end game

[dolf]

it's almost like a seesaw sometimes... that's teeter totter to y'all yanks.
there's a tipping point, where the process of living starts to cede to the process of dying. it's something you can sense. perhaps by smell, or maybe it's instinctive, you can't be sure quite how but the awareness hits you.

what's this? it's for the pain. but i'm not in pain. well... just in case you're in pain later *smile*

sometimes they're well prepared, telling you proudly that their funeral is all arranged and paid for. sometimes they're scared, begging anyone and everyone to suddenly acquire godlike powers to banish death. some are social, thanking you and wishing you a happy life. some are grateful. I wonder how i'll be, when the time comes, if it comes to that.

i'm off now. goodbye, and be good. thank you, dear. when will you be back? *smile whilst mentally calculating the chances of seeing her alive again*

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Where do I send the flowers?

 

[bronzeage]

I've never been able to tell if my side of the seesaw is going up or down.

 

[richard_daily]

Whether you're going up and down on the seesaw of life... just enjoy the ride.

 

[pointless]

what? no lotto numbers? meh. i just wanted the cookie anyway.

 

[ishtat]

I saw a fair amount of death when I was a student. I had a part time job with an undertaker, going around old peoples homes and hospitals to remove the bodies. We were usually pretty discrete but on at least two occasions elderly people knew why we were there and said to us, "She's gone and I'll be next" or similar words - and they were both pretty right.

Some of the nursing and carer staff also seemed to have a sense that a particular individual would not last long.

The worst deaths to my mind were the people in hospitals who were wired to every gadget, had tubes and needles all over the place because their relatives wouldn't accept the inevitable.

Some of the care homes and hospices were excellent. One Quaker establishment in particular had a fair proportion of derelicts. It impressed me that these people who enjoyed precious little dignity in life, were at least granted it in death - by people who hardly knew them at all.

 

[RobDownSouth]

it's almost like a seesaw sometimes... that's teeter totter to y'all yanks.
there's a tipping point, where the process of living starts to cede to the process of dying. it's something you can sense. perhaps by smell, or maybe it's instinctive, you can't be sure quite how but the awareness hits you.

what's this? it's for the pain. but i'm not in pain. well... just in case you're in pain later *smile*

sometimes they're well prepared, telling you proudly that their funeral is all arranged and paid for. sometimes they're scared, begging anyone and everyone to suddenly acquire godlike powers to banish death. some are social, thanking you and wishing you a happy life. some are grateful. I wonder how i'll be, when the time comes, if it comes to that.

i'm off now. goodbye, and be good. thank you, dear. when will you be back? *smile whilst mentally calculating the chances of seeing her alive again*

I had no idea you and Amicus were so close.
He is a bit of a drama queen, though....he's been "dying" for several years now.

 

[Riles]

Some of the nursing and carer staff also seemed to have a sense that a particular individual would not last long.

It's not hard to tell once you have seen it a time or two.

Cheyne–Stokes
Temperature
Skin appearence
Smell of...death

that and more can let staff pinpoint usually within a day or hours ime

 

[Mrtenant]

Sort of a question I've been pondering for a few weeks now. Though for me, I guess I look at it like I'm pretty sure I have fewer years ahead of me than I do behind me.

I put my body through too much over the years. Not the typical obese American thing, but more, the hyper metabolism, libido, extreme exercise thing. Truly a wonder I've never broken anything, though there are days it feels like it.


The question lately has been, ....when and why do people give up on their appearance? When do they just say fuck it, I'll just look like shit, no one cares anyway?

 

[snugglestruggle]

Where do I send the flowers?

1313 Mocking bird lane

 

[Vikingstone]

1313 Mocking bird lane

Doesn't look scary to me...

 

[eyer]

It's a beautiful day to die.

 

[Noor]

We can wish and plan all we want, but we really have very little control.

I told Byron I wanted him to die asleep in his bed while he was still active and able but not sooner than 20 yrs from now. He thought this was very sweet of me

He wanted to experience death and to know it was happening. Neither of us got our wish. As death goes, his was pretty good, just way too soon for those of us who cared for him.

The one thing I learned from recent experience, is that even those who think they have everything worked out don't. Everyone needs to put together an easy to find notebook that says "in the case of my death" with instructions and tell who has the will, where the accounts and paperwork are, insurance policies, how they would like their personal effects distributed, what they want done with their body and any memorial plans.

 

[CandiCame]

It's not a see-saw, it's a slide. You start dying from the minute you're conceived. If you make it past the auto-abort stage, and are born, you gotta make it through all kinds of childhood diseases- hell, I almost died when I was 5. We all gotta die someday; I intend to deserve it. Might as well die for something.

What's wrong with you?

 

[Not Normal]

Statistically I am near the middle of my life. I don't know that I see it that way, or want it to be that way, but that's how the numbers lie. I could get hit by a car, contract a disease, or slip in the shower before the numbers suggest that I'll expire. I have a grandparent on each side that died in their 70s and the other in their early 90s. I just live my life as I see fit.

 

[CandiCame]

Statistically I am near the middle of my life. I don't know that I see it that way, or want it to be that way, but that's how the numbers lie. I could get hit by a car, contract a disease, or slip in the shower before the numbers suggest that I'll expire. I have a grandparent on each side that died in their 70s and the other in their early 90s. I just live my life as I see fit.

This is similar to me. I don't really know my dad's family, but on my mom's, my great-gramps was shot and so died pretty early, but both my mamaws and my other papaw lived until their late 90s, and these were people who drank, smoked, ate fucking lard, and lived in an era where Coke had coke in it. So I assume that I'm just immortal. I mean, one of my grandmas, who died recently, had 13 kids and actually birthed more than that (I think she had 2 stillbirths) and STILL lived until her 90s. Her bones should have been dust by then. People CAN live for fuck-all-ever, if you're willing to live through that shitty old people time when you have to wear adult diapers because your kidneys and bladder stop working. Mamaw Marie drank her whole life and so her organs started going on her and couldn't clean her blood so she had to go on dialisis and they gave her 6 months, so in bitchy old people fashion she went on to live almost a decade. Because that's how she rolls. Just because a doctor says you're gonna die doesn't mean that you will.

 

[Liar]

Never had a sit-down with death. Everyone who ever died around me has been once removed - friend of a friend, someone I lost touch with, a distant uncle I didn't know well, that sort of thing. Or they died without an end game. Suddenly and instantly. Or faded away in denial to dementia long before their bodies petered out.

So I never sat at a death bed. Though I guess it'll happen eventually. How will I handle it? How would I handle lying on my own? Not a clue.

 

[dolf]

It's not a see-saw, it's a slide. You start dying from the minute you're conceived. If you make it past the auto-abort stage, and are born, you gotta make it through all kinds of childhood diseases- hell, I almost died when I was 5. We all gotta die someday; I intend to deserve it. Might as well die for something.

What's wrong with you?

I watch people die a lot. I know what I see. there's a tipping point. you'd know it if you saw it. a person can be technically terminal for months before they suddenly tip towards end game. stop being a know-it-all twat.

 

[Saint Peter]

...petered out...

That's cold.

 

[dolf]

I saw a fair amount of death when I was a student. I had a part time job with an undertaker, going around old peoples homes and hospitals to remove the bodies. We were usually pretty discrete but on at least two occasions elderly people knew why we were there and said to us, "She's gone and I'll be next" or similar words - and they were both pretty right.

Some of the nursing and carer staff also seemed to have a sense that a particular individual would not last long.

The worst deaths to my mind were the people in hospitals who were wired to every gadget, had tubes and needles all over the place because their relatives wouldn't accept the inevitable.

Some of the care homes and hospices were excellent. One Quaker establishment in particular had a fair proportion of derelicts. It impressed me that these people who enjoyed precious little dignity in life, were at least granted it in death - by people who hardly knew them at all.

the denial of death is a cruel and painful thing. the wires, bleeps, hospital beds, desperate families and frightened patients. our societies, in general, suck at dealing with the dying.

but where death is accepted, pain is managed, quiet acceptance and open conversation happen, death can be... ok.

 

[CandiCame]

I watch people die a lot. I know what I see. there's a tipping point. you'd know it if you saw it. a person can be technically terminal for months before they suddenly tip towards end game. stop being a know-it-all twat.

I think that I did that when I was 5 because I've heard a lot of people say that and I've never understood it. And it might very well be that I was barely out of infantile amnesia and I had accepted the fact that I was probably going to die. I had terminal cancer; like I had been moved to the wing they put the kids who are dying with the private rooms and shit. So, I never developed this, "I might not die" belief that some people seem to have. But I've seen a lot of people die to (remember that I volunteer in a hospital) and I've not noticed anything like that. Maybe because I work with kids? And they, like me, haven't had this ability to believe that they might NOT die? Like that idea is something that you have to be told, have to develop. You're born knowing that you're going to die and you're cool with it until somebody teaches you to be afraid of it. If you never lose that oneness with the universe, through experience or what some people call "the loss of innocence" then you wouldn't hit a see-saw point because you didn't know it was an option. You'd just be on the slide. And having fun on it. I remember having reincarnation explained to me, when my parents thought that I was going to die, and being like, "Oh, ok then. I hope I'm a tiger or something cool. And I'll do that, what? Before first grade is what the doctor said, right? Then fuck this species and everyone in it. Tiger." Because I, at least, didn't have this fear of death yet. And knowing that it could come any time; because I've had cancer since then, and I've put myself in the hospital since then, means that I never developed it.

Which is not a great thing because it takes away the consequences of suicide, which for someone as crazy as I am is super dangerous.

 

[CandiCame]

Then again, it might not be age, because my grandma was a centenarian when she died and she was also like, "Fuck this species and everybody in it, I'm out." To the point that she was just talking to my uncle and then died and I was holding her hand all, "...um. Should we do something, or?"

We were at hospice, we knew she was gonna die, and so did she, so everybody was just like, "Yup that happened." Because at that point, the "they've put her in hospice point" you know that it's over. You've already kinda started the mourning process where you know that the lifetime is winding down, and start prepping for the haunting. Like seriously. My family is superstitious and there's a fucking app for that. Which I thought was stupid but it made my mom and uncle feel better. You load it and then it shows the ghosts through the camera on your phone.

I think that this is the app they used: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spudpickles.grc&hl=en

It's obviously a hoax; both random AND useless, but it made them feel better for some reason.

 

[Que]

My Dad passed last year. He had myeloblastosis probably from his years running can manufacturing plants. Benzine exposure. Unlike my mom who actually was a medical professional and administered his hospice care, he was not the Doctor he thought he was. He had opinions about everything...(yeah that apple didn't fall from the tree) used to write long letters to anyone who would listen about his medical theories. Some have some merit, some bat-shit crazy. He didn't fuck around with unimportant people, He wrote the surgeon General himself and would get polite, noncommittal replies.

I mention that to show the sharp contrast with how he accepted his fate. My oldest daughter had guilt-ed me into reconnecting with my parents after years of estrangement. I had just done so when he found out what his weakness was caused by. He had been at 75 brush-cutting trails and harassing tourists for the US Forest Service as a volunteer. He asked some questions, declined chemo. Survived a year on blood transfusions as he tried to reconnect as best he could with the rest of his kids.

He walked the beach with my brother who is both an MD and happens to do some lay clergy work in the church of my youth...I didn't know that. Anyway Querybrother says, "So, you feel ready?' Dad, "Sure." Bro: "Any regrets?" Dad: "Nope" Bro: "None at all?" Dad: "There are lots of things I would have done differently, but I am who I am now so I am content." Bro: "What happens if you get to the other side and the Budhists were right?" Dad: ~laughs~ "I figure they will give me a pass because I did the best I could with what I thought was knowledge. If my knowledge was flawed they will assume I could have followed their path correctly had I known."

My brother visited him, towards the end. The blood transfusions were less and less effective so they were discontinued. He was getting jaundiced and tired. He always knew that without the transfusions his systems had a week maybe two. So my brother walks in to Dad's little office area and he is finishing his funeral program. He starts printing it out. My brother says, "Dad, we figure you have about a week, how can you print your program out now with your date of death??"

He said it felt right. He was ready. He wanted to wait a bit longer to try to have as many people at the funeral as possible. In his own weird way this wasn't a grandstanding play. If possible he wanted to have all six surviving children meet since we are dispersed widely and not close. He was an "I see dead people" guy. He always reported when and if he "sensed" the presence of a recently departed soul. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didnt. Not my gift, I usually dont. So he tells my brother he is going to bring the relatives from the other side for a visit. He has this idea that seems borrowed from eastern religions that those on the other side can touch the heart and help with positive life changes in this life.

Anyway...the story raised (metaphorical) hairs on the back of my neck but I sensed nothing at the funeral. That day, though, I swear he threw hard-luck person after hard-luck person my way. I absolutely was not looking to do anything in remembrance of my Dad's generous spirit, it was only after the second such thing happened that it hit me. My dad had always sort of concocted his own Religion from bits and pieces. He was true to his version of it to the end.

 

[CandiCame]

My Dad passed last year. He had myeloblastosis probably from his years running can manufacturing plants. Benzine exposure. Unlike my mom who actually was a medical professional and administered his hospice care, he was not the Doctor he thought he was. He had opinions about everything...(yeah that apple didn't fall from the tree) used to write long letters to anyone who would listen about his medical theories. Some have some merit, some bat-shit crazy. He didn't fuck around with unimportant people, He wrote the surgeon General himself and would get polite, noncommittal replies.

I mention that to show the sharp contrast with how he accepted his fate. My oldest daughter had guilt-ed me into reconnecting with my parents after years of estrangement. I had just done so when he found out what his weakness was caused by. He had been at 75 brush-cutting trails and harassing tourists for the US Forest Service as a volunteer. He asked some questions, declined chemo. Survived a year on blood transfusions as he tried to reconnect as best he could with the rest of his kids.

He walked the beach with my brother who is both an MD and happens to do some lay clergy work in the church of my youth...I didn't know that. Anyway Querybrother says, "So, you feel ready?' Dad, "Sure." Bro: "Any regrets?" Dad: "Nope" Bro: "None at all?" Dad: "There are lots of things I would have done differently, but I am who I am now so I am content." Bro: "What happens if you get to the other side and the Budhists were right?" Dad: ~laughs~ "I figure they will give me a pass because I did the best I could with what I thought was knowledge. If my knowledge was flawed they will assume I could have followed their path correctly had I known."

My brother visited him, towards the end. The blood transfusions were less and less effective so they were discontinued. He was getting jaundiced and tired. He always knew that without the transfusions his systems had a week maybe two. So my brother walks in to Dad's little office area and he is finishing his funeral program. He starts printing it out. My brother says, "Dad, we figure you have about a week, how can you print your program out now with your date of death??"

He said it felt right. He was ready. He wanted to wait a bit longer to try to have as many people at the funeral as possible. In his own weird way this wasn't a grandstanding play. If possible he wanted to have all six surviving children meet since we are dispersed widely and not close. He was an "I see dead people" guy. He always reported when and if he "sensed" the presence of a recently departed soul. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didnt. Not my gift, I usually dont. So he tells my brother he is going to bring the relatives from the other side for a visit. He has this idea that seems borrowed from eastern religions that those on the other side can touch the heart and help with positive life changes in this life.

Anyway...the story raised (metaphorical) hairs on the back of my neck but I sensed nothing at the funeral. That day, though, I swear he threw hard-luck person after hard-luck person my way. I absolutely was not looking to do anything in remembrance of my Dad's generous spirit, it was only after the second such thing happened that it hit me. My dad had always sort of concocted his own Religion from bits and pieces. He was true to his version of it to the end.

Hauntings and those type of people annoy the shit out of me because I live in Appalachia and there are SO FUCKING MANY of them. Every woman and half the men claim this shit. And that's cool. Whatever. It can't possibly be that we live in a drug culture and you bitches are hallucinating. I'm sure that your dead grandma really did appear to you and tell you that you needed to roll up your car windows in case it rained. I don't care. If one of my dead relatives needs to tell me something they can say it and gtfo. I'm not about ghosts or ghost accessories. Literally EVERYONE else in my family is and it just annoys the shit out of me. I'm not saying that ghosts don't exist or that there is no afterlife, I'm just saying that it doesn't particularly interest me, and if I die and have access to up to 16 other planes of existence (as is traditional) I'm sure as fuck not hanging around here. I might come back occasionally out of curiosity to see how the kid's doing but I'm not going to HAUNT her. I'm going to go see how long the lines to hang out with my favorite dead celebrities are.

 

[CandiCame]

I watch people die a lot. I know what I see. there's a tipping point. you'd know it if you saw it. a person can be technically terminal for months before they suddenly tip towards end game. stop being a know-it-all twat.

When I said, "What's wrong with you" I didn't mean your philosophy, I meant your body. The OP made me think that you were dying and I was wondering what was wrong. As in: Why are you dying? I just realized how you took that and why you thought that I was being an even BIGGER asshole than I actually was, and I'm sorry I worded it weird. I've had a rough couple days.