F*** off - alternatives

scheherazade_79 said:
Does anyone else out there have any local insults they'd care to share?
The original, but shortened to 'koff!

Eat shit, dick-head!

Didn't the other brain cell wake up this morning?

Eff
 
Eat shit and bark at the moon.

The best part of you dribbled down your mothers leg.

If I had a dog that looked like you I would shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards.

Did anyone ever tell your mother the abortion didn't take?

(Over heard in a bar when a guy tried to pick up a woman.) I just have to tell you Lorena Bobbit is my hero.

You have your head so far up your ass I'm surprised you haven't vanished.

You make a (Pick your favorite vegetable) look smart.

Has anyone ever told you your family tree didn't fork?

You make a good case for God having a sense of humor.

Does your mother know you're out this late?

You're about as usefull as a fart in a hurricane.

(Over heard on a plane.) Oh go play outside.

Now for my all time favorite.
Damn, I knew we forgot to add Chlorine to the gene pool.

Cat
 
"Let's kill it before it breeds." ~ one of my best friend's remarks to me after a loser asked her to dance.
 
If I throw a stick will you go away?

If pigs could fly, you'd be a 747.

You have an intellect that surely rivals some of the finest... garden tools.

Been surfing in Nebraska again, haven't you?
 
At-work insults are the only ones I get to hear:

Go find your desk.

Are you still talking?

If I wanted your opinion I'd pull it out of your ass.

What color are your pants? (used to throw off my colorblind boss)

Shut up, ya whiney bitch! (delivered to the boss by my husband, causing everyone to laugh till they couldn't breathe)
 
Sit on my middle digit and fucking swivel pond scum.

Get over it sperm bubble.

Carl
 
Carl East said:
Sit on my middle digit and fucking swivel pond scum.
Carl
Or the visual equivalent: hold up middle finger, then one single word: "Rotate!"

Eff
 
Look everyone! Living proof that butt fucking works!

Proof positive that you can only get so full of shit before it starts to run out your mouth.

Classic case of diarreah of the mouth and constipation of the brain.
 
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