Embarrassing Moments

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Um, there was the time i reached out to hug my best friend from behind- it wasnt her...

I rubbed my husband's shoulders at the In-laws table. . .it was my brother-in-law and his wife and my husband caught the act before my mind registered their funny stares. I blinked, jumped about six feet back and apologized up one side and down the other.

 

[SeaCat]

I rubbed my husband's shoulders at the In-laws table. . .it was my brother-in-law and his wife and my husband caught the act before my mind registered their funny stares. I blinked, jumped about six feet back and apologized up one side and down the other.

For my wife it was at Christmas a few years ago.

We were at my parents place and she walked into the kitchen. She saw me standing there and proceeded to give me a shoulder/back rub. Then she was stratled when my father turned around and confronted her.

To sat my wife was embarrased would be an understatement.

Cat

 

[impressive]

Gotta be when I told the JCPenney catalog operator: "Love you. Bye."

I have an airport baggage search story, but it was more amusing than embarrassing. I was kinda hoping that she'd pull out my big, black cock and wave it around. (I warned her, though ... and she thanked me.)

 

[slyc_willie]

My embarrassing moments . . .

Oh my, I have so many . . . .

Where would I begin?

 

[Misty_Morning]

Well, this may not qualify for my own thread but here goes. (BTW I eluded to this story to another person in another thread)

When I was married, my husband and I would frequently go to visit his folks in an historic sothern town where thay lived. Generally he would either go hunting or fishing with his father and/or brother and I would spend endless hours with his mother. Now his parents were beyond conservative to say the least, so you can only imagine just how well I fit into the scheme of things.

Well, on this one particular occasion, my ex was out hunting with his father while I spent the day shopping with his mom. Towards the end of the day we had to run by the grocery store for a few items for supper that evening. All was going well until we put the grocery sacks in her trunk.

I cannot for the life of me remember what triggered her train of thought. But as we got in her car and began to drive she began recalling a conversation she had with her next door neighbor. Apparently they were both out working in their flower beds and the neighbor somehow brought up the topic of oral sex. From what I understand she was quite explicit. This just totally blew my former mother in laws mind.

As my former mom in law began talking things became very surrealistic. Here I am stuck in a moving vehicle with a woman that thought that Satan had placed dinosaur bones into rock in order to sway the convictions of christians. And she's talking about blow jobs.

Well, from that point on, I entered the twilight zone...time and space ceased to exist. A few hundred yards from the point of the conversation beginning we had to stop a traffic light. While I had to endure a "blow by blow" recantation of the conversation I just writhed in my seat praying for death.

The light soon changed and we were on our way. And so was she, never missing a beat. I was desperately trying to find some way to change the topic of conversation. As we passed the Dairy Queen I said, "Oh look, you know I can't remeber the last time I had a blizzard." So she pulled into the drive through. Now I can't have stuff like that cuz I am lactose intolerant and reminded her of that. And I also thought ...good, no more discussion of blow jobs with my MIL. WRONG!!

As we got back on the road she started up again and again and again. I was dying. All I could do was say things like..."Some People" or "Well, it takes all kinds" or "really?" or "I just can't imagine." The whole time I was searching for some method to either end the conversation or my life.

As we passed over the Mississippi Bridge I first noted the fact that there was only one casino barge present in this city whereas there were many at other locations...didn't work. Then while still on the bridge I looked down at the river and proclaimed how low the water level seemed. Didn't work. The whole time I had to listened to my ex MILtalk about how disgusting she thought oral sex was and the very detailed descriptions provided to her by her neighbor.


As we crossed into another state I saw my opportunity...I said "Hey, do they EVER take down the Xmas lights off of that tree?" Her reply..."No...Xmas will just come 'round again" And just like Xmas so did she....Please understand this woman was being VERY descriptive and this was not like her.

As we turned and drove past a Catholic church I saw another opportunity. "Look at all the cars...I wonder what's going on." Her reply..."Oh you know those Catholics, they're always having Mass...but then you know what she said to me?" My eyes simply rolled into the back of my skull as I figured I had died and this was hell and I was doomed to endure it for all eternity.

But I still had some form of hope as we neared her residence. I was eagerly reading the road signs....Maple Street, Oak Street, Cyprus Street...where the fuck is Elm Street?

FINALLY...we pulled into her drive and I proclained..."Ah, we're home."

We then proceeded to remove the bags from the trunk and she just kept going on and on and on about her negative opinion of blow jobs. As we walked up to her door and she unlocked it she then began another "blow by blow" descrpition as if the sight of her neighbor's house triggered more memories.

As the door was opened I sighed a sigh of relief thinking this has got to stop soon or I am goona die. We walked in and placed the bags on the kitchen counter. As we did, I turned to her and she proclaimed (and it is burned into my memory for all eternity), "That is the LAST thing I would ever put in my mouth!" To which I replied..."I have to use the restroom." (With a straight face)

I stayed in the bathroom for the next hour and a half till my then husband returned home. What happened later that night is another story.


Like I said, it may not qualify under the guidlines of the thread...but to me...it was embarrassing...I'm just glad I somehow kept my cool and didn't bust out laughing.

 

[mdb913]

The only truly embarassing (yet oddly hilarious) thing that pops into my head right now is this one time in high school where I asked this one girl out.

Now, this girl was hot. She's your standard American high school bottle blond--great figure, awesome rack, an ass that you could stencil a perfect letter 'B' with, and a bona fide bitch. Problem is, I'm not exactly a looker. This kid at lunch sat across from me and he started staring at her, saying "God, I'd fuck the shit right out of her." I'm being that "Dude, don't say that about a lady" guy you hear about. He says, "Bullshit--chicks dig that. They want hot assholes with six-packs." Which is true when you're in high school, I know.

Now...please don't ask me where I got the courage for this. There must have been something in my chocolate milk. In any event, I saw that her friends diverted their attention. I stood up and said "Let me prove it." I walked me and my momentarily-gigantic balls over to her, plopped myself down in a nearby chair. I said, "[her name], can I ask you something?" She said, "Sure." Seeing as how she's fucking hot, I automatically assumed that she was seeing someone, so I said, "Hypothetically speaking, if you weren't dating anyone, would you go out with me?"

Here is where the humiliatingly hilarious part comes in.

She laughed.

She laughed so hard that milk came out her nose.

...Ladies and gentlemen, she was drinking 7-UP.

So, yeah, public rejection, but at least I got my kismetic comeuppance.

 

[SeaCat]

Okay here's another one.

I was on yet another search and rescue mission with the C.A.P.

My good friend Tito, (Antionette) was riding in the jeep with me. It was the middle of winter and bitterly cold. One of the others in the unit didn't like Tito and dumped several liters of water into Tito's Bedroll. By the time we got to the Bivouace it was frozen solid. (Not the first time this had happened.) Our C.O., a Captain knew about Tito and my friendship and told us to bunk together. (Not the first time this had happened that winter.) The only problem was I didn't have my personal tent this time. It had been damaged and was useless. We set up my bag in the General Purpose Tent.

Tito and I had first fire watch so we finally crashed after everyone else was in bed. We followed survival rules which stated that one slept in as little as possible in a sleeping bag in sub zero weather. (If you wear clothing in a sleeping bag you will sweat which means you you will freeze.) Yes it was kind of nice snuggling up to a slim and curvy young lay wearing nothing in a one man sleeping bag.

The next morning the Fire Watch had turned up the heater in the tent, bringing the temps up to nearly freezing. Tito and I crawled out of our sleeping bag in front of everyone and after pulling our clothes and boots out of the bag got dressed. It was kind of embarrassing to hear the comments but we honestly didn't care. e had been warm during the night, as we were over the next few nights.

Cat

 

[Misty_Morning]

Was talking with a friend on the phone a few minutes ago who called to tell me that she remembered me telling her about my conversation (?) with my former MIL about oral sex. Since she knew my ex-MIL, she got tickled had to call me, especially since she told the long drawn out story in it's entirety to some folks during a break at a professional conference.

Damn, I nearly passed out from laughing so hard.

I REALLY, REALLY needed the laugh and it got me to thinking about this thread.

Soooooo......thinking......what I have lately that's embarassing?

Well, it's not lately but it's embarassing.

About a week before I moved to my current locale, I noticed that my car stereo was only playing on two speakers (there's six). This is quite bothersome as I MUST have my tunes. So, I took time out from packing (didn't take much for that) to take my car to a audio shop as I thought that I might have blown out my speakers.

I sat in the lobby for over an hour while someone checked it out. A tech came in laughing and asked me to come outside. We sat in my car and he turned on the radio and looked at me. I looked at him and said, "see, it only plays out two speakers."

He then changed the station.




Apparently it was the station that I always listened to that had transmission problems, and not my stereo or the speakers. I never thought of changing the channel.


I did notice tho that the problem seemed to dissapear when I played CDs. And Yes, one of my job functions is to diagnose, troubleshoot and reapair VERY expensive scientific equipment. Can do that but not operate a car radio.


Truly a blonde moment.




No I'm NOT a blonde, I just look like it...take my word.




Ya know, this could have qualified for the "What makes you feel like an idiot thread." Got a few post there too. LOL

 

[flavortang]

My most embarrassing?

Well, about ten years ago, before I got married and had kids, I was working at this computer reseller in Buena Park, CA.

I went to a Carl's Jr. one day with a bunch of friends and got surprised by the cashier, who was a blonde girl with beautiful blue eyes. Never being the one to hit on anyone, I instinctively went against nature and said I was surprised at how beautiful her eyes were. I wasn't giving her a line, I was actually being honest. Anywho, I ate lunch there almost everyday and whenever I'd go, she'd serve me and we'd chit chat.

Over the course of two months we chit-chatted and flirted. I found out that her birthday was coming up on a certain day so I arranged for a florist to bring her some yellow roses at the time I'd be in there for lunch. So, I went to lunch with a female friend and waited for the florist to walk the roses over(the florist was across the street). Then, I saw the guy walk over, come inside and deliver the roses. The blonde girl was so surprised and flattered. So, I decided to go up and tell her they were from me.

She happily accepted them with this statement: "They're so beautiful! But I'll probably have to hide them from my boyfriend, though..."

Yeah, that's when my heart was crushed. I politely told her she didn't have to keep them, that she could throw them out, but she insisted on keeping them. I went back to my table, told my friend what she said and my friend was pissed. lol

Anywho, word got around to my other pals from work and they were pissed that the girl flirted with me for months and never said she had a boyfriend. Nevertheless, I didn't go back to that Carl's Jr. very much and when I did, I opted to get served by another cashier out of shame. I heard from friends that when they'd go to lunch, she'd ask about me.

I quit the job soon after and never saw her again. A good chunk of my chivalry died that day. lol

 

[Misty_Morning]

My most embarrassing?

Well, about ten years ago, before I got married and had kids, I was working at this computer reseller in Buena Park, CA.

I went to a Carl's Jr. one day with a bunch of friends and got surprised by the cashier, who was a blonde girl with beautiful blue eyes. Never being the one to hit on anyone, I instinctively went against nature and said I was surprised at how beautiful her eyes were. I wasn't giving her a line, I was actually being honest. Anywho, I ate lunch there almost everyday and whenever I'd go, she'd serve me and we'd chit chat.

Over the course of two months we chit-chatted and flirted. I found out that her birthday was coming up on a certain day so I arranged for a florist to bring her some yellow roses at the time I'd be in there for lunch. So, I went to lunch with a female friend and waited for the florist to walk the roses over(the florist was across the street). Then, I saw the guy walk over, come inside and deliver the roses. The blonde girl was so surprised and flattered. So, I decided to go up and tell her they were from me.

She happily accepted them with this statement: "They're so beautiful! But I'll probably have to hide them from my boyfriend, though..."

Yeah, that's when my heart was crushed. I politely told her she didn't have to keep them, that she could throw them out, but she insisted on keeping them. I went back to my table, told my friend what she said and my friend was pissed. lol

Anywho, word got around to my other pals from work and they were pissed that the girl flirted with me for months and never said she had a boyfriend. Nevertheless, I didn't go back to that Carl's Jr. very much and when I did, I opted to get served by another cashier out of shame. I heard from friends that when they'd go to lunch, she'd ask about me.

I quit the job soon after and never saw her again. A good chunk of my chivalry died that day. lol

Doesn't sound embarassing to me. Sounds more like the loss of something that could have been, especially since she asked about you.

p.s. You're letting your true self show.....a romantic. (we're a dying breed, ya know?)

 

[flavortang]

Doesn't sound embarassing to me. Sounds more like the loss of something that could have been, especially since she asked about you.

p.s. You're letting your true self show.....a romantic. (we're a dying breed, ya know?)

I really lost a lot of that, and it kind of sucks. I'm of the mind that some women like to toy with guys so when they leave open the chance for me to say or do something chivalrous, I don't even pay attention.

The other day, I walked into the post office and made eye contact with a young girl who was carrying an armload of mail. When we got about ten feet apart, the mail fell(or she dropped them) onto the floor. She actually glanced at me, maybe thinking I'd help her pick up the envelopes, but I kept walking.

To me, that's better than some girl giving you an odd look when you try to do something nice, as if you're trying to hit on her.

I told my wife that if we ever got divorced, I wouldn't bother getting into another relationship. lol I don't get you women and I never will.

 

[WRJames]

The second year of graduate school I got a studio apartment in what is now called the Upper West Side (in those days it was referred to as Spanish Harlem). It was on the third floor of a converted brownstone. There were two apartments on each floor, and the other one on my floor was occupied by two wannabe ballerinas. For some reason, nothing romantic ever clicked with them, so when I got married the next year and my wife moved in, there was no problem.

However, soon thereafter, the ballerinas moved out and another young couple moved in. After a couple of days, the guy knocked on the door, and invited us over "to get to know them better." Well, we walked in, and there were the two of them, in their underwear, sitting on their waterbed. They invited us to join them, we had a few minutes of rather tense conversation, and we beat a hasty retreat. But that's not the embarassing part.

A few weeks later, my mother in law came in to see the apartment and to have dinner (prepared by my wife). This was a very special mother-daughter moment, as you can imagine. The apartment was cleaned beyond recognition, my wife was showing off her cooking skills as best should could given the limitations of our kitchen. I should explain that the brownstone had one of those central airshafts, so that you could hear everything that went on in the building. Especially in the apartment on the same floor. So, just as we were sitting down to this elaborate feast, the couple next door got into a terrible argument. "You can fuck anyone you want!" she was screaming. "I don't give a shit! Just leave me alone!"

The three of us sat there, pretending we didn't hear a thing. It went on like that for nearly an hour.