Erection Issues

[Tooquick]

Okay . . .been married 17 years and the dreaded divorce is happening. I am 39 and my wife and I were fairly active 1 to 2 times a week and we had a rythym where she would almost always orgasam pre sex and sometimes during but it took pressure of me because I was not a 10 minute man. I am actually in really great physical shape and I dont smoke, drink very little, only vice is coffee.

So here I am with a new partner and I am having anxiety issues and performance issues. I want to last longer but my bigger problem is with my wife I could go a second time in 30 minutes or so and I cant get going a second time with my new partner although it has been only 2 times so far. The first time I couldnt really get hard, the next time we had sex for a minute, then I couldnt regain my erection.

Are there any proven supplements that work? Any thoughts that can help me along we have a great connection and I want the sex to be great too. We have spent an increbible amount of time in bed, petting, kissing, ect . . .10 hours 1 day, 5 hours twice and 4 hours once but I dont think she has cum yet or atleast not told me.

One other issue is she doesnt have tons of experience. Any thoughs suggestions would be great.

 

[wickedlady31]

hmm

If she doesn't have a lot of experience then you are gonna be fine. Who is she going to compare you to??
Supplements have side effects, keep that in mind.
Using meds to get an erection will work...but your issue is clearly all in your head. Having a new partner can certainly strike anxiety. The best way to get over that hump is to talk about it with her. Focus on foreplay with no intentions of intercourse and see where that goes.

 

[southernsky]

I dated a man who had an average erection time of 25 seconds when we actually started having sex. I DID NOT CARE. Do you want to know WHY I didn't care?

The man was a genius sent from heaven at oral sex. He knew that he would not pleasure me (except from pleasure derived from seeing him cum) during intercourse, so our "sex" consisted of lots and lots of pussy eating, 69-ing, starting and stopping oral on him, and I was so satisfied by the time i had dick in my pussy that i could not have cared any less how long he lasted.

Moral of the story which I keep repeating in hopes that one day every man will believe and take to heart and use foreplay to get his lady to cum instead of worrying about his penis and only his penis is: please do not assume that she believes and that it is necessary to use your penis and only your penis the majority of the time during any sex session. "Sex" should mean the set of activities that make you both feel very satisfied, and if that means she gets oral and you get some oral back and then fuck her for a couple minutes or less, if that satisfies you both, it's still sex. Don't close your mind to possibilities because you are looking for a medical way to enhance your erection. That's what your fingers, mouth, icecubes, small candles, dirty talk, massage lotion, lingerie, role-playing, etc. is for. Now go have some fun.

 

[wickedlady31]

ha

Well put. Amen! Foreplay is the key!

 

[emptynester]

Wow is right - well said Southernsky!

 

[borg3of4]

SouthernSky is right. It's what you do before and after that counts.
Some women have difficulty achieving orgasm through intercourse alone anyhow. No big deal either way. There are plenty of other ways to make everyone happy. If she has already had orgasm one before you even start
it's all downhill after that. Just relax and enjoy.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Anxiety issues, there you have it. you think it's gonna happen, so it does. I just went through a period of insane stress and had a few issues, not really with erection, but just with desire. Still, the more I worried about that, the more it became an issue. Just go with the flow, let whatever happens happen. Talk to your partner, and when she says not to worry about it, believe her! That's the hardest part, but also the way to get through it. Once you start believing that she is satisfied wiht whatever you can give, then you'll stop stressing, and chances are y ou'll stop having difficulties.

It sounds really simple, but it is that easy. Take it form someone who has been through it. Good luck!