Even I couldn't Write this Shit

[Jenny_Jackson]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15737511/

Nobody move or the one on the right gets it, too

Would-be kidnapper shoots own left testicle
WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said.

The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.

When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.

The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said.

 

[SeaCat]

Justice is served? Too bad the second shot missed his balls as well.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

Oh baruther!

You have to wonder how a person like this could live long enough to do this sort of thing.

 

[R. Richard]

At least the 23-year-old man needs to be put to death without trial. We don't need those genes in the gene pool.

JMNTHO.

 

[3113]

Oh baruther!

You have to wonder how a person like this could live long enough to do this sort of thing.

If this keeps him from having kids...is it a Darwin award?

 

[rgraham666]

If this keeps him from having kids...is it a Darwin award?

Nah. You have to die to get a Darwin award.

This man didn't. And he didn't destroy all the equipment required for kids either.

Pity.

 

[SweetPrettyAss]

At least the 23-year-old man needs to be put to death without trial. We don't need those genes in the gene pool.

JMNTHO.

At least some of those genes were blown away. Maybe he will have to be castrated. Then he might be able to qualify for the Darwin award.

 

[SweetPrettyAss]

Nah. You have to die to get a Darwin award.

This man didn't. And he didn't destroy all the equipment required for kids either.

Pity.

I don't think you have to die. Just getting castrated shoud be enough since it removes a man's genes from the pool.

 

[rgraham666]

I don't think you have to die. Just getting castrated shoud be enough since it removes a man's genes from the pool.

Checked the rules. You're right.

He still doesn't qualify though. He has an intact testicle.

Drat.

 

[R. Richard]

I don't think you have to die. Just getting castrated shoud be enough since it removes a man's genes from the pool.

Yeah, but if he lives they might someday clone him.

 

[human_male]

That's what happened to me. Cept with a ferret.

*waves*

 

[Guest]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15737511/

Nobody move or the one on the right gets it, too

Would-be kidnapper shoots own left testicle
WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said.

The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.

When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.

The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said.

Classic.

 

[cumallday]

I used to have an opinion on gun control - now I'm not so sure.

 

[SweetPrettyAss]

Yeah, but if he lives they might someday clone him.

Who would want to?

 

[Seattle Zack]

Gotta give it up for the news editor there, that's the headline of the year.

(And editors get so little recognition) ...

 

[R. Richard]

Quote:
Originally Posted by R. Richard
Yeah, but if he lives they might someday clone him.

Who would want to?

No one sane!

 

[arienette]

Oh that's hilarious!

 

[Guest]

I really think there needs to be a new law people can be charged with. "Too stupid to reproduce". If found guilty, you have to be sterilized, any children you've already fathered have to be sterilized, and you are forbidden to ever adopt (to take care of that whole nature/nurture thing).

Surviving children of Darwin Award winners should probably be sterilized too.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I really think there needs to be a new law people can be charged with. "Too stupid to reproduce". If found guilty, you have to be sterilized, any children you've already fathered have to be sterilized, and you are forbidden to ever adopt (to take care of that whole nature/nurture thing).

Surviving children of Darwin Award winners should probably be sterilized too.

you can't win the Darwin award if you've had children though.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

My favorite story concerned a Brazilian man who sawed off his penis with a circular saw.

Apparently, he often used his saw to saw wood he held in his lap. It was described as his "hobby".

Other news on the Penis Front:

Pulling In Fremont, California, Iron Crotch Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng used his penis to pull a rental truck several yards. In preparation for this feat, the man Kung Fu magazine called “a consummate artist, a shining wise warrior and a master of his own universe” had one of his assistants repeatedly kick his crotch for 10 minutes. “He’s very special. Powerful. Superman,” said an awestruck Shawnee Wang, who studies with Jin-Sheng at his gym in Cupertino.

Eating Apparently distraught over his erectile dysfunction, a man performed an auto-penectomy, and then ate his business. Ernesto Almonte, a Filipino man, wound up in stable condition at the Zamboanga City Medical Center in the southern Philippines.

Lifting A 55-year-old Chinese man lifted a 75 kg (165-pound) barbell for 10 seconds with his wang. The man said the skill is a branch of kung fu that is exclusive to his family, and that his father taught him the skill to help him get fit after a serious illness when he was 18.

Reconstituting A Russian urologist successfully reconstituted a coffinmaker’s penis after it was cut into six pieces by a circular saw.

Growing Also from Russia, another leap forward in urogenital surgery: A 30-year-old man grew a replacement penis on his arm until it was ready to be moved back to his crotch. The man, whose name was changed in the original Russian news article to protect his privacy, had a defect from birth — his penis was crooked, two-and-a-half inches long and lacked a scrotum.

Injecting Thailand’s Health Ministry released an official public warning earlier this year to the growing number of men (and, in some cases, schoolchildren) who were injecting their penises with olive oil, paraffin and Vaseline. In Southeast Asia, the practice is thought to increase size and stamina. “It can actually cause horrible deformities or cancer,” said Dr. Chatri Banchuin, chief of the Department of Medical Services.

http://www.laweekly.com/general/lists/recent-penis-related-activities/13315/

 

[rgraham666]

(Squirms uncomfortably in chair at reading dr_m's post)