiculous!)

"Dry as a dead dingo's donger!"

"You're as bloody useless as tits on a bull!"

"You're a stubby short of a 6-pack"

"You're a sandwich short of a picnic!"

"There's a kangaroo loose in the top paddock!" (ie lots of room in your head with no brain!)

"You couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties!"

"Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery!"

"You're as useless as a cock flavoured lollipop!"

"Come on in son and make an impression by dragging your balls in the butter."

"She bangs like a dunny door in a cyclone!"

 

[ElectricBlue]

My old man used to look over the top of his glasses, trying to figure out whether he recognised the girl who'd dropped by. In fairness, he did know my actual girlfriend's name most of the time.

He excelled himself one morning when a university gf was staying with us. Rosie was sleeping in the spare room (single beds, such a pain), and wandered out in the morning. Dad was in the kitchen, making as he always did a morning pot of tea. He turned around, teapot in one hand, kettle in the other, his dressing gown undone. Quick as a flash, no problem at all, he said, "Good morning Rosie, would you like a cup?"

Later, she commented, "You are your father's son." Way to go, Dad .

 

[Handley_Page]

“you make a better door than a window.” (When you’re standing in front of the TV.)

Often spoke by my Grandad.