Emo-Porn romance genre? Egads, Focus on the Family got one right.

[LJ_Reloaded]

I'm more stunned than any of you are that they actually have a clue about anything. I wouldn't trust this bunch to get the time of day right. But they nailed this one on the head, particularly this segment:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/mar...ity/corrosive_influence_of_porn_on_wives.aspx

Loneliness strikes at the heart of both husbands and wives, but tends to plunge deeper into the emotional expanse of women. This is one reason why wives are seduced by “emo-porn,” virtual infidelity that is more emotionally satisfying before it physically pleases. But like salt water, it creates a worsening thirst. With emo-porn, fantasy men perform stunningly between the sheets of conversation, emotional understanding, and emotional dexterity. Most mortal men cannot deliver such behavior, the way men do in soap operas and romance novels. Just as wives rightly complain when compared to the artificially created women of Internet porn, men should complain when compared to the artificial men of daytime television. Interesting, isn’t it, how they have such exciting jobs—no Joe The Plumbers. In the real world where real men burn through a lot of emotional battery life to make a real living, being expected to behave like men who don’t exist is more than wrong. It’s cruel.

Emo-porn creates caricatures in the minds and hearts of wives. Most men just aren’t and cannot be that attentive, especially in marriage where responsibilities to provide weigh heavy upon them. Husbands are quietly deemed unresponsive and uncaring when compared to emotionally dexterous hunks of daytime lore, chat rooms, celebrity rags, and romance novels. Thus a secretive and snowballing form of marital discontent is born and nurtured.

This is the primary reason why the older "classic" romance genre is pure BS. The worsening thirst effect cannot be denied: it's the same with visual porn for men.

Romance stories are better when done with people that ain't perfect.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm more stunned than any of you are that they actually have a clue about anything. I wouldn't trust this bunch to get the time of day right. But they nailed this one on the head, particularly this segment:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/mar...ity/corrosive_influence_of_porn_on_wives.aspx


This is the primary reason why the older "classic" romance genre is pure BS. The worsening thirst effect cannot be denied: it's the same with visual porn for men.

Romance stories are better when done with people that ain't perfect.

Just like only insecure women are intimidated by porn, only insecure men should feel threatened by the, romantic sensitive types who woo the women on the soaps.

Besides women are not the only ones intimidated by porn. Watch one lately? Gone are the days of Ron Jeremy. The guys they got in these things are as attractive as the women. The industry caught on that more-not less-women are watching and got themselves some eye candy.

Women are no longer intimidated by porn they're watching it as much as the guys. You need to gt yourself out of how things were when you were a kid in the friggin fifties, stop pushing your hang ups off on others and get a life.

Or you could just go watch some porn.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Just like only insecure women are intimidated by porn, only insecure men should feel threatened by the, romantic sensitive types who woo the women on the soaps.

Besides women are not the only ones intimidated by porn. Watch one lately? Gone are the days of Ron Jeremy. The guys they got in these things are as attractive as the women. The industry caught on that more-not less-women are watching and got themselves some eye candy.

Yeah I've seen those super studs. They don't intimidate me because they ain't got much over on me. If they did I'd be worried and you'd probably have a point about that.

Women are no longer intimidated by porn they're watching it as much as the guys.

That's a stretch. No, a big stretch. More women are watching porn, but nothing close to as much as men are. The vast majority women out there that would still string you up for mentioning porn, much less having any around.

Besides, I wasn't talking about video porn, I was talking mainly about books. The sooner the classic romance genre is utterly wiped out in favor of the (painfully slow growing) plus sized woman and geeky guy aka "imperfect people" romance genre, the better.

 

[TE999]

Now that more women are producing and directing porn flicks, the days of Johnny Wadd and Shauna Grant are long gone. There are actual plots and decent acting in between the action scenes, not all the women are dyed blonde, silicone enhanced sex bombs and the men aren't all hairy chested and hung like Shetland ponies. Porn has come of age.

 

[lovecraft68]

Yeah I've seen those super studs. They don't intimidate me because they ain't got much over on me. If they did I'd be worried and you'd probably have a point about that.


That's a stretch. No, a big stretch. More women are watching porn, but nothing close to as much as men are. The vast majority women out there that would still string you up for mentioning porn, much less having any around.

Besides, I wasn't talking about video porn, I was talking mainly about books. The sooner the classic romance genre is utterly wiped out in favor of the (painfully slow growing) plus sized woman and geeky guy aka "imperfect people" romance genre, the better.

Well on that note you're not following the trends. Know what the romance trend is right now LJ?

Vampires. Not Dracula vampires. I mean whiny whimpy, pretty, sensitive and yes romantic vampires. Twilight ad infinitum! Seriously that is who the girls are leaning towards now.

That is who we need to compare ourselves to now. Funny I never found the idea of a dead fuck all that appealing.

Yeah I know that was bad, but I've had few. (drinks not vampires)

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Well on that note you're not following the trends. Know what the romance trend is right now LJ?

Vampires. Not Dracula vampires. I mean whiny whimpy, pretty, sensitive and yes romantic vampires.

Vampires were always romantic. But wimpy? Really? I'll give you Bloodsucking Fiends (well, that's not so much a romance, but still it kinda qualifies) or maybe even Black Dagger Brotherhood's Zsadist character - that guy came out the gate pretty fucked up emotionally.* (What was that word that was going around... "rhuined"? ) But... you're saying that is a trend?

* Anyone want to chance a guess as to how many of Christine Feehan's Carpathians it would take to bring down Zsadist? Say, if one of them tried to speak a binding phrase to his wife?

 

[sunandshadow]

Ridiculous. Romance novels of any variety do not need to be "wiped out" any more than porn featuring artificially perfect female bodies does. People who get married need to know how to appreciate what they've got regardless of the fact that it's different from their fantasies, and that's true of every single long term relationship. There's no such thing as a perfect partner. There's always someone more attractive or charming or sensitive or whatever living down the road, such temptations are by no means limited to books and video.

 

[Themoodyone]

Probably the wives who are vulnerable to being caught up in an emo-porn addiction are not completely honest with their husbands about their needs.

The freedom of anonymity affords you the ability to bare your deepest desires to a perfect stranger, which is only simulated intimacy. Simulations are by definition, perfect, because they are designed to be.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

There's always someone more attractive or charming or sensitive or whatever living down the road, such temptations are by no means limited to books and video.

Okay now that cannot be denied.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Just like only insecure women are intimidated by porn, only insecure men should feel threatened by the, romantic sensitive types who woo the women on the soaps.

Besides women are not the only ones intimidated by porn. Watch one lately? Gone are the days of Ron Jeremy. The guys they got in these things are as attractive as the women. The industry caught on that more-not less-women are watching and got themselves some eye candy.

Women are no longer intimidated by porn they're watching it as much as the guys. You need to gt yourself out of how things were when you were a kid in the friggin fifties, stop pushing your hang ups off on others and get a life.

Or you could just go watch some porn.

There was porn in the Fifties, but not videotapes. They were called stag movies, and they were grainy, black and white 8mm film with no sound. They were also illegal.

 

[3113]

What Daytime Television?

Um, the quoted paragraph doesn't focus on romance novels--it focuses on Daytime Television. You do know that there are almost no remaining daytime soaps or television drama shows on, right? You do know that there are none such men to watch or see anymore--and that these daytime television shows went off the air because not enough women were watching them (not because of how they portrayed men, but because they weren't easy to enter into, thus they couldn't get new viewers).

The days of Luke and Laura are long gone. Which means, LJ that you got your wish. Rejoice! Emo men no longer can threaten real men--at least, not on daytime television.

We will grant, however, that the emo guy still lives, literally brought back from the dead as emo-vampires of the nighttime supernatural genre. Emo-vampires not only need to be attentive, but positively stalker-ish and obsessed with their women...then again, they really don't have much else to do outside of getting their nightly drink of blood. Who needs a job when a crypt and 8oz of O- will suffice? I kinda suspect, however, that women know that they're not going to find real men like this...if they think they are, then you have a worse problem on your hands than a woman wanting you to be "emo." She also wants you to be over 100 years old and undead.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Um, the quoted paragraph doesn't focus on romance novels--it focuses on Daytime Television. You do know that there are almost no remaining daytime soaps or television drama shows on, right? You do know that there are none such men to watch or see anymore--and that these daytime television shows went off the air because not enough women were watching them (not because of how they portrayed men, but because they weren't easy to enter into, thus they couldn't get new viewers).

The days of Luke and Laura are long gone. Which means, LJ that you got your wish. Rejoice! Emo men no longer can threaten real men--at least, not on daytime television.

We will grant, however, that the emo guy still lives, literally brought back from the dead as emo-vampires of the nighttime supernatural genre. Emo-vampires not only need to be attentive, but positively stalker-ish and obsessed with their women...then again, they really don't have much else to do outside of getting their nightly drink of blood. Who needs a job when a crypt and 8oz of O- will suffice? I kinda suspect, however, that women know that they're not going to find real men like this...if they think they are, then you have a worse problem on your hands than a woman wanting you to be "emo." She also wants you to be over 100 years old and undead.

I would certainly not say there are no soaps anymore. Here is a link showing a list of them: http://soaps.sheknows.com/

There may not be as many as there used to be, but they certainly still exist.

There used to be a soap featuring a vampire: http://round2models.com/models/mpc/dark-shadows-barnabas

ETA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Dark_Shadows

In fact, this show and movie might have been the root of the popularity of vampires today.

 

[3113]

I would certainly not say there are no soaps anymore. Here is a link showing a list of them: http://soaps.sheknows.com/

I'm sorry, Box, but that's exactly my point. That there's a lot fewer than there were and getting fewer very quickly. They're going, going, gone! One after another they're vanishing from daytime television and the REASON is because they can't get new viewers. THIS means that all anyone has to fear from the remaining shows--barely holding on with their fingernails--is that women over forty (the primary viewers of those shows on their last legs) will want emo men. Not that a new generation is growing up to think men are like this.

If the argument is that daytime television has a bad influence on women then one has to prove that enough women of a young enough age (i.e. who have no real experience with life and men to know it's all fiction) are watching it. Both the death of such shows and the demographics make the argument moot. I mean, I'd say nighttime shows (hospital dramas, things like "House" and "The Mentalist") beats out daytimes soaps as an influence, wouldn't you?

Once again, I think LJ got his wish--at least where soaps are concerned. Unlike in days of yore, few women are being influenced by them. I'd be like me arguing that men are being influenced by televised shuffleboard games. They still exist, and some men still watch them, but how much of a threat can they be given how few there are and how few viewers they get--and the demographics of that viewership?

There used to be a soap featuring a vampire: http://round2models.com/models/mpc/dark-shadows-barnabas

True, but irrelevant as it's been off the air for forty years. But, yes, they're making a movie in order to cash in on the popularity of vampires.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

The days of Luke and Laura are long gone. Which means, LJ that you got your wish. Rejoice! Emo men no longer can threaten real men--at least, not on daytime television.

And now I can hope the same trend will subsume the written romance genre, too!

 

[Stella_Omega]

My female friends all love Dexter.

So be an autistic serial killer, guys. Having a pair of bright blue eyes wouldn't hurt.

In a box in your pocket, in necessary.

 

[rgraham666]

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And now I can hope the same trend will subsume the written romance genre, too!

Sadly for you, the trend is now turning to perfect gentleman Domly Doms that read women's minds and allow those women to SUBMITTT in perfect perfection. These Doms never talk about finding another girl to add to their submissive stable, they only want HER (now that they've found her.)

The goddam thing that really gets me is that if the writer includes ONE line about safewords, they get lauded for their realism.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sadly for you, the trend is now turning to perfect gentleman Domly Doms that read women's minds and allow those women to SUBMITTT in perfect perfection. These Doms never talk about finding another girl to add to their submissive stable, they only want HER (now that they've found her.)

The goddam thing that really gets me is that if the writer includes ONE line about safewords, they get lauded for their realism.

Well, be fair Stella, if they know about safewords then they have to have lived the lifestyle no? I mean it's not like that's common knowledge!

You have to have a real deal Dom handbook to know that!

 

[3113]

Examples?

And now I can hope the same trend will subsume the written romance genre, too!

Really? Which current romances have you read and what objections, specifically, to how men were depicted in those romances do you have? I'd love to hear which romance writers you feel are particularly egregious in how they present men. A few quotes or examples from the books you've read would also help for us to see the validity of your objections to them.

I mean, you wouldn't ask us to agree with your objection to romances just because you *believe* they offer an unrealistic view of men, right? No more than we should agree with women arguing that popular, FX channel shows are misogynistic because that's what they believe. They should be able to say they've watched these shows and be able to offer examples to support their thesis.

So. Can you offer us some examples? Preferably from current big sellers.

 

[lovecraft68]

Really? Which current romances have you read and what objections, specifically, to how men were depicted in those romances do you have? I'd love to hear which romance writers you feel are particularly egregious in how they present men. A few quotes or examples from the books you've read would also help for us to see the validity of your objections to them.

I mean, you wouldn't ask us to agree with your objection to romances just because you *believe* they offer an unrealistic view of men, right? No more than we should agree with women arguing that popular, FX channel shows are misogynistic because that's what they believe. They should be able to say they've watched these shows and be able to offer examples to support their thesis.

So. Can you offer us some examples? Preferably from current big sellers.

I get home three hours before my wife does. Today I did the dishes, a load of laundry and vacuumed.

I think every other man reading this should scoff at how unrealistic I am.

I also plan on greeting her at the door, helping her with dinner, and later on (depending on what shoes she's wearing) will rub her feet for her.

I think that I am lying. This must be propaganda. This statement must be being written by one of those romance authors who live to make knuckle draggers ummm I mean real men feel inadequate.

No man does those things! Not one of them treat their women in such a manner it is a fairy tale!

Oh by the way, I can't cook to save my life, but I am one hell of a dancer. Just another unrealistic detail of a completely false version of a man.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Well, be fair Stella, if they know about safewords then they have to have lived the lifestyle no? I mean it's not like that's common knowledge!

You have to have a real deal Dom handbook to know that!

I have to disagree with you. I have NEVER been involved in any form of D/s and I have never written about it. I have never been involved in BDSM but I have written about it a few times. Some of those times I wrote fiction about actual torture or abuse, NOT role playing, and there were no safewords. Other times there were safewords but I have never had anybody use one.

I have also written about role playing the rape of a woman by a man or men. The safeword is when she addresses a man by name.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Umm, box. Ahaha. Sarcasm, baby, that's all it was.

 

[3113]

I get home three hours before my wife does. Today I did the dishes, a load of laundry and vacuumed.

I also plan on greeting her at the door, helping her with dinner, and later on (depending on what shoes she's wearing) will rub her feet for her.

See! There ya go, proving LJ's point! Obviously, your wife reads romances and, influenced by these, has demanded that you be this emo. It's obvious that you are catering to her fantasy-based expectations.

Come on, Lovecraft. You can admit to us how cruel and inhuman it's been for you to try and live up to this romance-novel cum daytime-television ideal. We'll be happy to help you get back to being Joe the plumber; a real man rather than an emo-porn caricature.

 

[lovecraft68]

See! There ya go, proving LJ's point! Obviously, your wife reads romances and, influenced by these, has demanded that you be this emo. It's obvious that you are catering to her fantasy-based expectations.

Come on, Lovecraft. You can admit to us how cruel and inhuman it's been for you to try and live up to this romance-novel cum daytime-television ideal. We'll be happy to help you get back to being Joe the plumber; a real man rather than an emo-porn caricature.

Yes please help me! In the days before she read these romances, I drank with the boys, fucked her like an animal, drank milk straight out of the carton and barely even showered.

Now today.... I..... bought her flowers.

 

[lovecraft68]

Umm, box. Ahaha. Sarcasm, baby, that's all it was.

Thanks Stella, I thought it was me.