Ephebe Jeebies! ... aka Another Same Title Challenge

[champagne1982]

The Heebie-Jeebies

ephebe (hēbē) from the Greek meaning "young manhood.

I love my perceived etymology of the term the heebie-jeebies. Consider the squirming feeling of aversion as compared to Grecian youths, drafted into compulsory service in the army. That's enough to give ya the heebe-jeebies.

So, write a poem of reasonable length, using a scheme and metre of your own choosing with the title "The Heebie-Jeebies".

Prohibited terms and words: boy(s), run (and its derivatives) and any and all pronouns. Have fun, please. I promise I won't (nor should anyone else) get upset if anyone absolutely needs a pronoun. It is my opinion that skilled wordies should be able to write a poem without dropping a pronoun into any of the three cases: subjective, objective or possessive (ie, using he; the subjective--He is a wanker. the objective--Give him the wank from behind. and finally, the possessive--That is his wanker. )

Required content: salivate, gregarious, and any word denoting male sexual anatomy ie: prick, cock...

Post your poems to this thread by Wednesday, October 28.

Keep in mind, if you want review or critique, you should review either in return or first in hopes of reciprocation. Review the poetry here in this thread, too, just quote the poem you're commenting on.

No real pressure here, folks. This is a very useful excercise that exposes us to each others writing and reviewing styles. By no means should we personalize criticism; but, instead strive to give constructive feedback and be gracious in your receipt of a review.

Happy writing.

Please feel free to kibbitz and discuss any work in progress on this thread too.

 

[The_Fool]

rules....fuck....prick tease

 

[champagne1982]

rules....fuck....prick tease

I KNOW! Exciting, eh?

Look! You've even got one requirement outta the way already. Shake hands with your penis and say, "Congratulations."

heehee.

 

[champagne1982]

BUMP! because participating guarantees instant gratification... (feedback-wise you pervs!)

Please consider trying to write a heebie-jeebies poem. Don't make me beg.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Oooops only just seen this thread

Ummmm what's 'all verb tense constructs or objective cases of pronouns.'

 

[champagne1982]

Oooops only just seen this thread

Ummmm what's 'all verb tense constructs or objective cases of pronouns.'

Well: I, you, he, she, we, and they, it and these, me, my, your, yours, him, his, her, hers, us, our, ours, thier, thiers, those, them, this and that... to suggest a few of many pronouns that would qualify as prohibited.

<< someone's been taking English classes and my gawd! If I have to dangle one more participle or split an infinitive yet again (we learn by doing wrong) I'll scream.

 

[BooMerengue]

Jeez, Champ! Why don't you make it tough? Can I use winky? Cuz thats what they are here! lol I don't know as much about my language as you do! I'd bomb this fer shure!! But I still love YOU for putting something, anyway. I'm still trying to rewrite 2 poems I wrote 5 yrs apart that both say the same thing. One rhymes- the other doesn't. I'm ready to chuck them forever.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I've got the title!

 

[lorencino]

and . . .

Well, I, you, he, she, we, and they, it and these, me, my, your, yours, him, his, her, hers, us, our, ours, thier, thiers, those, them, this and that... to suggest a few of many pronouns that would qualify as prohibited.

<< someone's been taking English classes and my gawd! If I have to dangle one more participle or split an infinitive yet again (we learn by doing wrong) I'll scream.

That still leaves “verb tense constructs" to be explained.

 

[normal jean]

rules....fuck....prick tease

Oh, Fool! you have such a way with words

 

[UnderYourSpell]

is 'for' a forbidden word?

 

[champagne1982]

The pronoun that would go in the verbal phrase is what I'm referring to; well is not one of them... I suppose I should separate that from the list with a colon...

(If I did would I be full of shit?)

Have fun, please. I promise I won't (nor should anyone else) get upset if anyone absolutely needs a pronoun. It is my opinion that skilled wordies should be able to write a poem without dropping a pronoun into any of the three cases: subjective, objective or possessive (ie, using he; He is a wanker. Give him the wank from behind. That is his wanker.)

I've edited my original challenge post here, so that the instructions include the above example. I hope that helps.

 

[champagne1982]

I've got the title!

LOL. If I know you, your poem's a roundel and finished.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

LOL. If I know you, your poem's a roundel and finished.

You're joking Ron is here all the time and like a child needs continual imput ....... plus I've broken a nail and I can't type properly ....... this post took 3 tries!

 

[champagne1982]

You're joking Ron is here all the time and like a child needs continual imput ....... plus I've broken a nail and I can't type properly ....... this post took 3 tries!

I hope it's better before Wednesday! I started writing a poem for this one, then I looked at Lauren's thread, so I started writing a bonus challenge poem, but then it morphed into a sestina so I tacked a title on it and submitted it as a main challenge response.

(I'm betting I've used an immunity for sestina already but if I have, I'll just delete the immunity tag and keep the sestina). I hate my muse!

 

[champagne1982]

You're joking Ron is here all the time and like a child needs continual imput ....... plus I've broken a nail and I can't type properly ....... this post took 3 tries!

I'm off for a flu shot, see you all later.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Only you could turn another poem into a sestina of all things!

 

[EroticOrogeny]

I hope it's better before Wednesday! I started writing a poem for this one, then I looked at Lauren's thread, so I started writing a bonus challenge poem, but then it morphed into a sestina so I tacked a title on it and submitted it as a main challenge response.

(I'm betting I've used an immunity for sestina already but if I have, I'll just delete the immunity tag and keep the sestina). I hate my muse!

You still should put it in as a bonus, since worth 3, rather than 1 point (unless write another for the bonus). Based on recent activity, it seems like we have about 5 poets still surviving:
UnderYourSpell
Tristesse2
Champagne1982
ShadowLor
and me

 

[champagne1982]

You still should put it in as a bonus, since worth 3, rather than 1 point (unless write another for the bonus). Based on recent activity, it seems like we have about 5 poets still surviving:
UnderYourSpell
Tristesse2
Champagne1982
ShadowLor
and me

If I don't write another form poem, though. I can't write another free verse until I do. Plus, there's a question of how many immunities I actually have. I can't use them unless I start submitting some actual words...

y'know?

 

[EroticOrogeny]

If I don't write another form poem, though. I can't write another free verse until I do. Plus, there's a question of how many immunities I actually have. I can't use them unless I start submitting some actual words...

y'know?

I, too, try to keep ahead on forms over free verse in case my muse hits me with a free verse for a trigger. Right now I have 2 more forms than poets choice. You have 3 more forms than free, so you should have some room there. I looked, and I didn't see anything indicating any limits on immunities.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

"The Heebie-Jeebies"

neither gregarious nor a lone wolf
this self seeks solace with one or some few
talk and listen, participate in games
perpetually thinking, self aware

once classmate, chance choice chills and thrills, so new
summer of concerts and shows together
target timeless life to one side by side
salivate, unknown how to cross the gulf

manhood magnified, but by thoughts denied
wriggle, not comfortable with this need
girl shy, first time, unsure how to proceed
postpone action now, defer till later

I think this satisfies all the requirements and fits into the spirit of the title in one sense.
'gregarious' not a good word for use with iambic, so I just went for same length, and a couple of random rhymes.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Goodness knows if this is right but here goes ......

Globes smooth upon a salivating tongue,
perfect succulent testicular delights,
pommels of a rigid steed
sap rising in a gregarious fountain
to explode when ridden at speed
across the sheets of orgiastic pleasure.
Coaxed again by willing lips,
one pair upon each sphere yet another
drawn softly up the length to engulf
a pulsating tip.
Swallowed deep till nothing matters
but sensual orgasmic oblivion.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Goodness knows if this is right but here goes ......

Globes smooth upon a salivating tongue,
perfect succulent testicular delights,
pommels of a rigid steed
sap rising in a gregarious fountain
to explode when ridden at speed
across the sheets of orgiastic pleasure.
Coaxed again by willing lips,
one pair upon each sphere yet another
drawn softly up the length to engulf
a pulsating tip.
Swallowed deep till nothing matters
but sensual orgasmic oblivion.

I'd say you satisfied all the requirements of the challenge.
Seems kind of crowded with multiple pairs of lips in the same spot at the same time!
'gregarious fountain' kind of throws me though - seems a stretch to get the word in.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'd say you satisfied all the requirements of the challenge.
Seems kind of crowded with multiple pairs of lips in the same spot at the same time!
'gregarious fountain' kind of throws me though - seems a stretch to get the word in.

Haven't you got room for a pair of lips on your balls and another pair on your cock then lol?! You're probably right about the 'gregarious fountain' although as the dictionary described the word as a lot living together I thought I'd take a chance at making it a lot of spunk!

 

[lorencino]

Fuck, this is excellent

Goodness knows if this is right but here goes ......

Globes smooth upon a salivating tongue,
perfect succulent testicular delights,
pommels of a rigid steed
sap rising in a gregarious fountain
to explode when ridden at speed
across the sheets of orgiastic pleasure.
Coaxed again by willing lips,
one pair upon each sphere yet another
drawn softly up the length to engulf
a pulsating tip.
Swallowed deep till nothing matters
but sensual orgasmic oblivion.

Really excellent piece to meditate on, cogitate on, dream on: You don't piss about, UYS. You just get right to the core of the exercise and do your thing.