Embarrasing problem

[JasonBe]

I have an embarrassing problem, but because I would like to become a better lover to my g/f I am laying my soul out to the members of Lit.

I am extremely sensitive. All my g/f has to do is touch my cock and its hard as a rock. And then after about 2 minutes of sex I'm coming all over the place and then it goes limp. Wait five minutes and its hard as a rock again, but then I can last for like a half hour or so. My problem is that I can't seem to get past that first initial "2 minute" problem. And I feel bad because I really want her to enjoy the first one as well as the next and however many there might be. And its not like I'm terribly huge or anything (It's the size of a cardboard insert on the inside of a roll of toilet paper - I lost a bet one night that's how I know that) but I'm afraid that if I can't last longer sooner or later she's going to leave me.

What can I do? Anyone who experiences this problem or knows of someone who does please offer suggestions.

Thank you,

JJ

 

[RawHumor]

If it's that bad, you could try jerking off before you start with her. Your second orgasm should take a little longer to build up to.

A condom might help to desensitize you a little bit, and my help you last longer, but only if the problem is physical and not mental/psychological.

 

[CarolineOh]

First of all, tell her about your concern. She will be quite sympathetic and supportive I am sure.

Keep in mind, there is a lot more to making love than just intercourse. Spend the time in between the two erections using your hands and your mouth, all of your body, to pleasure her.

And I agree with Raw Humor that you might try masturbating before hand. Remember the scene in Something About Mary?

 

[CarolineOh]

If it's that bad, you could try jerking off before you start with her. Your second orgasm should take a little longer to build up to.

A condom might help to desensitize you a little bit, and my help you last longer, but only if the problem is physical and not mental/psychological.

I think it is wonderful that when someone needs advice that involves masturbation, we have an expert like you ready and willing to help.

 

[RawHumor]

I think it is wonderful that when someone needs advice that involves masturbation, we have an expert like you ready and willing to help.

Hey, I'm a give, what can I say? And half of my masturbation sessions wouldn't have been possible without the images of you that were in my mind.

 

[superlittlegirl]

The second time is for the slow dance.

When I take a a male lover, I like to get him off quickly the first time so that he has no need for anxiety about his staying power. I believe that a lot of premature ejaculation is really a result of anxiety [/ii] about premature ejaculation. I don't thik there's any need for this anxiety-- in my world, sex is about enjoyment, and the timing of orgasm is relatively unimportant as long as everybody works cooperatively to mutual satisfaction.

Women and men have different timetables for arousal, and it just happens to be convenient for me that getting my lover off arouses me so incredibly that by the time he has recovered, I am dying to have him.

I wish men didn't feel so pressured about performance-- or women either, for that matter. Relaxed, non-goal-oriented sex is almost always the most satisfying to me. It's my policy to just keep going until everyone is happy.
--Freya

 

[RawHumor]

Re: The second time is for the slow dance.

Relaxed, non-goal-oriented sex is almost always the most satisfying to me. It's my policy to just keep going until everyone is happy.

Well-said!

 

[JasonBe]

Thanks everyone for your comments.

Superlittlegirl...its not a performance thing, i'm just not one to have sex and then roll over and fall asleep. I want to make sure that she is satisfied and happy too. If she's happy, then I am too.

As for the other thoughts by the members, thank you. I've tried the jerking off in the bathroom once without much success.

I do other things to please her orally and with fingers and such, I just wish the intercourse act would be a litttle longer.

JJ

 

[Nora]

Has she *said* that it's a problem for her or are you assuming? Personally, I find when a guy um...responds quickly let's say, I find it a matter of personal pride. Not to mention that I find my parter's pleasure to be extremely arousing. *shrugs*

Talk to her, like everyone said. Explain your concern. You might be surprised by what she says.

 

[knightstalker]

Trojen makes a new rubber that has a gel inside it that numbs you for awhile and allows you to last longer...I cannot remember the name but it will be with the rest of them at your local CVs or walgreens or whatever is in your area..I tried these though and as a warning once I went numb and lost the feeling my dick went limp but this may just be me and it might work for others..Of course the masterbation has been brought up so i have no more ideas left to offer..

 

[alexandraaah]

First of all, work on not being embarassed about this, cause it doesn't sound like much of a problem to me.

I think watching a man masturbate is highly erotic, and you could always do that to get things going.

As for your second time...well, doesn't sound like that's an issue at all.

I'd congratulate yourself on getting two great orgasms in each session.

Go you!

 

[fgarvb1]

When i was somewhat younger i had a girlfreind who insisted on giving me a blowjob before we got down to serious fucking.
She claimed that men lasted longer that way. I didn't mind a bit because at that age i didn't lose a hard on when i came unless it was the fifth or six time. I think she liked to give bj's and did not want to admit it.

The point is if she is into oral sex and you are too, get into a sixity-nine position. You may find that concentrating on her will allow you to last awhile longer even getting a blowjob.

Besides, by your own admission your not a single shot. Talk to her and work something out. And then in!

 

[PumpkinSmasher]

Think Baseball.

 

[Ginny]

may i suggest a blowjob as prelude to intercourse...kinda like slg said?

when i was zipping around....doing the promiscuous thang.....especially in my 20's when most of the guys were in their 20's as well.....i'd always go for the cock to suck....first......suck the guy off.....and get myself incredibly wet from sucking and slurping on him.....and by the time we'd get around to actually fucking....there wasn't that penetration then cum thang going on...though i have to tell you.....that's hot, too....just the blasttt.....after a few strokes...so turned on....staying inside.....as you kiss and play.....feeling it stroking the juicy hole as it either stays hard or gets hard again quickly and then you can just fuck...and fuck....changing positions.....fucking....mmmmm just lost in it....


i've always found a guy cumming fast a turn-on....not a problem...i mean as long as he either stayed hard or could get hard again within a reasonable amount of time...as you obviously do, Jason......

mmmmmm have fun....go for the BJ, then tha fuck.......