Fan?

[macymadison]

When I get an email from someone who likes a story and takes the time to write and tell me, if there is an email address, I always write them and say thank you. So I wrote back to say thank you and this particular guy was asking me a lot of questions that started out as questions about story ideas but quickly turned personal. After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

 

[gunhilltrain]

When I get an email from someone who likes a story and takes the time to write and tell me, if there is an email address, I always write them and say thank you. So I wrote back to say thank you and this particular guy was asking me a lot of questions that started out as questions about story ideas but quickly turned personal. After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

You are under no obligation to tell them anything about your personal life.

Sometimes I get emails in which the return address is hidden. I try to respond if it is available. I always answer private messages. Sometimes if that goes on for too long - like more than a half-dozen back and forth responses, I may decide to give it a break.

 

[lovecraft68]

It depends. If its an e-mail that isn't much more than telling me best story ever or how many times they got off to it, no. If its hate mail no...but that very rarely has an e-mail to reply to.

if someone makes a good point or asks a question or there's some substance to it, I'll reply.

Because I don't list my gender here, and because I write some things from female POV-and one of my market pen names is female-I do end up getting what you did, starts off friendly, turns into have you ever fucked your...and that's when I stop replying.

The female pen name has given me some empathy for women go through on the internet. I've gotten more dick pics than I want to talk about.

 

[KeithD]

When it gets really personal (and sometimes it does), I tell them how old I am. That usually takes care of it.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I’ll generally answer emails which are polite, generally saying upfront that I’m not going to get into long correspondence. Jerks get ignored; outrageous jerks (like yours) get blocked and forgotten. It works out.

 

[PeytonMirabelle]

I’ll generally answer emails which are polite, generally saying upfront that I’m not going to get into long correspondence. Jerks get ignored; outrageous jerks (like yours) get blocked and forgotten. It works out.

Pretty much this. Respectful correspondence gets respectful answers. Others get nothing.

... does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

Expected? The internet being what it is, probably. Feel like you have to put it up with it? Absolutely not. Block, block, block.

 

[PoisonPen33]

I'll respond with a "thank you" and address/answer any comments they've made. Usually that's where it ends, but I've had some ongoing correspondence (3-4 emails). Nothing's gone beyond discussing stories.

 

[Bramblethorn]

When I get an email from someone who likes a story and takes the time to write and tell me, if there is an email address, I always write them and say thank you. So I wrote back to say thank you and this particular guy was asking me a lot of questions that started out as questions about story ideas but quickly turned personal. After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

Yeah, unfortunately that's fairly common, but that doesn't mean it should happen. It doesn't even have to be about erotica - I was involved in one conversation about parenting on How-To a while back, and some dude PMed me to respond to something I said there, and then when I replied he took that as an invitation to cyber.

It is perfectly fine and reasonable to be an erotica author with limits.

 

[SisterJezabel]

Welcome to the world of Lit! I try and be polite to people who contact me, but usually don't open myself up to answering their questions. Some people don't realise I write fiction either and will question me on my health and other such things, based on story lines.

I felt like telling someone who wrote to me asking if I needed a cuddle that my mother was more in their age bracket, but I probably wouldn't submit a reader to that ;-)

 

[HeyAll]

First and foremost, clearly the expectation is different for women. Horny guys are looking for a hot chat.

But yes, if there's an email I always write a note back.

Usually there's no reply. Sometimes there's a short exchange that fizzles out. That's the way it goes.

I know how it is because on twitter I've messaged my favorite writer (crime fiction) and I don't engage in long chats. No one really does that. It's awkward and there isn't much to say other than a simple thanks.

 

[KeithD]

Just checking: Everyone realizes that the Internet world treats Literotica as a porn site, right? Most cafes and hotel business centers and child check programs block it.

The ads, store, and a good many of the visual posts and avatars posted here support this--and that it's a hookup site. It sort of needs to be accepted that there are some users using it as a porn networking site. If that gives someone heartburn and they can't handle themselves and what they might receive in messages from here . . .

 

[ElectricBlue]

After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

Of course you can be an erotica writer with limits, and this guy is a twat if he thinks you wouldn't have them. He's out of order, not you.

I'll respond to anyone who sends private feedback and leaves their email address. That's just being courteous. But it's rare. Sometimes it moves to more than just a thank you, and becomes flirty, intimate, sexual. It takes two to tango, though, so there's no expectation. Just charm .

 

[MsNatalie99]

When I get an email from someone who likes a story and takes the time to write and tell me, if there is an email address, I always write them and say thank you. So I wrote back to say thank you and this particular guy was asking me a lot of questions that started out as questions about story ideas but quickly turned personal. After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

Unfortunately, on a site like this one, I'd say that it should be no surprise. I deal with this more often than I care to admit. That being said, just because it is to be expected, doesn't mean it's right. Whether you write erotic or have your own web cam site, your right to privacy should be the same as anyone else's. Guys like that suck because not only do they make you feel like trash, but the often ruin it for the next guy. It can quickly deter you from responding to fans like that.

My stories are written under a different more masculine name, a seriously gross one, so that no one talks to me about his kinks. I'm not suggesting that you do the same, because assholes shouldn't be asking how you like to fuck. They should be working on their supposedly sexless marriages. I have a rule about corresponding with people. If you give them one indication that they are crossing a line, and they ignore it, then block them. Otherwise, they will likely keep the conversation going until it gets ugly.

There are some seriously chill people on here. But just like anywhere else, you will find predators. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I don't know you, but I know you deserve better.

 

[macymadison]

Thank you

Thank you so much for all of the support and kind words. Considering my new pen name.....

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

When I get an email from someone who likes a story and takes the time to write and tell me, if there is an email address, I always write them and say thank you. So I wrote back to say thank you and this particular guy was asking me a lot of questions that started out as questions about story ideas but quickly turned personal. After telling him that I wouldn’t talk about my personal sex life, he blew up at me and said, “an erotica writer with limits”, like posting stories here means you don’t have the expectation of privacy?!? Do you write to fans? And if so, does it turn sexual in nature and should I have expected that?

I get that sometimes; if a query seems legit, i.e they're actually interested in the reasons I'm here or an opinion I've expressed in-forum I will reply, but gratuitous snooping and fishing to learn about me and my personal preferences and habits for their own gratification gets them a short note to read my profile (where I set out quite clearly and explicitly what I will and won't tolerate) and if they won't stick to my expectations, or try and shout me down with their expectations of what I should find appealing or consider fair game for the site, well, that's what I have an 'Ignore List' for.

Having said that, a few of the people who've contacted me in this way over the last 10 years or so have become long-term PM correspondents, they know my rules and boundaries and they adhere to them; the ones who push at the envelope get shunted off into the 'Ignore List' and forgotten. It's one strike and out with me.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

When it gets really personal (and sometimes it does), I tell them how old I am. That usually takes care of it.

When I grow up, I want to be just like you.