Embracing The Kinky Side?

[CatherineDoll]

My boyfriend and I are trying to think of ways to spice up our sex life but some of the thigns he finds sexy I don't at all. He finds spanking with a paddle and light whipping very sexy, bbut says its not the pain he likes but the act. The idea of this at all really frightens me, but I want to make him feel good. He says he wants me to embrace my kinky side, but when I ask how he says he wants me to think of something on my own.

So does anyone have any slightly kinky ideas that would bring my guy mind blowing orgasms?

 

[fire_breeze]

My boyfriend and I are trying to think of ways to spice up our sex life but some of the thigns he finds sexy I don't at all. He finds spanking with a paddle and light whipping very sexy, bbut says its not the pain he likes but the act. The idea of this at all really frightens me, but I want to make him feel good. He says he wants me to embrace my kinky side, but when I ask how he says he wants me to think of something on my own.

So does anyone have any slightly kinky ideas that would bring my guy mind blowing orgasms?

Does he know that the idea frightens you? Did you sit him down and explained to him that this idea really scares you? It's hard to enjoy something if you are scared. If it's something you want to try, then maybe baby steps (like light playful swats and working it up, but always what you feel comfortable with). And just a thought, do you have a safeword?

The next question is what do YOU find kinky? Not everyone is made the same, and therefore a person's idea of kinky is different from someone else's. Kink does not necessarily have to involve pain, whipping and spanking. You could be tied up (or tie him up) and tease him with a feather, ice, pasta bike, fingers, whatever until one of you can't take it anymore. Do something that you've always wanted to try but for one reason or another didn't. Blindfold each other. Have phone sex with each other. Dominate him or be dominated (within accepted parameters). There's a world of possibilities out there, with ideas to explore. You embrace yourself and what the word 'kinky' means to you.

If you want some BDSM oriented ideas, the folks at the BDSM Talk and BDSM Cafe can help you. Apparently, they don't bite... unless asked

Good luck

 

[sunandshadow]

More idea of non-painful things that are a bit kinky: blindfolds, taking turns giving each other an order or dare to do some foreplay activity, putting chocolate syrup or whipped cream or similar on someone's body and licking it off, drinking something cold immediately before giving oral sex, or holding a fizzy drink in your mouth while doing so. Roleplay, maybe with a costume - did you ever think it would be great to be a queen, a slave girl, a pampered pet, an amazon warrior...? Wearing no underwear (and telling your boyfriend you aren't) while having a romantic dinner out. Maybe even something as innocent as setting up a tent in the back yard and having sex in it, or one of you doing a bit of a strip tease for the other.

 

[Serenity_65]

There are lots of ways the two of you can explore a more exciting or kinky sexual experience.

Bathe/massage each other.
The use of toys or vibes on yourself of him.
Oral or toy/vibe play with him but don't allow him to touch back.
Take sexy bedroom pictures of each other.
Act out a porn role, or create your own personal porn movie to playback later.
Visit an adult store together and you each make a list of things you see that you'd like to try. Then compare lists and buy something you can both enjoy.

These may be lame to some or over the top to others, but you can enjoy the time with each other trying to find something that is right for you and that you are both comfortable with.

Have fun and check back in! I'd love to know what you decide that kinks you up!

 

[nanette09]

I'm in the same boat, or there abouts, as CatherineDoll. I have been trying to spice up my marriage. My husband likes the dominant stuff, but I have a hard getting into it. Recently, I've tried reading to him in a sultry voice...this has really seemed to help. Especially if it is a dominitrix story of sorts...

I've been trying to embrace my kinky side, only find out I don't have much of one. To the point when he asked me to look up something kinky on the net, I literally typed in "kinky" because I have no clue.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

You haven't stipulated whether you're being dominant or submissive for him. That'd be a good start.

 

[SweetErika]

My boyfriend and I are trying to think of ways to spice up our sex life but some of the thigns he finds sexy I don't at all.

We all have our limits, likes and dislikes, but I'd encourage you to keep an open mind.

I've found A LOT of things that I never considered sexy to be very exciting when I opened my mind and tried them out. Quite a few of my hard limits have even become things I enjoy with time and experience.

We're certainly not the same, but my point is, 'that's not sexy' can become, 'that's exciting!' fairly easily if one is willing to give the activity a shot and find pleasure in it.

He finds spanking with a paddle and light whipping very sexy, bbut says its not the pain he likes but the act.

Does he want to be spanked, or spank you?

If he wants to be spanked, I'd suggest discussing it and giving it a go by starting out lightly and asking for plenty of feedback.

The idea of this at all really frightens me, but I want to make him feel good.

Do you know why it scares you so much?

He says he wants me to embrace my kinky side, but when I ask how he says he wants me to think of something on my own.

That's kind of passive aggressive, IMO, because things like this often require lots of communication and clear boundaries for everyone to feel comfortable.

You could insist on going through a comprehensive BDSM checklist together to see where your interests and lie. It should give you both some ideas, and if it comes down to you choosing activities, at least you'll have a "safe" selection to research and choose from.

So does anyone have any slightly kinky ideas that would bring my guy mind blowing orgasms?

No. I have no idea what your definition of "(slightly) kinky" is, or what either of you likes, dislikes or calls a limit.

Since you are more privy to that info, you might want to look through The Blank Manual and BDSM Library stickies, as well as go through a BDSM checklist, to see what seems like a good match for you two. Better yet, go through the resources together and discuss the options as you go along.

 

[sugaredwalls]

lol, at googling kinky, that must of been quite a return on the hits you got from it!

Kinky is subjective, something one person finds kinky may be perfectly normal to someone else.

My SO and I have only been together for a little over 3 months. He was used to straight up, strictly vanilla sex with his ex wife, so it's been really fun watching him release his "inner kink".

Recently, I was behind him rubbing his back with some massage oil and of course I reached down and started playing with his cock but he had a better idea. He had me sit behind him and wrap my legs around his waist so he could rub oil all over my feet and then rubbed them all up and down his cock until he came all over the place. It was so hot and such a turn on.

 

[tonightsthenigh]

So does anyone have any slightly kinky ideas that would bring my guy mind blowing orgasms?

Hi Catherine --

Somebody already mentioned it --- but have a safe word before trying anything.

some ideas:

G-spot play
Night of Porn
No Cumming
One Free Flogging
Man in Panties
One Body Sundae
A Night of Bondage
Clitty Nibbles
Talk Dirty to Me
Anal Evening
Master for a Night
Snowball
Exhibitionist
Little Slave Girl
Lap Dancing
Threesome
My First Anal Experience
Mutual Masturbation
Oily Massage
Let’s Not Get Caught
That New Vibrator
Golden Shower
Voyeur Time
How Many Licks
Fisting
French Maid
A Sexy Cyber Fucking
My Porno Queen
Sex in the Shower
Prostitute for a night
Mmmmm .... Latex
Hand Job While Driving
Double Dong
Naughty Spankings

 

[CNYCarol]

some ideas:

G-spot play
Night of Porn
No Cumming
One Free Flogging
Man in Panties
One Body Sundae
A Night of Bondage
Clitty Nibbles
Talk Dirty to Me
Anal Evening
Master for a Night
Snowball
Exhibitionist
Little Slave Girl
Lap Dancing
Threesome
My First Anal Experience
Mutual Masturbation
Oily Massage
Let’s Not Get Caught
That New Vibrator
Voyeur Time
How Many Licks
Fisting
French Maid
A Sexy Cyber Fucking
My Porno Queen
Sex in the Shower
Prostitute for a night
Mmmmm .... Latex
Hand Job While Driving
Double Dong
Naughty Spankings

As I told my husband YEARS ago, "only 4 things are forbidden, pain, humiliation, potty games and animals" Beyond that I will try anything twice!

PS: Believe me, there is only one sexual act you will ever regret, that would be the one you never try!

 

[infinity706]

I'm pretty sure you'd probably like pain as long as you don't overdo it. It actually works sort of like a runner in a marathon where you don't even feel it when your in the moment.

 

[ThunderPark]

Since he told you what he likes, you need to tell him what turns you on. What kinds of stories turn you on. Communication is key. I here people complain about their sex lives, yet they say their relationship is great. Do you want to be that or have it all. When I was younger I would go to adult stores but unless you live in a big city where the selection is thorogh it won't get you far. Literotica is great source to explore. From anal to cuckolding to exposure to toys you can find the kinkier things that float your boat. I've been married for 12 yrs it's more fun now than when we were 18. When we met we were bushy now she uses tweezers to pluck it into shape 3-4 times a week before bed. She won't go bald though and that is good enough for us both. She won't shave but she got used to wax, then had it laser removed. She won't wear a miniskirt but will wear a tight sweater with no bra. Get into what makes you both happy.

 

[Submission13]

Sex is the easy part, communication is where the real work begins. Talk and listen to each other! Have fun!