Epic Challenge, anyone?

[BooMerengue]

I don't know anything about epic poems except that if I like them I love them. Anyone else feel that way? Shall we try an exercise? Someone else can set the number of verses (how many makes it an epic?). Do we suggest a topic?

 

[The_Fool]

Shit. I don't know if I can even write poetry anymore...

 

[Bedazzler]

~ An epic ~ about the Bay Primeval ~ it might work ~

 

[Liar]

I'm almost scared to ask; what precisely is an epic poem?

#Liar

 

[OT]

I'm almost scared to ask; what precisely is an epic poem?

#Liar

I was just going to ask the same question.
According to my handy-dandy dictionary, an Epic is:
"An extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a legendary or traditional hero"


the hero part I get. Dignified language?? Yikes. sounds scary.

 

[BooMerengue]

What is an epic poem?

Someone else gave me this definition. It's a good one. Basically a really long rhyming poem that tells a story.

 

[champagne1982]

I'm about halfway through the writing of my response to this challenge. LOL! I may have to break it up into 2 parts it's getting so unweildy.

 

[BooMerengue]

Oh hell, Champ! I forgot mine cuz there wasn't much response and I didn't think anyone was writing one! Oh hell!

IS anyone else writing one? And when is it due? *kicking the cat,,,sheeeeeeeeeeesh!!!

 

[champagne1982]

My epic

Temptation's Dance

One summer eve a dark lover came into his sterile room,
She waited in the purple glow, there in the twilight gloom.
She bared her breast to tempt him forth, to his waiting doom,
The three fates cackle as they weave a shroud upon time's living loom.

A golden knot that binds him to then and times to come.
A history of familial ties and tales of where he's from.
The rich tapestry of a learned soul that death would soon strike dumb,
Tying the string of fate, upon the harp, that a goddess's fingers strum.

"Be mine," she said, as the wind whipped through the black tendrils of her hair.
"You're worthy of my attention," she hissed, "Come with me to my lair."
Too late he'd realized that this twisted answer to his prayer,
Was a serpent, dark and sinuous, and not the asked for maiden, fair.

Could one observe the sordid scene without placing needless blame?
How could you see the twisted sight and later, be the same?
He sold his soul for other than treasure, not time nor love nor fame.
He sold his soul for pittance, he lost it in a game.

"A wager," he begged, "I cannot just go. 'Tis my life you seek to take,
"I've got loves to love and songs to sing and promises to break.
"Give me a chance to sate my hunger. Unless you fear to make,
"A wager on a worthless soul. If not, I see you're fake."

She answered with an evil grin, a sharp-fanged, vicious smile,
"I have but one condition, if we journey your offered mile,
"I only have this sweet midnight, so we can only play a while..."
She licked her lips and breathed a sigh and focused all her guile.

"A wager," she said, "We'll play a game! Not cards or games of chance,
"I'll use my talent to win your soul. My talent in the dance."
Her eyes lit up with demon fire and he looked at her askance,
"Oh, yes, dear man! Be concerned. Death waits there, with his lance."

"Watching the dance, will be your part, in our bit of fun,
"If I cannot make you respond, well, then I guess you've won.
"But you must remember to claim your prize before the rising sun.
"And grant me that I have 'til then, before our wager's done."

"If I should win, I have your soul, to do with what I will.
"The converse is true, if you should win, of me you take your fill."
He sat there stunned a moment, and worked the odds until,
He nodded in agreement, if he lost, he'd pay the bill.

"Now watch!" She hissed and rolled her ass in the the rhythm of the beat,
She slipped her silken veils down and pressed him to his seat.
She watched him with her glowing eyes as she bared his wagered treat,
The vision of her round, milky breast was the first his eyes would meet.

She leaned down, close to his lips and watched his smoke-gray eyes,
Not really thinking that with this test she'd see a stirring at his thighs,
So she twirled away and in the fog, donned a sweet, fresh, virgin guise,
But not even this would entice the man or earn his coveted sighs.

A wanton pout, on rich full lips and the offer of her kiss,
Didn't rouse emotions or a the sibilant sigh of a needful lover's hiss,
She danced the dance of demons' desires and showed him what he'd miss,
If he denied his burning need and turned away from bliss.

Still he denied her victory all through her sweaty toils,
He was growing confident that he would be the reaper of the spoils.
She strived hard to enrapture him within her twisted coils,
For on the horizon of the sea the dawn's morning sunrise boils.

He gloated at the demon as he said, "I think you're mine,
"This dance is declared over and too soon the sun will shine,
"So grant me that I may drink of my passion's fruity wine,
"Give me what I've won this night. On your charms, I choose to dine."

She looked at him through her hair, hung shyly over her face,
And with an ageless style accepted his claim with an immortal grace,
She gave to him a shadowed soul, transcending time and space,
And as his seed rose through his prick she hastened hie his pace.

He poured out the darkness of his soul and claimed what was his right.
With heaving hips and grasping hands, she taught him damned delight.
The angels wept and demons crowed when they heard he'd lost the fight.
Temptation's mistress had him now, there in that pre-dawn night.

She howled to the moon and laughed with glee, humored by his look,
"My mortal dear, you've lost, you see? It's all written in time's book,
"Remember that I have 'til dawn? That's the wager that you took.
"With pleasure I feel your response and now you're on my hook."

So, mortal men, please listen closely, to my urgent plea,
When a temptress dances lewd dark lust and bends down at your knee,
Don't think you've won when she tells of her love, you haven't. Don't you see?
Turn away and run and don't look back. Hurry, quickly. Flee!

 

[BooMerengue]

Thats fucking awesome, Champ! Guess now I have to dig mine out...

Roses for you!

 

[Guest]

Wow! Impressive champagne!

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks for your appreciation ladies. I hope there are others out there who remain undaunted by the epic proportions of this challenge. Come out and play all of you closet-rhymers.

For another example of an epic poem check out Halloween Bill

Comments on these and others are more than welcome by the way

 

[BooMerengue]

OK! I didn't think there'd be any response, so I didn't get to work on the one I wanted. I'm going to try and finish it, but we all know how that goes...

I wrote this as a joke one night while taking some bizarre mushrooms in my tea! It was never intended to be a masterpiece- and it isn't!! It's a sort of Twisted Female Revenge Thingy...

But here it is...

SmackDown On Sleazy Street

A Woman sat, bored in a hotel lobby
When she was struck with an idea!
She ran to the dock; saw a good lookin' Swabbee,
And said " Hey Boy, come heah!"

He came arunnin and said "Yes, Ma'am!
She tucked her finger 'neath his chin...
and said "Would you sleep with me tonight?
His answer a boyish grin!

She said "Well then son, come along!
We have a ways to walk!
Unless you'd rather shuffle your feet,
And stand all night in talk!"

They headed North up Sleazy Street
She had a stop to make.
With a wicked grin she said to him
"Would you, Sir, please to wait?"

She stepped inside and glanced around
And walked straight to the clerk.
She whispered in his ear a bit
And he went straight to work.

He finally found her heart's desire
Aand placed it in a sack.
She went outside to her Swabbee boy
And gave his ass a smack!

"Step lively son!" she said to him,
"For it'll soon be dark!
And what I've planned for you and me
Is quite a wicked lark!"

He didn't care; he was dumb struck
That such a beguiling piece
Would want to take him home to fuck!
His eagerness increased!

They reached her room on Sleazy Street.
They opened up the door.
He looked around and then looked back;
Her clothes were on the floor!

He dropped his jaw; she dropped his pants!
He looked at her and smiled!
She pulled off all his other clothes
And her blue eyes sparkled wild!

She laid him out upon the bed,
And gave him wine to drink.
A potent wine; a deep dark red.
His eyes began to blink.

The room began to sway.
His blood began to boil.
She nestled her curves into him,
His cock a flaccid coil.

One gentle hand began to stroke;
The other feeding wine.
It wasn't long before he felt
There was something on her mind.

He turned to her to ask her;
She rolled him on his tummy.
"What I have planned for both of us
I hope will turn out yummy!

So enamored was the boy
He told her he was hers.
She dimmed the lights, the room was glowing;
The ambience was bliss!

She reached into her sack so slow
And pulled her present out.
He gave a gasp, he stared in awe;
He was too weak to shout!

For there before him on the bed
Laid a sight he'd never seen!
He soon began to dread her plan
But was too weak too speak.

He looked at her, her strange blue eyes
Watching him so close.
"What do you like my Lady Mine
That has you watch me so?"

" I want to try a thing quite new
Of which I've never heard;
You see this thing has equal heads;
I think they're his and hers!"

"For years men have rear ended me,
Regardless of my wishes!
I'll quick return the favor now,
For you might find it delicious."

She reached into a table drawer
And found a certain tube.
Reaching for her brand new toy
She covered it with lube.

"Kneel up my son, she said to him.
"Get up onto all fours."
He did her bidding slowly now,
Alookin towards the door!

The toy she had in her tiny hands
Was really quite unique.
It twas a dildo, true enough.
But his knees became so weak!

For there before his frightened eyes
Gleaming hugely in the dark
Was a double headed dildo
Looking for a place to park!

She smiled at him, and oh! so slow
She slid it in his ass!
His hole slammed tight, and when it did
He heard her give a laugh!

"Payback is a bitch, my son
A lesson you will learn!"
She twisted it, and pushed it more,
And his ass began to burn.

It filled him up; it made him cry.
She backed it up a bit,
She said "Oh please don't cry my son!
For there is more of it!"

Again she slid it, deeper now,
Til it went in by half.
And then she turned herself around
And gave a little laugh.

Now she too was on her knees
And backing up to him.
She took her new toy in her hand
And placed it on her rim.

She said "You see, I'm used to this.
I always try to please
You Swabbee boys from off your ships
You coming straight to me!"

"Do this for me; do that to me!
Always a command!
Well, Swabbee boy, it's my turn now
For us gals to make a stand!"

She eased herself back on him;
Her end went in with ease.
But she could feel him shudder
As his end began to squeeze...

Deeper in the dildo went,
Nowhere for him to turn.
She took another swig of wine
And said "Now you will learn!"

She leaned back on him harder;
(it felt quite good to her!)
And then she started rocking
And fucking him for sure!!

His thighs began to quiver,
His lips were quivering, too!
"Oh hush it boy" she said so harsh,
"For we're nowhere near through!"

His asshole was on fire,
His dignity was gone.
He thought "Why did she pick one
That was so frigging long!"

His head laid on the pillow;
His ass high in the air.
His mind began to frizzle
From sensations to him rare.

The pain was overwhelming
The dildo stabbing deep
He thought that he was all filled up
When her ass gave a leap...

And slammed into him further!
Then he began to sob
Which was the worst thing he could do!
For she truly loved this job!

She said "We need a rhythm
For this thing to work.
When I push back, you slide up!
That ain't right, you jerk!"

"I've seen you on this street before
A lookin for a whore!
Well, baby, you have found one now
That can't take anymore!

"So I've decided, for no fee
to show you what it's like
When you young studs come thru my door
And tell me what I like!"

"So get your ass in line with mine
and lean back cheek to cheek!
When I slide forward, so do you
And this will be so sleek!"

He tried to do as he was told.
But his cheek would not reach hers
For the dildo was too long, you see.
(He wondered about hers!)

She said "Oh yes, it will fit nice
Just wait and you will see!"
And she slammed back into him again
And her legs hooked his knees.

"You're not gonna leave here son,
Until you see my point.
So use the tool you have in you
And fuck me like I woint!" (poetic license here)

He ground his teeth; he clenched his fist
But nothing changed the fact
That he was gonna take this thing
And finish up the act.

So he took a breath and shoved his ass
Slammin into hers!
He thought 'I'll give her what she wants
And I will see her tears!'

But lo! she realized just in time
That he had changed his mind.
She slammed her ass back into his
And he began to whine!

But they kept on; back and forth
Til a good rhythm was found.
When she went south, he went north
And round and round and round.

"It feels right nice to me!" she said.
Would that he could say the same.
The more he tried to do her bid
The more he cringed in pain!

Slap! it went when their cheeks met!
Slurp as they moved apart.
Slap and slurp and slap and slurp
Til he thought it'd stop his heart!

His head flush on the headboard,
Not too bad when they went Slap!
But when it came time to slurp again
The headboard he would Whack!

From tip to toes and side to side
He was a different man
Then the one who passed her door this night
Not knowing her evil plan!

On and on it went that night!
He could not quite relax.
He had seen men silenter than he
When placed upon the racks!

He knew his ass was ruined;
He knew his pride was shot!
He was wondering where he could hide
When he realized she was hot!!

"Keep at it boy!" she screamed aloud.
"The night is young, you see!
I'm cumming now; I'll cum again!
Perhaps I'll make it three!"

Suddenly her elbow slipped,
Her chin, it followed thru.
It didn't slow her up a bit-
She pulled him to the floor.

He thought it was all over!
He thought that she was done!
But she grabbed his by now ragged ass
And turned him back around!

Grinning wide, and patting him
She put the play toy back
Up inside his ass again!
"Oh God-Cut me some slack!"

But nope- she had made up her mind
To finish up the job
Tho she did feel just a wee bit sad
That his innocence she'd robbed!

He thought it would be easier
Here upon her rug.
But after awhile he noticed the pile
On his skin began to tug!

A little at first, And then a lot!
His elbows and his knees
Were fast becoming very hot!
But she gave him no ease!

Slap! and Slurp! Slurp and Slap!
They continued on their way!
Scooting right across the rug
Leaving skin along the way!

Their cheeks, they met then slurped apart.
When suddenly she screamed!
"The second cumming's on it's way,
So give it all you got!!

He slammed! He slapped! He Slurped! He Slid!
He gave it all he could!
When suddenly to his surprise
It started to feel good!!!

He felt his thighs atingle
He felt his groin go hot!
His cock was pointed at the floor
When suddenly it shot!

He screamed in pain and pleasure!
She joined him in his shout!
They each gave one more Slap and Slurp
And with that the toy fell out.

They laid down gasping heart's arace!
Silently, for once.
And then she sat up, breathing hard
And said "Look at your face!"

He tried to rise and fell back down;
His asshole screamed in pain!
She looked at him and smiled soft.
"Come on- lay down again."

She went and got a hot towel
And a baggie full of ice.
She found a box of band aids
And a bottle of gin to suffice.

She approached him on her tiptoes
His sobbing she could hear.
Gently she patted his sweet cheeks.
"You did real good, my dear!"

"I know that you don't feel good.
I've felt the same myself.
But it will soon be forgotten
And you'll be your own sweet self.

But now I have to help you
As my girlfriends did for me.
But you'll have to be brave me Swabbee boy
For the treatment isn't sweet."

With that she spread his cheeks apart
And gently touched his rim.
"This doesn't look good, you were tight!"
And she applied the gin.

His heart stopped! His mind roiled!
His asshole was aflame!!
"Let's just see that that’s cleaned up"
She told her handsome swain.

And then he felt the hot towel,
And his fear was quite abated.
When she held the ice pack to him
He almost felt elated! (almost)

For when he stood to walk again,
It wasn't quite so bad.
He limped stiff legged to the mirror
And he found himself most sad!

His handsome face was missing
In it's place a pugilists.
From the banging on the headboard
To the biting of his lips.

His chin, it looked like hamburger
The carpet was quite rough.
And his elbows and his knobby knees
Were looking just as tough.

She sat him down and bandaged him
Being gentle as can be.
From top to toe she wrapped him
Every bloody place she'd see.

And then when she was finished
She helped him in his clothes
All the while he was crying
And sniffling in his nose.

When he was dressed she told him
To come back anytime!
He looked at her in horror!
Had she quite lost her mind?

"Oh come on; you know you loved it!
You slurped and slapped with the best!
Well maybe, then, not right away.
But you finished up with zest!"

He headed towards her oaken door
He couldn't look in her eyes.
"Oh wait, my love, no hurry
For I have for you a prize!"

She busied in the bathroom
And came out with a sack.
She gave it to him gracefully
And said you're welcome back.

He started as in fear and said
"Oh no, Ma'am! T'won't be me
For after this I've made my mind-
I'm goin out to sea!"

Well that made her grin bigger!
"Well then, I saved you just in time!
For you can find a bunkmate
And have a jolly time!"

He turned around real slowly
And goat legged to the door.
She put the sack in his trembling hands
And winked at him once more!

"Well, let me tell you something Swabbee boy!
As you visit your foreign ports!"
She smacked him smartly on the ass!
"Be nicer to your whores!!"


Please! (as I sit here laughing stupidly yet again!) Comment away! You CAN'T hurt my feelings over this one!

 

[champagne1982]

Originally posted by BooMerengue
[...] Please! (as I sit here laughing stupidly yet again!) Comment away! You CAN'T hurt my feelings over this one!

Boo! Oh my! Were those psil·o·cy·bin or "silly simon" mushrooms? LOL!

 

[Ravishing]

Please! (as I sit here laughing stupidly yet again!) Comment away! You CAN'T hurt my feelings over this one!

Although I'm new here, *smiles* I found I had to comment. Interesting doesn't cut it as a reply comment to this one. But well deserved does.

 

[BooMerengue]

sitting waay over there in the corner giggling... ty ty ty!

 

[BooMerengue]

On Christmas Eve Grammy mistakenly left the youngest boy's very new cool Tonka Bike where it was seen by him and his brother. All hell ensued. I convinced them that Mommy was hiding the bike for a friend but Tristan- age 4- was devastated. Boomer- at not yet 3, was given a candy cane and was ok. When Mommy found out she and T sat down to write Santa even tho it was very late and Santa had probably already left his workshop. The boys were put to bed- a red bike was found, and Santa left this letter!
Tho not quite an epic, it is long, it does rhyme, and it depicts an actual event!


Dear Tristan,

I heard you wishing very hard
I always try to please!
I hurried back to my workshop
And got down on my knees!

My workshop elves were all asleep
They’d finished all their chores!
But when I hollered “hey! wake up!”
I silenced all the snores!

My elves jumped straight up out of bed!
They said “What do you need?”
I told them I had heard your wish
And they went to work with speed!

Two tires here; handle bars there!
A handbreak but no horn!
And right before my eyes, my friend
A bicycle was born!

The bike was finished! Shiny new!
I looked at it real close.
And just as I was packing it
I felt a wet, cold nose!

I turned around and jumped for joy!
The wet cold nose was RED!
Rudolph smiled and bucked and reared-
“It’s not done!” he said.

“Why not?” I said- “Looks done to me!”
and watched as the elves gathered ‘round
And listening to them really close
I heard a magic sound!

The elves were singing The Magic Song!
And circling ‘round the room.
They stomped their feet and waved their hands
And then I heard a “Boom!”

They’d sprinkled Magic Dust, you see
All ‘round and ‘round your bike!
And they did something special here
Something I think you’ll like!

Rudolph touched it with his nose
The red paint glowed and glowed!
He wanted you to see your bike
Even if it snowed!

When you get going really fast
Be careful when you try
to jump your brother’s ramps because
This red bike just might fly!

That Magic Dust is wild stuff
You never really know
Exactly what it will do next
So go a little slow!

I hear that you’ve been pretty good
So I wanted to give you
The thing you wished the hardest for!
Your wishing has come true!

I have to go now, Little One!
I have other jobs to do!
But Merry Christmas, Tristan Boy!
And Happy New Year’s, too!”

Love,

SANTA CLAUS

December 24, 2003

 

[Angeline]

^

*

 

[BooMerengue]

Ange? What did you delete from this?

 

[Trent_Dutch]

What is an epic poem?

Someone else gave me this definition. It's a good one. Basically a really long rhyming poem that tells a story.

An Epic doesn't need to rhyme. Look at Paradise Lost, or The Faerie Queen, or The Iliad. The important aspect is the grand scale of the poem, and the tendency towards a narrative nature. I once started one, about the four horsemen of the apocalypse... but I had a little trouble with the quantity/quality dynamic... thankfully it was lost in the great hard drive fire of 2004.

 

[BooMerengue]

An Epic doesn't need to rhyme. Look at Paradise Lost, or The Faerie Queen, or The Iliad. The important aspect is the grand scale of the poem, and the tendency towards a narrative nature. I once started one, about the four horsemen of the apocalypse... but I had a little trouble with the quantity/quality dynamic... thankfully it was lost in the great hard drive fire of 2004.

lmao

Don't mean to laugh- but I know exactly how you feel! I haven't written even a part of one yet that I'd put my real name to! LOL

 

[Trent_Dutch]

lmao

Don't mean to laugh- but I know exactly how you feel! I haven't written even a part of one yet that I'd put my real name to! LOL

Go ahead and laugh... I think that night involved the amanita muscaria, and I was trying to rhyme, which really stunted me... I should have known better, I'd read Paradise Lost and a little of the Odyssey, but I just didn't remember, and tortured myself for hours with the thing. Woke up the next afternoon and felt disgusted with it. I forgot about it. Read it only once again... because I forgot about it and was doing some cataloguing of my hd... still disgusted me... Funny thing is, I can remember writing it now, but can't remember when. I might have it on an old disc I used to backup when I got a new HD, but its pretty scratched up and I can't see all thats on it. If I find it I'll post it just for laughs.

 

[BooMerengue]

Trent- I wasn't laughing at you or your attempt. I would dearly love to write one- I love epic poetry. I was just laughing about the 'great fire' etc and your sort of jarred attitude.

 

[evelyn_carroll]

Can anyone help or collaborate on this?

I started writing this yesterday, not intending a really long epic but holding to the basic epic story idea. After a couple of hours work (or play?) I discovered that this rhyme scheme makes it fucking hard to write. Any one out there interested in collaborating, adding verses, editing and polishing?

If not, I’ll either give up or plod on very slowly in bored moments.
Cheers
Evelyn


Spenserian Stan

The downs all green, chalked with Nature’s cadre,
Were spread below her smoothly charging steed.
Hot throbbing in between her legs made her
Feel ineluctably increased greed;
The Kawasaki’s pistons fuelled her need.
Cresting the rise, she surveyed all she saw.
In bright green leather clad was she indeed
But knightness errant no. She was much more:
A proud Mistress; though once the daughter of a whore.

It’s moated walls ambushed her visored eye.
Grinning gargoyles gruesome part and parcel
Of faerie epic feel; the walls were high
And grim. Sinister bells ring a last knell.
Braking fast now, she stares up at the castle.
She slopes her bike, dismounts and hacks at vines,
Seeking a willing slave to buy or sell.
In dungeon deep lies Stan in stained ermines.
Here pent is he, if you’d believe the legend’s lines.

The legend old tells of a slave called Stan

… more mouse than man

*****
The basic idea is a Green Knight/Faerie Queen type story, but with the rôles reversed and a BDSM theme. Stan is the damsel in distress. He’ll be ‘rescued’ by the Green Goddess and there will be some rumpy-pumpy, bondage, etc.
Then a nice ‘happy’ ending.

The structure of a Spenserian stanza is this
9 lines
first 8 are iambic 5’s
last is an Alexandrine: an iambic 6
Rhyme scheme is
a
b
a
b
b
c
b
c
c

I’ve tried to stick to modern English (which is one of the things that makes for difficulty with rhymes) but still keep a sort of archaic feel by using words like pent.