Endless Ends

[SalaciousMonkey22]

As a child, I was taught it was quite rude to ask people things like what they did for a living or questions about their family or background.

Not only rude, but a faux pas, a vulgarity.

Today, people ask those things on first meet. I find it extremely off-putting.

Is my view regional? Old fashioned? Obsolete? Am I just out of touch with the times?

*wanders off to sob into pillow*

Not really.

I don’t know about polite, just think that for most people, what they do to put a roof over their head is the least interesting thing about them. I hate talking about jobs unless your job is cool and interesting.

 

[Endless_Night]

I don’t know about polite, just think that for most people, what they do to put a roof over their head is the least interesting thing about them. I hate talking about jobs unless your job is cool and interesting.

You know, if I find someone interesting, I don't mind hearing about their job experiences as it adds detail to who they are as a person and their perspectives.

What gets me is the . . . idk, is entitlement the right word? The entitlement the people seem to feel about knowing things about you on a personal level. Job, financials, family, education, marital status, sexual preferences - that stuff is my business and I'll decide when and where and who I choose to disclose such.

Don't get me wrong! I am a curious kitten and all ask question all day long if I feel so moved!

But I make sure the questionee finds my asking acceptable. And I certainly don't lead with questions on personal information. So . . . mannerless.

Gross.

 

[Endless_Night]

I am alone in this thinking aren't I?

 

[morelikeasong]

I am alone in this thinking aren't I?

Probably not alone but I do think in a smaller group.

I don’t think of someone’s job as personal information, definitely not on the same level as financials or sexual preferences, IMO.

I was taught not to ask about money or age, but I’ve never heard to not ask someone what they do for work. (For reference- I grew up in New England and was also not taught to address people with sir/ma’am)

 

[Endless_Night]

I was taught not to ask about money or age, but I’ve never heard to not ask someone what they do for work. (For reference- I grew up in New England and was also not taught to address people with sir/ma’am)

I'd forgotten age! Also a no go.

Ah. So definitely a bit group or regional. I grew up in the south. Sir/ma'am are (or at least were) beaten into you at a young age.

Curious. What was the alternate mode of address, if you don't mind my asking?

 

[morelikeasong]

Curious. What was the alternate mode of address, if you don't mind my asking?

Mr./Ms./Mrs. (With last name… disrespectful without), unless told otherwise by that adult to call them by their first name. If I didn’t know their name, please/thank you/excuse me were all used without any additional address needed.

 

[Endless_Night]

Mr./Ms./Mrs. (With last name… disrespectful without), unless told otherwise by that adult to call them by their first name. If I didn’t know their name, please/thank you/excuse me were all used without any additional address needed.

Thank you!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I’ll add that I think pay transparency is good and that social pressure to not discuss it was more a tool of control than anything else. I think younger generations have caught on to this and rightfully fighting back against it. Knowing what a job can pay and what a job should pay are valuable pieces of information both in planning your present and your future

 

[investor2020]

I was raised that one's privacy was to be respected, especially your own. If someone volunteered information about themselves, fine . . . and if it led to topics you were comfortable with expressing your own inputs, fine to join in. If it impinged on your own privacy, then no . . . unless it was in the nature of a developing relationship or friendship.

Pay transparency is a touchy issue. Having worked for a large corporation at one time, I saw that many jobs had a pay range . . . a base starting salary for the job, and performance based increases that led to a top salary level for the job. If the job did not have a pay range, then performance was rewarded by bonus dollars rather than a pay raise.

 

[Endless_Night]

I’ll add that I think pay transparency is good and that social pressure to not discuss it was more a tool of control than anything else. I think younger generations have caught on to this and rightfully fighting back against it. Knowing what a job can pay and what a job should pay are valuable pieces of information both in planning your present and your future

This seems sensible and self-evident to me, but I've never worked in a corporate environment. Some of my corporate friends see the point, but say it's more complicated than it seems.

I was raised that one's privacy was to be respected, especially your own. If someone volunteered information about themselves, fine . . . and if it led to topics you were comfortable with expressing your own inputs, fine to join in. If it impinged on your own privacy, then no . . . unless it was in the nature of a developing relationship or friendship.

This! A succinct way of saying what I was trying to say.

 

[Endless_Night]

One of the benefits of being out here more rurally is baby bird season.

This year was a bonanza! Bluejays, wrens, and barn swallows, all up close to the house. In the morning and slightly before dusk it's like living in an aviary. All the trills and chirps and song. A constant happy chatter.

This year it's been wet enough for the barn swallows to lay twice!

The last batch of barn swallow nestlings fledged today.

Kinda sad.

 

[hotwords229_A]

This year it's been wet enough for the barn swallows to lay twice!

If they laid twice, it doesn’t sound like they swallowed at all.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

This seems sensible and self-evident to me, but I've never worked in a corporate environment. Some of my corporate friends see the point, but say it's more complicated than it seems.

It’s not more complicated than it seems. I’ve worked in Corporate FP&A for decades. The only people served by keeping compensation packages under wraps is ownership.

This! A succinct way of saying what I was trying to say.

Yeah. I guess I just don’t care if people ask prying questions. If I think their being genuinely curious than I might answer if I think they have an ulterior move I probably won’t. I think certain aspects of tech culture have worked hard to destroy the idea that any privacy is valuable: I’m not concerned about it at an individual level I’m concerned about what my phone and computer are doing. I think that level is creating the culture at the individual level not the other way around. That’s where the fight is I think.

 

[Mei5ter]

I am alone in this thinking aren't I?

I would answer this, but I'm not sure we've been properly introduced?

(And no, you're not alone. Although our late Queen used "And what do you do?" as a conversational gambit with fair success for seventy years. But I'll start with the weather and go from there).

Ah. So definitely a bit group or regional. I grew up in the south. Sir/ma'am are (or at least were) beaten into you at a young age.

Unexpectedly, I have turned into a good Southern girl in my old age, and now routinely use Sir/ma'am at work.

Mr./Ms./Mrs. (With last name… disrespectful without), unless told otherwise by that adult to call them by their first name. If I didn’t know their name, please/thank you/excuse me were all used without any additional address needed.

At school, we used a variation of this where parents were Mr/Mrs+name of their son/daughter. So your mom would have been "Mrs MLAS" to me. It seems bizarre now I think about it, but...no one seemed to mind?

 

[Endless_Night]

A pair of Black Bellied Whistling Ducks!

I've never seen one before.

 

[Endless_Night]

It’s not more complicated than it seems. I’ve worked in Corporate FP&A for decades. The only people served by keeping compensation packages under wraps is ownership.

Yeah. I guess I just don’t care if people ask prying questions. If I think their being genuinely curious than I might answer if I think they have an ulterior move I probably won’t. I think certain aspects of tech culture have worked hard to destroy the idea that any privacy is valuable: I’m not concerned about it at an individual level I’m concerned about what my phone and computer are doing. I think that level is creating the culture at the individual level not the other way around. That’s where the fight is I think.

Interesting. I haven't spent much time thinking about the cultural influences behind erosion of privacy, but I am most definitely concerned about what is on my phone, computer and website. Very much.

 

[Endless_Night]

I would answer this, but I'm not sure we've been properly introduced?

(And no, you're not alone. Although our late Queen used "And what do you do?" as a conversational gambit with fair success for seventy years. But I'll start with the weather and go from there).

Thank you Sir to whom I've not been properly introduced. Your support is noted and greatly appreciated. *curtsies*

(There are no rules for royalty? )

Unexpectedly, I have turned into a good Southern girl in my old age, and now routinely use Sir/ma'am at work.

I like that you are evolving.

At school, we used a variation of this where parents were Mr/Mrs+name of their son/daughter. So your mom would have been "Mrs MLAS" to me. It seems bizarre now I think about it, but...no one seemed to mind?

This is a riot. And something school children would come up with. The children in the family group are always blindsiding me with new verbiage. For a while, everything was suss. (Sort for suspect, apparently.) Lately I've been hit with, "What the sigma!". That means . . . .

Actually I'm not sure what that means.

 

[hotwords229_A]

A pair of Black Bellied Whistling Ducks!

I've never seen one before.

This ^^^ could so easily become a “fixed it for you”

 

[Endless_Night]

This ^^^ could so easily become a “fixed it for you”

I would like to say I got this right off the bat and didn't have to ask.

I would like to say that.

But I cannot.

 

[Apisto42]

I’ve been told that there is a large difference between the east coast and west coast on intro conversation (at say a gathering). On the east coast, especially near DC, it is very common for people to ask “what do you do for work?” While on the west coast that is considered very plebeian and gauche.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’ve been told that there is a large difference between the east coast and west coast on intro conversation (at say a gathering). On the east coast, especially near DC, it is very common for people to ask “what do you do for work?” While on the west coast that is considered very plebeian and gauche.

I think on the West Coast they tell you whether you want to know or not. They also tell you their politics, diet, car they drive, people they’ve worked with . . .

Maybe I’m just thinking of California.

 

[Endless_Night]

Welp. I am entirely glad that is done.

*thunk*

Question: Is it possible to *thunk* while curled up on the couch with a weighted blanket and a cup of tea watching an old black-and-and white sci-fi that features The Professor from Gilligan's Island?

 

[Endless_Night]

I did manage to clean the kitchen and make ghee, but otherwise my fanny did not leave the couch.

Slacker day?

 

[Mei5ter]

I did manage to clean the kitchen and make ghee

Thank you for clarifying

 

[investor2020]

Once again, Enny, you send me in search of clarification . . . so ghee has a higher smoke point than butter . . . but why would anyone want to smoke ghee ??