Erotic Lit for Women! Must read!

[anonymouslover1]

Hello members and guests of this forum,

I am an inspriing author, focusing primarily on Adult Literature.

I have recently created a blog devoted to erotic stories for women, and would greatly appreciate feed back from men and women alike.

If you are interested and willing, please visit my blog, and if you have the time, leave me a comment, or send me a message, letting me know what you think.

http://eroticlitforwomen.blogspot.com/

I deeply thankful for any insight that can be given, or even for a simple view of my blog.

- Anonymous Lover

 

[driphoney]

Well, I really think of your blog's short piece as second-person. It can be tricky to make work, and a lot of folks don't like it no matter what. Thanks for asking for feedback and allowing me to scrutinize it. As a person who's done one, I like to see how others do it.

Here's my problem with it, you're writing it to affect women, that's the title of your blog, but you have your first person, the male, describe how she looks, or rather 'you', er, as the reader, that would be me. I frankly don't care how I look, just how I make you feel. I want to know how crazy you are for me, how you're throbbing, think you're going to explode, how I turn you inside out ... that sort of thing. And you don't need to tell me how I'm feeling, I'll pretty much do that myself, if you get it right. I want to know how feeling/seeing me makes you feel. You see my wet back ... what does that do to you?

Also, this just made me smile, I'm the queen of typos and misapplied words, but you might want to change in your description of yourself the word 'inspiring' to 'aspiring'. I mean, you probably are inspiring to many, but ....