Enigma (closed)

[KiwiD82]

James had barely closed the door and certainly hadn't had the time to apologise to his fiancée before she suggested giving herself up.

"Don't be silly," he scoffed, sitting on the bed beside her. "There's no need for us to do anything like that."

But even as the words escaped his mouth, James knew that there was. Victoria's name had been mentioned in an interrogation and that ultimately made her a target: presumably of both English and German intelligence organisations.

James wrapped one arm around Victoria's shoulders and lightly pulled her against him. He kissed her forehead gently, then let out a long sigh.

He was exhausted, and yet their arduous journey was just beginning.

 

[heartofcourage]

"'Of course there is, James." Victoria said as he sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "We have a duty to uphold what we know is truthful. Once you tell your bosses what you know, I will have to be turned in."

It was quiet between them for a long moment as she rested her head against his shoulder. She knew that there would be suspicion on the both of them, but for the moment, she needed him to understand that she had no idea about any of this.

"I never knew him. I don't remember him, even though I've tried." She murmured. "All I remember is my father. He's been the only one that was there for me."

 

[KiwiD82]

James sat with Victoria in silence, both of them contemplating what was to come. They had thought the conversation with the Stirlings would be tough, and it was. But it had opened a dark door that seemed to lead to a staircase spiralling downward. It was difficult to navigate with so little light.

Eventually, Victoria spoke. It was a protestation of innocence. James would never have thought her a guilty party, but he understood why she said it all the same.

"I know," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I know."

The room fell silent again and the situation threatened to swallow them whole. James pulled away slightly from Victoria and turned to face her, trying to catch her gaze and to look into her stunning brown eyes.

"No matter what happens," he spoke, his voice still quiet, "I will do all I can to see us through this."

Leaning forward, James placed a gentle kiss on Victoria's forehead, then gently pulled her into his embrace.

 

[heartofcourage]

"No matter what, I will always love you, Jim." Victoria said softly as James pulled her in tightly for a hug, her dark brown eyes closing as she struggled to come to terms with that painful moment. "No matter what happens I want to be your wife."

It seemed silly to be worrying about the two of them in that moment when there was so much more at stake. It was all she knew was real, however. What she felt for James was solid and she knew that story from beginning to end. It wasn't uncertain and shaky like the story of her birth had been.

She simply held him, allowing him to lie them both down on the bed. She couldn't sleep even as she relaxed, her head resting on the pillow as she stared into his gaze. Her mind was racing. This was a puzzle that she couldn't solve. It would perhaps be the biggest one that she ever had to face.

 

[KiwiD82]

James held Victoria all night long. At some point he slipped into a fitful sleep but it didn't last long, and when he awoke, he was still facing the woman he loved as the night slowly dragged by.

The weariness that had overcome him must have paled in comparison to what Victoria had faced - not to mention whatever the future might hold for them both.

By the time the first shreds of dawn light dared to encroach into the room, with the walls and furniture now dark outlines instead of pitch blackness, James knew they should return to London immediately.

Having discovered the previous night's revelations, their situation would only worsen if they were seen to have withheld the truth from their superiors.

It also meant - he hoped - that Victoria wouldn't have to trigger more emotions by talking to her mother before they left. That would only make their return to the capital all the more difficult.

James cupped Victoria's face which, still gorgeous despite her tears, rested atop her pillow. He leant in and placed a slow, gentle, and lingering kiss upon her lips, before climbing up off the bed.

They were both still wearing the clothes they'd worn when they had returned to the Stirling home the previous evening.

"Up, milady," he advised her, the urgency of his voice doing nothing to diminish the gentleness with which he knew she had to be treated. "We should get to London as quickly as possible. We have some explaining to do."

 

[heartofcourage]

When she finally did sleep, it was fitful. Victoria could not get comfortable and allow her mind to rest. When she felt James stir the next morning, she let out a long sigh and opened her eyes, glancing around her room as if she expected everything to be different in the morning light. It wasn't and that depressed her greatly.

"Breakfast first and then we'll go." Victoria said softly as she turned to watch Jim for a moment. "We need to talk to my mother and let her know that none of this is her fault. It's not a conversation that I want to have, but we owe it to her."

Soon, Victoria was up and dressed, her hair pulled back into her normal style when she was in London. The trip to the country was suppose to be relaxing and cheerful, but she found herself aching for the solitude that the city could give them.

 

[KiwiD82]

When Victoria first made mention of her mother, James wanted to refuse her. He wanted to shake his head and tell her 'no'.

But he knew she was right. In truth, it was guilt that was motivating him. If he hadn't interrogated that German agent...if he hadn't heard Victoria's name getting mentioned...if he hadn't asked Ruth Stirling if Robert was Victoria's biological father...

Ruth didn't fit the English stoical stereotype. For as long as James had known her, she had always been willing to show emotion.

She had shown it the previous night, when she had left the living room in tears.

James still felt awful about that, and decided he would let Victoria take charge of the damage control in the hope that she could help her mother to understand the reason for the previous evening's discussion.

In the end, despite his desire to do the opposite, James nodded.

"You're right," he admitted, opening the bedroom door to get the conversation over with. "We do owe her an explanation...and I owe her an apology."

 

[heartofcourage]

Victoria led James into the house and down the stairs. The house was eerily quiet, save for the sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen. When Victoria pushed open the door, she paused for a moment as she saw her mother. She looked older, as if she had aged over night. She had been crying, the tell tale signs of tears on her cheeks and the slight bruising around her eyes showing that they weren't the only ones who had been hard pressed to find sleep.

"Mummy?" Victoria murmured softly, watching as Ruth stiffened and turned to face them.

"Breakfast will be ready in a moment." Ruth murmured softly, much subdued. "Your father and the girls went to tend to the sheep."

"Mummy...there are things that we need to talk about." Victoria said softly as she moved towards her mother and wrapped her slender arms around her. "I'm not upset. I'm very sorry that things had to happen the way that they did."

 

[KiwiD82]

James lingered at the doorway as Victoria approached Ruth and embraced her. He wanted to say something, for he knew it was his questioning that had so upset the poor woman, but he feared he would only make things worse.

James and Victoria had known the previous evening's conversation had been necessary, but that did nothing to erase the guilt they felt at the upset they had caused.

"Mrs Stirling," he began, but the words caught in his throat.

Ruth had done nothing to deserve this. She had tried to keep the identity of Victoria's biological father secret, and yet here they all were.

"I'm sorry," he added feebly.

 

[heartofcourage]

Ruth hugged her daughter tightly, knowing that the relationship that they had shared was changing. She knew the truth, as horrible and shameful as it was. However, she knew that her daughter was strong and stubborn, much like her father. If she knew Victoria, it would be only a ripple in the water to her.

"I'm not ready to discuss it." Ruth murmured, pulling back from Victoria briefly. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to discuss it. However, there is nothing to apologize for. From either of you."

"Mummy, this war is nasty business. Horrible things happen every single day and you know that I don't hold any of this against you, right?" Victoria murmured, glancing over at James.

"I know, love. However, that doesn't take away the sting of being young, in love, and abandoned." Ruth murmured. "I have hopes for the both of you."

 

[KiwiD82]

James nodded to affirm Victoria's statement that nothing was bend held against Ruth.

He marveled at the older woman's response. Her willingness to find forgiveness even amidst the upset they'd caused her was true remarkable.

"I will take care of Victoria, Mrs Stirling," he offered, though the statement was somewhat redundant. "Or at the very least, I shall watch her take care of herself."

Victoria was strong and independent - qualities that James adored in her - and he was confident that they would remain strong, despite the uncertain future that waited them in London.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Mummy, James and I have been together for a very long time. Nothing short of a tragedy is going to separate us." Victoria promised her mother, glancing over at Jim as she knew that they were in danger in London.

There had been tense moments already. Bombings where they had been separated and neither knew if the other had survived. Their reunions had been intense afterwards, love making for days afterwards as if to make up for being apart and memorizing one another in case the worst did happen. He was the absolute love of her life, the man that made her quake, and she knew that she would never willingly give him up.

"I know." Ruth said softly, touching her daughter's cheek gently. "The both of you are much different than I was. Now, let's forget this mess for the time being and enjoy a nice breakfast."

Victoria knew that her mother wanted to think about anything else but her past and she slowly nodded, moving out of the way to let her continue cooking. Taking James's hand, she pulled him towards the parlor, wrapping her arms around his chest and hugging him tightly.

"I love you, Jim." She murmured softly. "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

 

[KiwiD82]

James felt like a naughty schoolboy in Ruth's presence. No matter how legitimate his questions had been, nor his good intentions, he still felt guilty for having caused the woman hurt.

It was only now that the prospect of returning to London loomed large on the horizon that James realised how valuable the time away had been. Not once had he or Victoria heard an air raid siren, or been at all concerned with what was going on in Europe - they had been free to enjoy the countryside and each other.

And as his fiancée pulled him into the parlour, held him, and reiterated her love for him, he wrapped his arms around her slender form and kept her close. He dropped his head to kiss the woman's crown.

"I know, my queen," he whispered between kisses. "I know."

James took a deep breath and let out a long, slow sigh, but that was immediately followed by a gentle chuckle that Victoria could undoubtedly feel as she leaned into him.

"You know, Victoria," he spoke to his fiancée in a markedly lighter tone than before. "I have no idea quite how the next little while is going to go, but just imagine the story we'll be able to tell our grandchildren!"

 

[heartofcourage]

Victoria felt the deep chuckle rumble through his chest, Jim's voice soothing in the stressful moment as he talked about the stories that they would tell their grandchildren some day.

"That's the first time I've heard you talk about wanting children." Victoria murmured softly, pulling her head back from his chest to look into his tender gaze. "Maybe not a large family like mine, but a few would be nice."

They were talking about their future together. Not dreaming about a day when the war would be over. Really talking about their future and what it was going to hold.

"Your mother would be happy to hear that. We would have to move her closer to the city so she could travel easier." Victoria said with a slight smile on her lips.

 

[KiwiD82]

Victoria was right. James hadn't spoken of children before.

He had meant the comment as a light joke, but the underlying truth of his desire for a family had surprised even him.

James looked down at Victoria as she spoke of his mother.

"Yes, we'll need a babysitter nearby," he quipped, then dropped his head to kiss his queen's perfect lips.

It was a slow, lingering kiss, not borne of passion but of tenderness. And for a few moments, it felt as though the outside world, with its complications and risks and uncertainty, faded away. The only thing that truly mattered to James was Victoria. She was his world.

 

[heartofcourage]

Victoria smiled as James leaned in to kiss her with that gentleness that she had come to expect from him. They were focused on the future together, one that she almost couldn't wait to start. She knew that she had to be patient. Good things came to those who waited.

"You make me so incredibly happy that I swear my heart will burst one day." She murmured as the kiss ended, her dark eyes looking into his own for a moment. "I will be honored to call you my husband when the time is right."

 

[KiwiD82]

The corners of James' mouth curved upwards as Victoria spoke of her happiness. To James, she was an incomparable beauty who showed resilience in the face of any obstacle she encountered.

"And I shall be the richest man in all of England," he breathed contentedly, strong into her dark and intelligent eyes. "Perhaps I already am."

He stayed there for several moments, maintaining their embrace, savouring the feel of her exquisite body being pressed against his, remembering every inch of her form that he had discovered so many times.

The future was uncertain, particularly in a time of war, and with any complications that might come from Victoria's paternity, but they would make the most of moments like these: quiet and still moments - interspersed with passionate ones - at every opportunity.

 

[heartofcourage]

Soon enough Ruth was calling the both of them in to the dining room to eat. The younger girls were quiet, seeming to know that something was off between their parents and their sister. Breakfast was a sober affair as they each sought to figure out what this new life meant.

"When will you come back?" Agatha asked, glancing towards Victoria as she broke the silence that seemed to settle heavy over all of them.

"I don't know. Perhaps a few weeks." Victoria murmured, looking at her younger sister. "James and I don't get a lot of time away from the city. Things are always so busy."

 

[KiwiD82]

James had always had a soft spot for Agatha. Moreso than Victoria's other sisters, the 11 year old had managed to retain a sense of innocence amidst a world at war, and that simplistic view of life was something he found endearing.

Leaning over to the young girl sitting beside him, James acted as if he had a secret to share, but he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

"We shall have to send a telegram so you know when to expect us," he smiled warmly, hoping to break the tension. "Would you like that?"

 

[heartofcourage]

Agatha looked at James with a slight smile as he bent closer to whisper against her ear. She gave him a nod as he offered to send her a telegram the next time that they planned on coming to the country.

"You promise that it will be soon?" She asked him with curiosity in her voice. "Victoria never promises me anything."

Victoria fought the smile that wanted to break across her lips. She remembered well being 11 years old. It was a different time and place back then. Agatha had many other things to worry about now, but she still wanted to see her sister and her future brother-in-law.

 

[KiwiD82]

James grinned. Agatha's enduring eagerness to see him and Victoria was cute.

He flashed his smile across to his queen who sat on his other side and back again as he made his reply.

"Well I'm not Victoria and I keep my promises," he chuckled lightly. "I don't know how soon we'll be back, but I'll make sure the postman tells you before anyone else."

There was much truth in what James had said. Neither he nor Victoria knew what lay ahead for them in London. The war was so uncertain, especially now that Ruth had confirmed Victoria's paternity.

But what James did know, as he reached his hand out for Victoria's soft palm beneath the table, was that they would face the future together.

 

[heartofcourage]

Victoria saw just how calm Jim was with children and it made her heart warm. She loved him and he loved her family, accepting her sisters with open arms. He had never had siblings of his own, but it seemed that he was fitting into her family nicely.

"We will set a date as soon as we can. Aggie. I promise." Victoria said softly as she squeezed Jim's hand beneath the table. "Until then, you'll just have to be patient."

 

[KiwiD82]

James loved holding Victoria's hand. Yes, he took pleasure in the rest of her body and he also adored her mind, but there was something truly special about the simple act of having their palms pressed together, fingertips caressing each other.

He offered Victoria a gentle squeeze just as the familiar bell of the Stirling family's grandfather clock signaled a new hour.

"I'm very sorry," James said, picking up a napkin with his free hand and dabbing his mouth. "We must pack the car and get going if we're to return to London in time.

James looked to Ruth and knew he couldn't apologise to her in front of the other girls, even though he still felt guilty about the previous night.

"Mrs Stirling, thank you for your impeccable hospitality once again."

 

[heartofcourage]

Ruth simply nodded, unable to put into words what she wanted and needed to say. Victoria stood, patting her mother's hand as she moved to help James start to load up their things into his car. The mood was silent and slightly strained but there was nothing to be done. They had a job to do and her mother had to face a hard and harsh reality.

 

[KiwiD82]

Their departure as an engaged couple was much more subdued than their arrival had been. In the doorway, where Victoria's sisters had squealed in delight as they mobbed the couple, and where Ruth had so enthusiastically embraced them, Robert now stood silently with his arm around his wife's shoulders.

The young siblings again stood with their faces pressed against the glass, but their raucous welcome had been replaced with a somewhat reserved farewell.

The girls seemed to know something was not quite right, but they couldn't have known that Victoria was not their full sister.

As James turned the engine and drove the car away from the house and back down the long driveway, he rested a hand on Victoria's knee.

He felt a sense of guilt. The questions had to be asked of Ruth, but he feared that in doing so, the wonderful Stirling family dynamic would be forever changed.