Farm Fatale

[chanaud]

For now this is a closed thread for Ariosto and myself. As the plot moves, we will open the thread. Enjoy!



Thank you for visiting Chicago

I almost cried when I read the sign. Goodbye Chicago, hello Walls Nut Creek, Iowa. Where in the hell is Walls Nut Creek, you ask? I don’t know. Who cares. All I know is my husband, the great sportswriter; Skip O’Reilly is moving me to write his great American novel.

Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Tiffie O’Reilly nee Tiffany Barron. I had my pick of the liter when it was time for me to choose a husband. Skip, tall, dark and handsome, also a Cubs starting pitcher swept me off my feet at a local hospital charity fundraiser. One month later, we eloped. Two years later, Skip blew his elbow into retirement and landed a weekly column with the Chicago Times.

We led a blissful life. Until a month ago, that is. Our downtown penthouse was chosen as the monthly feature in Architectural Digest. The same day our penthouse hit the stands, an anonymous caller (rumored to be an Oscar winning actress) offered us an astronomical amount (in cash) and Skip announced he resigned from the paper and is going to write the great American novel.

“That’s great.” I’ve always believed in wives supporting their husbands. I’ve never been one for Women’s Movement.

“Tiffie, you don’t understand. In order to write the novel, we have to move where it’s peaceful. Chicago is too busy and will strain my thoughts.”

“Oh goody. We always talked about buying a house in the country. What about Lake Geneva.” My eyes gleamed at the thought. “I hear the Fields have a house there.”

“No Tiffie, my love. We have to get away. Far away. I’m thinking Iowa or Nebraska.”

“Iowa? Nebraska?” It sounded so foreign to me. So foreign, I broke my manicured nail.

Because, I love my husband, I agreed for him to move me to Walls Nut Creek. Well, it did take a 3-carat diamond ring and matching earrings.

So, here we are. We traded our Jaguar and BMW for an Isuzu Trooper because Skip insisted country folks drive SUVs, packed high with our Louis Vuitton designer luggage following the I-80 West sign to Walls Nut Creek, Iowa.

 

[ariosto]

"That's a damn fancy car you got there Mister O'Reilly."
Ned Ferber the sepulcheral real estate agent kicked the tires of the Forest Green Trooper,
"But it ain't what I'd recommend for gettin' to your place on most days."

Skip looked puzzled as he helped boost Tiffany up onto the drivers side of the Dodge Ram pickup with oversize tires and a sign on the side which said...
Ferber Real Estate Company
Agricultural Acreage and
'Fix Me Up' Properties Our Specialty!"

Skip also noticed Mister Ferber's rapt attention on Tif's
tightly rounded ass and long long legs which were hard to load into the dizzyingly high passenger seat with any kind of
grace or modesty.
"Yep..."
said Ned as he slid behind the wheel. "You need somethin' a bit more hefty, like this truck...which is for sale by the way."

They ran through the towns one stop light and took a turn onto
'Hard Labor Creek Road'

"What do you think of our metropolis Missus O'reilly?"
Tiffany was almost in Skip's lap as she tried to distance herself from Ned Ferber.
Real Estate Agents she'd known did NOT smell like this!

"Well...it seemed...quaint...maybe a bit... ummm run down?
She looked at Skip who frowned and shook his head.
"Ahhh...not run down exactly...homey. Yes Homey...
But of course I havn't seen all of it."

They hit a rut in the road dep enough to bury a cow and
nearly hit the roof. Ned laughed loudly,
"I reckon you've seen all there is to see ma'am. That WAS Walls Nut Creek."

He slewed the big truck to a stop, yards away from a wide, rushing torrent of water that sliced across the road ahead of them.
"And that's Walls Nut Creek itself....Pretty ain't it? She acts up like this whenever there's a spot of rain."

Skip had visions of the Isuzu slowly rolling over in the stream, headed for the Mississippi.

Ned slapped Tiffany on the thigh...slowly.
"If you look real hard away up on that hill you can see your place.
The old Hogg farm. It's just like it was when Buster Hogg died.
You got 118 acres of the finest dirt in Iowa...bet on it."

"How long ago did Mister Hogg die?"
Tiffany slid her leg out from under Neds sweaty palm.

"Twenty seven years ago Last January, best I can recall."

 

[chanaud]

“Oh my gawd, he stinks!”

I tried to bury my nose in Skip’s polo sleeve but his stench was buried deep in my nasal passages. I was ready to kill my husband until Ned pointed out the estate.

The first thing my eyes caught was the old hand painted sign that read Hogg Haven. I rolled my eyes. I am NOT going to live in a place called, Hogg Haven. Far back the sign, atop a rolling hill was the most beautiful, three story mansion; I’ve ever laid eyes on. It was painted an antique white with black wooden shutters and was surrounded by a large live oak tree. It was a picturesque scene right out of Gone With the Wind.

I gasped. Skip patted my thigh. Ned took it as a sign of encouragement for he patted my other thigh while he drove us up the long winding path towards our future home.

“This house sat here for 27 years?” Skip asked incredibly.

“Yep. Nobody in town can afford it. You city folks have all the dough.”

“Ohhhh Skip. I adore it.”

“Now…now…Sugarlips…let’s not be hasty. We haven’t seen the inside AND Mr. Ferber hasn’t given us the sticker price yet.”

“Weell…the owner is asking for $125,000. If it’s too much let me know, I’ll show you somethin’ else. We do have a two bedroom ranchhouse for $20,000….”

Skip puffed out his chest as he tried to hide the grin from monopolizing his face. “Let’s look at the house first, Mr. Ferber.”

When Ned rolled his Dodge in front of the front steps, Skip and Ned jumped out immediately. I took my time and repainted my lips. No matter where a girl is, she’s got to look her best.

I jumped out of the truck and was greeted with a …….”Mooooooooooo”

“Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiip”

 

[ariosto]

Ned threw a rock at the holstein which struck it between the eyes with a sound like a brick hitting concrete.
The cow said 'mooooooooooo' and twitched it's tail a few times.
Skip reached in the cab and lifted Tiffany out and over the frozen mud puddle and cow patty puré that made up most of the front lawn.

The house was majestic all right. Eight columns spanned the wide verandah, three stories high, huge chimneys at either end.
Hell, a coat of paint and it would be good as new!

"They don't build 'em like that anymore Mister O'Reilly."

"No they sure don't. We'll buy it.!"

Ferber's eyes narrowed..."You mean right now.?"
"You bet I do! This is it! I can feel it in my bones!...where do I sign?"

"Skiiip?"
Tiffany tapped his shoulder,
"Are you sure about this?"

"Damn right I am! Who picked New England to go to..."
Ned Ferber jammed a thick stack of papers and a bic pen in his hand.

"Don't we need to go sit in a bank or something Ned."
The real Estate agent chortled,
"Heck no! We're in Iowa...we can do it on the hood of my truck!"

 

[chanaud]

It did cross my mind why the contract was so thin. I’ve never seen anything like that. I didn’t say anything because, Skip didn’t and well, he IS the man of the house. Guess that’s how they did things in Iowa.

After Skip handed the check, Ned handed the keys to him and shook his hand. He extended his to me too. I couldn’t help look at him with distaste. His fingernails had dirt under them! Or was it dirt? Minding my manners, I extended a limp well-manicured hand in return.

“Welcome to Walls Nut Creek.” Ned pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. With a touch of a button, he was talking to someone.

“Tucker, I’ve got a job for you. Populations now 49. Yep, the O’Reilly’s bought the ole Hogg place. Yep, $125,000. Didn’t even see the inside. Yep….Yep…. Yep, just handed the check over. City folks. Yep. How is Ethel’s hangnail?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he disclosing our personal business? Skip didn’t notice. He was busy taking in the sights. There seemed to be a glow on his face. Yes, I think farm life suits him.

After Ned hung up, he jumped in the truck. “Come on. I’ll drive you back to town. Free of charge.”

 

[ariosto]

The trip back was worse than the trip out. They hadn't noticed the train tracks then, lost as they were in the general melange of muck and potholes they called a road in these parts but now a slow moving freight of...

"Good God! I've counted 184 cars, I thought there was a limit on how long a train could be!"
It had taken 23 minutes for the train to pass by and Skip had to pee really bad.
Tiffany spent the time wondering if there was anyway to get their lovely brownstone back in Chicago before it was too late.
"C'mon folks let's celebrate! I'll buy us all lunch at Macdonalds."

Skip was stunned...
"You have a Macdonalds!?"

Ned flashed a gap toothed grin in the rearview,
"You bet we do!...Dermott Macdonalds Diner and Bait shop...I think today's special is bologna in brown gravy with fries."

 

[chanaud]

Bolagna! They must have a real German butcher.

"Sure, I can go for some real German potato salad."

"ermm....German tater salad? They have their own tater salad?" Ned copped another feel on my thigh, only this time his caloused fingers seem to sweep the inner part.

"Nope. Dermie boy don't have a menu. Only serve the special of the day. Today is bolagna. Hell, let's go. You can meet the whole town."

Before, Skip and I had a chance to nod our heads, the truck pulled in front a rustic white shack with a sign painted with faded red letters, 'MacDonald's'.

"Lookey here. The mayor's here."

Ned jumped out of the truck. "Tucker! This here's the O'Reilly's."

Looking back, he noticed we were still sitting in the truck, not knowing how what to make of the Mayor.

 

[ariosto]

Tucker Phibbs was the fattest man they'd ever seen. He made sumo wrestlers seem anarexic. But it wasn't his bulk that kept the O'Reilly's glued to their seats in surprise.
It was his color! Mayor Phibbs was yellow!...not yellow like an Oriental, no...yellow like a sunflower...yellow like a lemon...like Land-O-Lakes! Van Gogh would have died for such a rich buttery yellow.

Ned leaned into the truck, his bony shoulder against Tiffany's breast.
"Don't let Ol' tucker scare ya now. I know with his Rambo bandana and bandoliers of ammo, he's quite a site.
He was gassed in Nam see. Agent Orange..it's worn off some but he ain't never been quite right."

"But he's the Mayor!"
Tiffany, couldn't take her eyes off the nightmarish figure as she leaned away from the real Estate Agent's groping shoulder.

"We just let him do that to humor him a bit...Now come on! Let's eat!"

 

[chanaud]

Skip grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the truck. “Come on sugarlips, let’s eat.”

Wrapping his hand around my waist, he pulled me towards him and whispered in my hair, “It’s not that bad, sugarlips.”

I didn’t care if Ned or Tucker heard me, I hissed into Skips’s hair, “Not bad? Not bad? Look around this place. It’s a dump! Skiiiiiip…let’s go home, baby.”

Ned and Tucker stood there practically drooling from our scene. This was great stuff for the Walls Nut Creek Times. They haven’t had this much drama since Claudette Johnson got caught cheating in the annual Pig Calling Contest.

“Sugarlips, not now. We’ll leave as soon as we have lunch. Come on, baby. I’m starving. All we had this morning was that power bagel at Starbucks.”

“I’m not going inside and stop calling me Sugarlips!” Others stopped to tune into our act.

Skip grabbed my hands and pulled me to him. Leaning into his chest, he smoothed down my rich auburn hair. “Please Su…Tiffie. I promise you can decorate our new home anyway you like. I’ll make sure the bank pays whatever bill comes his way.”

Sensing my quivering lips, Skip smothered me with baby kisses. “For me, Sugarlips.”

Feeling myself give in, I wanted reassurance from Skip. “Anyway I would like? You promise?”

At the sign of the slightest nod, I was all of a sudden hungry. Turning to the wide-eyed men, I rewarded them with the widest smile. “I am starving! What’s the special again? Why hellooo, Mayor. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you. I’m Tiffie O’Reilly and this handsome man is my husband, the future Pulitzer writer, Skip O’Reilly.”

Tucker Phibbs took my offered hand and shook it violently. It took all I had to hide the disgust when his body rolled like a giant ocean wave with each shake.

 

[ariosto]

It turned out that Mayor Phibbs had eaten the last of the baloney but the dispeptic and dour Dermott Macdonald did manage to whip them up some peanut better and jelly sandwiches...crunchy, concord grape...and microwived some fries.

The Isuzu did not wash down the river as Skip had feared and in fact had traveled only 200 yards before jamming into the limbs of a toppled mapletree. Which gave them a reasonably dry escape route from the rapidly sinking vehicle.

"Come on Honey, It's not so bad!"
His voice lacked some of the conviction it had shown earlier in the day but Tiffany was beyond caring. She knew in her heart that this was all a nightmare and come morning she would if neccessary be walking back to to Chicago.

It started to storm of course. The gray scudding sky dumping buckets of cold wet rain on them and turned the fields into quagmiers of thick gooey mud.
Her heels were gone instantly and even Skip was having a hard time walking with 12 pounds of muck clinging to each JL Bean hiking boot.

Thunder rolled and lightning split the sky showing them the Hogg place in all it's tattered glory.

"Home!"
Skip gestured broadly and tried as much as he could to look like Brigham Young when he set eyes on the great Salt Lake,
though BY in all liklihood was not leaking icey rainwater at every joint.

CraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaK!

Another bolt of lightning!...Tiffany screamed!
Straight as an arrow it struck the old barn and in seconds the aged structure was shooting flames a hundred feet in the air!

 

[chanaud]

“Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiip”

Skip grimaced for the fifth time today as he heard me scream out his name.

“Oh fuck! Quick! Grab the water hose. We can’t allow the fire to reach the house!”

Off Skip went leaving me in the rain. I ran off in the opposite direction looking for a hose.

Trip! Down I went, face down into the ground. Spitting out grass, I was able to look back at what tripped me through the rain. A piece of wood was in the middle of the green pasture. On the corner was a once silver, now rusty handle. Perplexed, I pulled on the handle but it wouldn’t budge.

“Tiffie! What are you doing?” Skip was running towards me with a green hose. “Quick! Aim at the flames.”
I did exactly what he said. After what seemed like an eternity, the flames finally died.

Exhausted and panting heavily, Skip and I stood and watched the rain contain the white smoke from filling the air. We didn’t hear the sirens until it was directly upon us.

We turned our heads in unison and were once again stunned at the scene in our driveway. There was a rust red Dodge pickup truck carrying a wooden barrel. Mayor Phibbs rolled out the passenger side and wobbled towards us. “We’re here to put out the fire.”

Skip puffed his chest as he answered with a newfound masculine confidence. “Fire’s already out. We did it ourselves.”

“Ya did? Well darnit. I can’t believe we drove all the way out here. Oh well. Guess we can’t practice my new fire drill.”

After staring at the truck, Skip had to ask. “Ermmm..Mayor….Are you our fireman?”

“Uh huh..”

“Ermmm…is that your firetruck?”

His face widened with his smile. “You like it? I had to campaign hard for this here new truck.”

Skip had to know. “What do you have in that barrel?”

“Why water to put out the fire, of course.”

 

[ariosto]

When it was obvious that the O'Reilly's were not going to invite him for dinner out of sheer gratitude, The Mayor did wheelies down their 'driveway' in his haste to get away.

"Busy man I guess."
Skip stood looking at the receeding fire truck, then turned to his wife who'd been crying for some time now.
"Tif..."

"I want to go home. I want to go home to Chicago
right now!"
Tiffany's coiff had fallen to somewhere between her shoulders and the small of her back. Tears and rain had blended her makeup into a melange of colors slowly dripping off her chin and onto her smart white silk blouse...which Skip noticed was clinging to the fabulously full contours of his wife's new ten thousand dollar titties...
Arching an eyebrow suggestively, he slipped his arm around her trim waist.
"Tiff baby, whaddya say we..."

OOOF!

A short right to the solar plexis was followed by a sharp toe grinding which would have been a lot worse if Tiff's three inch heels were not now suspended in the quagmire of mud by the creek.

"I'm walking up to that horrible, hideous house. I'm going to curl up in a ball...by myself. In the morning, I'm going back to LakeShore Drive...GOT IT!"

"Yes dear."
Skip had learned over the years when it was best to be docile.

 

[chanaud]

[color=dark blue]With my unruly hair and tears streaking through my once perfect makeup, I stomped my way to the house.

“Dammit him! How can he do this to me?”

Over and over, I kept cursing through my blubbering tears.

“Damn! Damn! Damn! Daddy was right….”

“Skiiiiiiiiiiiiip” My echoing cry was lost through the rain as I fell into a deep, dark pit.

Uummppffffff

Down I went, on my tush! I landed on something cold, wet and cold. I tried to adjust my eyes. Darkness!

“Skiiiiiiiiiiiip…….Heeeeeeeeeelp Meeeeeeeeeeee”

My hands reached out and felt a wall surrounding me.

Skip gathered the luggage and made his way into the house wondering there was a comfortable bed. His eyebrows gathered into a tight knot when he heard the howling wind. Odd….the wind sounds just like Tiffie screaming for help. With a sigh, he dismissed it as his ears ringing from Tiffie’s constant crying from the day’s earlier events.

[/color]

 

[ariosto]

Dancing in the rain...


"You know , I have NO idea why they stored that chicken manure in the cellar, but we should be damned thankful they did Tiff...I mean you could have really hurt yourself falling through the floor like that!...I'll have to talk to Ned tomorrow about getting that fixed"

Skip knew of course that his wife was beyond furious, but she did still look incredibly lovely, twisting and turning in the driving rain like that. Her magnificent body luridly lit by the flash of lightning every few seconds.

"Hon we'll have that old water turned on tomorrow...that's a PROMISE!"
He yelled over the thunder,
"Now come on, you've got to be clean by now and that fire I started in the dining room with those old chairs should keep us toasty warm...."

She brushed by him without a word grabbing the musty drape he held out to her to dry with.

Damn but she was a good looking woman...gravity had not yet begun to effect her at all....take it easy boy, he said to himself, tonight is not the night...

 

[chanaud]

With the green velvety drape around me, I felt just like Scarlett O'Hara. After going through what I did, I felt one in the same with her.

Soon, the warm fireplace and Skip's massive body warmed me. I drifted off to deep sleep.

Somtime in the middle of the night, I felt a tongue licking my feet. I moaned and stirred in my sleep. His tongue licked between each toe and licked my whole underside. Tiny teeth scraped along the bottom causing electric shocks to course up my body and found its way to my inner core.

"Hhmmmmmmm...that feels wonderful, Skip..."

His tongue trailed up my leg and found its way to my inner thighs. Yesterday's events were soon erased. His tongue has always been his best asset. I spread my legs wider for him.

 

[ariosto]

No one had told them the Hogg place had come with a dog.
Old Blue only stayed there on occasion, using it as a headquarters in his unending and County wide pursuit of canine nooky.
He didn't look like a four legged Lothario, with his big droopy ears and slavering jowls, a legacy of his bloodhound mother, but there was a certain pugnacious and appealing intensity about him that may have come from his daddy, a tramp mutt just passing through.

Blue had his head up under Tiff's green velvet lingerie and was nuzzling his way to the prize when she woke up and reached down to bury her fingers in Skip's hair.
She did so love to be awakened this way. Maybe she would forgive him after all....
Their seemed to be something odd about the texture though and he needed to cut his nails!
That's when the smell hit her...

 

[chanaud]

I had to crinkle my nose at the stench emitting off Skip. He smelled like....like....UGH! A wet Dog!

Within a split second, realization hit me. If Skip smells that bad - he must be that dirty!

Before his tongue made contact, I scooted back quickly. Skip growled.

Growl?

"Honey what are you doing?"

His voice came from the doorway. If Skip was at the doorway, who was this growling between my legs?

AARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH

SKIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP....GET HIM OFF ME!

In an instant, Skip had Old Blue by his loose neck and pulling him away.

Old Blue didn't like it. He growled and shook out of Skip's grasp and once again charged after me.

My eyes squeezed shut, I flung my hands forward to hide my face and my privates. With no hands left, I kicked him as hard as I could.

 

[ariosto]

Blue rolled belly up and began to whine.
"Look what you did Tiff!...the poor old thing."
Skip knelt down to comfort the animal but her words stopped him cold.

"If you touch that horrid dog Skip you won't be touching me!"

He looked at her and she did look smashing in the golden candle light, her pretty faced flushed in anger...the velvety green of the drape holding up
her breasts. He always got horny at the first sight of Tiff's dangerous cleavage...

"ahhh..OK"
He stood up and directed the hound out the door with another well aimed kick then turned to his wife. He was feeling pretty good inspite of the hour. A cold rain water shower and 30 mile an hour winds can really get your blood pumping...and other things.

"Are you ready for me baby?"
He said tossing off his clothes.
She nodded, suddenly interested in what she saw inunveled in front of her but couldn't help wondering what might happen next...

 

[chanaud]

There he stood, his cock standing proud and ready for action. My quickened breaths gave me away. I wanted him!

Skip sauntered over to me and kneeled at my feet. My legs parted to invite him. His head started to dive down.

"Noooo...kiss me first." I whispered as I pulled Skip up.

"Huh? Oh yeah, right." His muscled body slid over mine allowing his cock to burn a trail up my body.

We kissed sweetly with our lips closed. It didn't last long. Our tongues soon found each other and started battling for control.

"Oooooooohhhh Skiiiiip....Do you know what I want?"

Skip grinned as he could almost imagine for they have always been creative under the sheets.

"What sugarlips?"

"I want my Bob.."

"Now?"

"Yessss now... I'm ready now..."

His head hung low. "But I didn't pack him."

 

[ariosto]

Bob, actually... BigBob, Long Bob, and Frantic Bob, the three "Bobs", were somewhere in the back of the moving van along rolling across Illinois right now with the video's, ben wa beads, and the infamous 'Ladie's Double Headed Delight' that they had so far not had the courage to play with.
It had cost $59.95 too!

"Hon would you settle for a 'Skip' tonight?"
He nibbled her ear lobe and she shivered but not from cold...
"Of course darling. How can I resist when you sound so sweet."

Her arms laced around his neck and her long legs slowly opened for him. They usually liked a long and sexy foreplay, but tonight a slow delicious missionary coupling seemed just right.
He used his fingers just enough to feel her moistening and opening for him and then with a sigh of refief he entered her warm sweet sheath, one slow delicious inch at a time. OH God but Tiff felt good! They were the perfect fit...the perfect fit...
His tongue moved in her mouth with the rhythms of their union.
They rose easily to a deep satisfying mutual orgasm, each of them knowing the others intimate needs and tempos perfectly.
She was as warmed and comforted as a she cat is when she feels her mates seed flooding hot and thick into her body.
Tiff nearly purred...Skip fell asleep.

It would have been best if she had too. Hurtling down the road
less than one hour away came the '74' rust and black Trans Am
of Eustice Hogg, two days out of Leavenworth and hell bent on reclaiming the family heritage.

 

[chanaud]

The slow even snores told me Skip fell fast asleep. Poor baby. Through all his faults, I truly, truly love him and would never ever leave him no matter how many times I threaten to do so. I gazed at his handsome face. “I’m such a lucky woman,” I thought happily.

I tried to fall asleep but the spooks of this strange house prevented me from doing so. The open windows allowed evil shadows to creep in and overtake the room. I crept closer to Skip expecting him to wrap me in his arms like he often did in Chicago. Only this time, he mumbled something incoherent and rolled over.

“Skip…” I whispered in his ear as I rolled him on his back.

“Mmmhmmmmm…” He answered between his snores.

“Skiiiippp…wake up…” My tone a little louder.

“Oh yesssss….baby….that’s it…take all in….oh yessssss…suck it….” Oh my God! He’s dreaming of me.

If this is what it takes for him to wake up, so be it. My body slithered down and settled between his legs. My lips managed to find his already bulbous head and took him in slowly into the warm depths of my mouth.

Skip’s hands found the back of my head and pushed down as his hips rose with my tempo.

“Oh yessssss….that’s it…Suck it….. You love sucking Ole Skippy, don’t you? Oh yessssss….”

My muffled mmhmmmm’s were sending vibrations through him. I cupped his tightened balls and felt the burning trail of his seed racing to my waiting mouth.

“OH YESSSSSSS…OH MY GAAAAAAAWD!!!!!”

THUUUMP!!!!

I lifted my head at the thunderous noise coming from the direction of the doorway. There stood an outline of what looks like a GIANT!

Unfortunately, Skip chose that moment to release his all. Spurts and spurts of boiling hot cum sprayed my face and my throat.

 

[ariosto]

Ain't no place in the world fer a Hogg nomore...


"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!"
The voice drowned out the thunder! The monster stood silouetted in the door backed by white hot flashes of lightning.
Skip's last spurt hit empty air as Tiff leaped up from the bed wrapping the old drape tight around her.
"yes...yes..we'll go. We were just leaving wern't we dear?
WEREN"T WE SKIP?!"

Skip O'Reilly wasn't a macho kind of guy but when he was riled up he could be fiesty and having one of Tiff's famous blow jobs terminated in mid orgasm was enough to do it.
He rose from the couch slowly....He stood like a bull dog hands on his hips, cock dripping, and glared at the apparition in the door.

"Make me!"

"Skip...maybe we should..."

"I SAID GET OFF MY PROPITTY!"
The monster roared again.

"Who the fuck do you think you are mister?"
Skip would not back down.

"Skip....honey, maybe we should..."

"IM EUSTICE V. HOGG AND MY DADDY OWNED THIS PLACE!...IT"S MINE NOW...SO GET!!"

Tiff began pulling on Skip's elbow..."See he owns it...we probably made a mistake...let's go skip darling."

"Wait just a minute buster. I bought this place today. I have the deed to it in my pocket."
He slapped his naked ass...
"Unhh...where's my pant's honey?"

"YOU BOUGHT IT!?"
The Hogg scracthed his shaggy head.
"OH..."

Tiff handed Skip the soggy papers with shaking hands.
"There take a look." He held them out to the intruder.

"Wunt do no good I caint read noways."

"Well their legal and this is our place now."
He tried to keep the note of triumph from his voice and he didn't hear the soft weeping of his wife behind him.
"Isn't it tiffany?"
"Yes...yesss." she sobbed.

"Ain't no place in the world fer a Hogg no more."
Eustice voice had dropped to a sad somewhat pitiful drone.
"Reckin' I'll mosey on.
Sorry fer bothrin' you folks."

"Uhhh...WAIT!...Skip ran to the door.
"We could use a handyman around here, if you want a job."

In the darkness and the driving rain, he couldn't see the sinister smile and gleam in the giants eye.
"That would be kindly of you sir, and I'll take ya up on it."

 

[chanaud]

”Ohhhh Skip, darling, what did you just do?!?!”

“Cupcake, did you see how sad he looked. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I gave him a tight hug. “You are so charitable. I wuv you Skip.”

Together we lie on the green drapes and fell fast asleep holding each other lovingly.

The Next Morning

I awoke the next morning to the bright sunlight streaming through the naked window. Skip’s arm was in the same position as last night. I stragicaly removed myself without slightest interruption to his snores.

When I found the bathroom, I noticed the water hasn’t been turned on yet. Shifting from foot to foot, I pondered at my next move. I really really had to go! The only logical decision I could muster before my morning tea was going outside.

“It should be safe,” I thought. “There isn’t a neighbor for miles.”

I chose a spot outside by a tree and away from the house. “How charming,” I mused as I squatted to pee. “I’m adjusting to the country living right away. Skip will be proud of me.”

A dreaded feeling overtook me. I shuddered at the thought of someone watching me. Whipping my head around, I saw the same Giant just a few feet away from me with his trousers down to his ankles and jerking his monstrous cock while his eyes were fixated on me.

“SKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP”

 

[ariosto]

"TIFF BABY WHAT'S WRONG! I'M...."
Skip lept out of bed as though he'd taken a load of birdshot in his butt.
The double barrel 12 gauge he found in his face settled him right down fast,
"...coming dear...."

"She'll be fine I reckin Mister, Ol Eustice ain't done nothin but pull his porkchop in nigh on
27 years."
The saucy blonde girl holding the shotgun was wearing a short flouncy skirt over long bare legs and feet and had on a white low cut peasent's blouse that was chock full to overflowing. She looked and talked just like that character on Lil'Abner...
"Daisey Mae Hogg atcher service, tall an handsome.
I'm Eustice' kid sister. Maw ask me to drop by an make shore he din't kill ya'll in yore sleep."
She smiled...good teeth amazingly.

"SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

"Ummm Daisey that's my wife down there and I'd sort of like to see what's wrong."

Daisey jacked back the hammers on the lethal antique and pointed at the door.
"Shore, you go on, I'll folla you, jes ta make shore ya dont do no harm to poor Eustice."

 

[Turk-Rakker]

OOC...Ari said for me to bump this <wink>