Embarrassment as Interruption

[NemoAlia]

So today I was mid-scene with my very loved and loving Dom, and suddenly I couldn't continue. I wanted to curl up under a rug and hide my face. A combination of work intrusions, mechanical issues, nervousness about the novelty of what we were trying to do, plus just my headspace at the time I guess. But I had to beg off, run to the shower, and hope that he would have cleaned things up so I wouldn't have to look at them when I got back. 'Cause wow, it was like my whole body just decided sex was damn silly and no self-respecting person would be caught dead doing it.

Anyone have similar experiences? Thoughts or advice?

 

[evesdream]

That's really deep Nemoalia. I don't know how useful my comments might be for you but I want to bump this thread up for more input. The closest I've ever come to that recently is only in fantasizing about a rape-scene, typical fare, that suddenly repulsed me for no apparent reason. My conflict over my sexuality goes way back as I suspect your's has too. It's just strange when feelings you'd thought were dealt with before suddenly resurface or appear in a slightly different guise.

 

[Marquis]

Good to see you NemoAlia.

 

[Kierae]

It definitely sounds like you hit triggers of some sorts and need to look if it was the combination of things (being tired, stress of every day life intruding) and/or the new activity that possibly has some historical connotations for you. I have had similar experiences (ranging from these kind of feelings to the full blown emotional/physical reactions).

My guess is it was just a combination of things for you and wouldn't worry too much. If it happens again, then I would take a step back to ponder what exactly is triggering you. The mind is a powerful thing - we bury all kinds of shit in it, thinking we have dealt with issues and it tends to suddenly surface or come out sideways (and guaranteed to be inopportune times )

~kierae

 

[graceanne]

So today I was mid-scene with my very loved and loving Dom, and suddenly I couldn't continue. I wanted to curl up under a rug and hide my face. A combination of work intrusions, mechanical issues, nervousness about the novelty of what we were trying to do, plus just my headspace at the time I guess. But I had to beg off, run to the shower, and hope that he would have cleaned things up so I wouldn't have to look at them when I got back. 'Cause wow, it was like my whole body just decided sex was damn silly and no self-respecting person would be caught dead doing it.

Anyone have similar experiences? Thoughts or advice?

I'm a little confused as to what happened. Did you get embarrassed, and loose your interest in sex? Cause I've done that. We've learned that if mirrors are to be inlolved or near us during sex that I need to be blindfolded. Seeing my body grosses me out and kills any interest I have in sex. As long as their's no mirror I can pretend that I'm skinny.

 

[Killishandra]

I'm a little confused as to what happened. Did you get embarrassed, and loose your interest in sex? Cause I've done that. We've learned that if mirrors are to be inlolved or near us during sex that I need to be blindfolded. Seeing my body grosses me out and kills any interest I have in sex. As long as their's no mirror I can pretend that I'm skinny.

Skinny shminny. You're a sexy bitch, Gracie, and you know it.

/hijack

 

[graceanne]

One of the these days I'm gonna allow someone to take a picture of me as I normally look, and then you all will see. Their are reasons their are large gaps in they years between pictures I will share. It's cause I don't normally look that good.

 

[NemoAlia]

. . . . Did you get embarrassed, and loose your interest in sex? . . . .

Yes, that's exactly what happened!

Mirrors have been used as sexy humiliation tools for me, and they worked quite well. This was a totally different sort of embarrassment for me. This was less a personal embarrassment and more of an embarrassment for both of us, for humanity in general. Like, "Oh my god, I can't believe people actually get _off_ on this whole sex thing!"

 

[NemoAlia]

Good to see you NemoAlia.

The pleasure is all mine, Marquis!

 

[Quint]

Howdy, Nemo! Gotta add myself to the list of happy-to-see-you-ers; to date, there's only been one person to write a limerick about me.

Hmmmmm...this was a topic I don't think has ever really come up. Sometimes mid-scene/coitus, I lose all interest and get bored, but the only times I've ever felt childish or immature or silly (the closest adjectives to what I'm reading in your post) have been related to situations of roleplay or, strangely enough, exercise. When I feel out of my element, like I'd rather just do what I do and not go any more than that. Was there any of that sense of character displacement, or was it you feeling awkward being you? That's much harder to figure out, I think.

 

[NemoAlia]

. . . . Was there any of that sense of character displacement, or was it you feeling awkward being you? . . . .

We weren't role-playing, and I didn't feel particularly out of my element. Definitely out of my sex or D/s headspace, though. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, my soul looking down and thinking, "Silly humans!" And then, whoosh, the realization that it's actually I who's involved in that ridiculous sex.

I'm so glad to see you, Quint! Just knowing you're around makes my world a better place.

 

[Quint]

Hmmmmmmm!

I remember sometimes walking around at school and having this feeling of floating above my own head, wondering why exactly I was conforming to this routine and really, what would happen if I just walked right out of that building. But it just felt clinically curious, not appalled or squicked out or anything.

Reproduction is pretty funny though. And BDSM is even funnier. It's hard for me to go back to the mindset before I accepted whips and chains as a way of life, but I vaguely have a picture of rolling my eyes and saying "do you really DO that?" in chatrooms at an illegal age. I mean, really. Spanking?

Maybe it was a glitch in the synapses, maybe it was a flashback on a younger-and-less-kinky you. Have you felt weird since then?

 

[NemoAlia]

. . . . Have you felt weird since then?

No... But it took me a lot of convincing to try sex again later in the day. That turned out fine -- hopefully the embarrassment was a one-time experience.

 

[Etoile]

I actually get a trip like this once in a while. My brain just completely disconnects from everything that's going on around me and it's like I've just woken up in whatever awkward position or headspace I happen to be in. This usually sets off a panic attack for me and so everything has to stop. Daddy is still learning how to help with my panic attacks, it's been hard for me to coach em but it's better than it used to be. I am always terribly ashamed when this happens; I know it's caused by chemical issues but I still feel like it's my fault. It's tough. I don't have the answer, but I know where you were.

 

[pinkeden]

roadblock

I'm not an active BDSM Girl, but I will contribute.

I get this more often than not with sex at all. I'll be fine and really wanting sex, then I realise what's going on- and for some reason (my upbringing, and [trust] issues from my childhood are my best bets) I freak out. It's exactly like you describe Nemo; but I don't really have time to intellectualize it all at that moment

My reactions are bad, sometimes I panic attack, most times I'll end up vomiting. Complete physical (and sometimes emotional) nervous reaction - it's the same as when I get very upset. It's horrible, especially when I do feel horny, and I*do* want sex, but I end up rushing to the bathroom to puke, mid-play, then try and explain that "It's not you, trust me."

I find it's more an issue of trust for me- and even when I am with someone I trust, things can still go awry.

Because this is more of a normal thing for me, I try to keep myself rational, and deep breathing, and try to stay in the moment! Positive sex thoughts

I wish I had advice, but everyone else has said what I possibly could. Just know that it happens and it doesn't make you a freak, and do what feels right.!

 

[Netzach]

I've had times where I've been masturbating and all of a sudden I kind of see myself in my minds' eye and think "fuck, I must look like the biggest moron ever."

While this is kind of a cold shower, I think it only made me actually stop once.

Other than that only prednisone can stop my libido!

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... Other than that only prednisone can stop my libido!

Congrats on finding something.

Not even cold medication (which makes maintaining an erection interesting) keeps me from my one a day orgasm.

And then we have those days when i get hungry ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

 

[graceanne]

blood loss will KILL a libido. I guarantee it.

 

[Private_Label]

Other than that only prednisone can stop my libido!

Heh... I have problems with Trazadone (anti-anxiety). One of the side effects is Priapism. It is really extremely frustrating to be horney as all get out and be unable to do anything more than rub the button raw and not get anything out of it except exhaustion, and irritated.

 

[Etoile]

Heh... I have problems with Trazadone (anti-anxiety). One of the side effects is Priapism. It is really extremely frustrating to be horney as all get out and be unable to do anything more than rub the button raw and not get anything out of it except exhaustion, and irritated.

Funny you should mention that, PL. Right this moment I am whimpering over an abraded clitoris! It's been that way for at least six hours and it has gotten better but I am still unhappy. For me it's Celexa although I do take Trazodone for insomnia (you have to take it with food for that).

My clit says ouch.

 

[Gil_T2]

I'm a little confused as to what happened. Did you get embarrassed, and loose your interest in sex? Cause I've done that. We've learned that if mirrors are to be inlolved or near us during sex that I need to be blindfolded. Seeing my body grosses me out and kills any interest I have in sex. As long as their's no mirror I can pretend that I'm skinny.

My sub & love of my life BANDIT have been through her not believing in herself after her many years in a bad marrage but she is growing in self confidence & as far as your self image Grace you are wrong from what I have seen of you so get them mirrors sparkling clean & toss the blindfold too.

end

 

[lassarina]

For me the kicker is needle play or anything involving blood. i'm a paramedic so i shift into work mode when i see or feel blood. Stray thoughts like "Is he using aseptic technique?" or "Is that area sterile?" seem to rum rampant through my mind. Also because i'm a supervisor at work it moves me out of a submissive mode into a dominant one. i've tried needle play several times with the same results so i've moved that into my "i'll take a pass on that" category.

 

[Gil_T2]

I've had times where I've been masturbating and all of a sudden I kind of see myself in my minds' eye and think "fuck, I must look like the biggest moron ever."

While this is kind of a cold shower, I think it only made me actually stop once.

Other than that only prednisone can stop my libido!

You very wrong about looking like a moron when masterbating as I just love watching my lady playing with herself, it's very erotic so get that idea out of you head.

Can BANDIT & I watch you.

 

[Recidiva]

I've had times where I've been masturbating and all of a sudden I kind of see myself in my minds' eye and think "fuck, I must look like the biggest moron ever."

While this is kind of a cold shower, I think it only made me actually stop once.

Other than that only prednisone can stop my libido!

Fortunately me looking like a moron is all part of the fun for me.

That's a given.

It's when I realize that everybody doesn't think they all know they look like morons all the time that I feel sad and that everyone isn't in on the joke all the time that I feel I should excuse myself...