Excuses?

[Guest]

 

[CharleyH]

We 'USE' excuses to get though life, each and every one of us.

 

[Sunnie]

A tragedy is not, and should not be, an excuse for treating others with contempt or disdain.

VERY well said, I completely agree.

Just because your life is shit, doesn't mean you have the right to make other people miserable.

 

[Dar~]

A friend of mine has here mother living on their property but in a seperate house. They pay for everything b/c she is "unable" to work. She has fibromyalgia. She constantly complains and gripes about every thing, but the gov't decided that she is capable of work and won't give her disability. I also have seen her do things b/c someone told her to wait and she is too impatient. It ticks me off the most b/c my mom has fibromyalgia so bad that the state and the hoospital she works in have both begged her to get on disability but she can't bear the thought of staying at home. She has worked her whole life. So she continues being a CNA and is damned good. I hate when people make other people's lives more difficult. Right now this woman is living off her daughter and son in law's one income family (with two kids) he is a staff seargent in the Airforce. They make shit money. On top of that, She has SIX dogs and my friend is buying the food for these animals. it ticks me off for them.

 

[SeaCat]

received a phone call from the Real Estate Agent in charge of the house I'm moving into at the end of the month. She was rather short and was demanding to know where the additional money was. When I asked her what money she was talking about she informed me that according to the lease I had signed I owed another $1000.00. It took a few question on my part and a great deal of patience but I finally found out only half of the deposite I had paid to the Agent I was renting through had been forewarded to her. I informed her that I would be tracking this problem down, even though it truly wasn't my problem. (The check had cleared and I had the receipts as well as the bank records.)

I then callled the agent who I had paid the deposite to and asked him about the money not being forwarded as per the lease. He answered that I had only paid $1000.00 not the two thousand I was supposed to have paid and therefore owed the money. I was quiet for about two minutes as I counted backwards from one hundred, in German. I then informed him that I was going to be moving into the house at the begining of the month, and that the money I had paid him would be accounted for by the end of today or he would be getting a little visit from the Police. (If I wasn't under a time table I wouldn't have said anything, just called the State Attorny Generals Office.) Somehow the money was found and sent to the Agent for the landlord. Amazing what you can do with a little patience, good record keeping, and a really nasty disposition.

Cat

 

[Stella_Omega]

damn, SeaCat, I just BET your halo was smoking!
Congratulations on coming out on top. are you calling SAG anyway?

 

[SeaCat]

damn, SeaCat, I just BET your halo was smoking!
Congratulations on coming out on top. are you calling SAG anyway?

You better believe I am, especially considering the landlords agent had already sent out a registered letter today about this. As soon as I receive the letter I will be calling the State AG about this. (As far as I'm concerned it is fraud as well as theft.)

Cat

 

[scheherazade_79]

I spend all my working days trying to combat the "My life is shit, so now I'm going to make yours equally shit) philosophy in kids. It's amazing how often people excuse completely obnoxious behaviour, which I think does the kid (or adult) a lot of harm in the long run.

I know it wasn't possible in your case, Lilred, but it's a lot better to have a quiet word with the person and tell them that if they keep being mean to other people, they're going to end up really lonely in the longrun. Sometimes people don't even realise they're being rude, or abrupt, or impatient.

A good phrase to use is -
"When you said / did X, it made me feel really upset. Did you mean to make me feel this way?"

 

[pop_54]

Unfortunately modern society panders to these obnoxious shites who go through life thinking the world owes them and they can behave as they please, and it does this with the all singing all dancing political correctness approach... When the evil little shite who batters an old lady half to death to steal her pension money eventually winds up in court, what do we hear... Not, "send the twat away for 100 yrs"... But, "Oh dear, you can't really punish him, I mean his mummy tore his teddy bear up when he was 5 and it left him so dysfunctional", or some such crap.

Like Sea Cat everyone should turn a bit forceful to uphold their rights, but no excuse what-so-ever for going through life acting that way or taking advantage.

Everyone seems to think these people are strong willed and balanced, they aren't, they're weak willed and can't handle real life so need to bluff their way through it... like all bullies, stand up to them and they are f**ked because they don't have an answer to that.

 

[wishfulthinking]

Understanding why someone acts the way they do and accepting their behaviour towards you is 2 separate things. Let them treat you like that once, and you will forever be a doormat for them, particularly in a law office. When they come to see a lawyer, that's when someone needs to tell them they have to shoulder some/all the responsibility and get the courage to do what needs to be done.

Yeah, saying to someone "I find that what you are saying to me is really offensive etc" in an even tone takes the winds out of sails about 8/10 times. The other 2, you tried, then feel free to offend them back.

 

[R. Richard]

A client was really snippy on the phone with me today, and I did what I usually do, which is suck it up and respond nicely. When I told my boss about it, she said the client is having a tough time, her husband left her when their baby was a few months old and she's got post-partum depression on top of that (the kid's over a year old now).

The other attorney in our office said about another local attorney who is notorious for lies to magistrates, judges, and opposing counsel, and for resorting to any underhanded tactics she can, that she just couldn't stay mad at this other attorney knowing that years ago her child had died.

Both of these things are awful, and not something I would wish on someone. Nonetheless, bad things happening to you are not an excuse for bad behavior. A tragedy is not, and should not be, an excuse for treating others with contempt or disdain.

I feel that you are being unfair to the client to whom you refer. You have not even considered the possibilty that the person calling you was an imposter. I would have said, "Look, I don't know who you are, but you are certainly not Mrs. Client. Mrs. Client is a lady and would never deal with me in this totally inappropriate way. You should be ashamed of yourself for inpersonating Mrs. Client. Goodbye!"

Now, doesn't that give you a warm feeling? You have shut down an imposter and defended a client!

 

[lil_elvis]

My biggest client ran a blue streak at me because we had to remake a product for him (the color came out wrong). He didn't want to know or understand that when you make things, sometimes shit happens (equipment breaks, computers malfunction, whatever). Called me a "fucking liar."

I told him I was hanging up before I said anything I'd regret and to call me back when he was ready to discuss how we could best find a solution. I'd never done anything like that before and had heart palpatations for a few minutes after hanging up. He called back in 15 minutes or so, apologized and we worked it out.

Since then, whenever we've had problems, when he calls, we're polite with each other and concentrate on fixing things rather going on abusive rants.

 

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