Embarassing Moments.

[doormouse]

What's the funniest or most embarassing moment you can remember?

For me, I was working at a fresh produce market at the time, and this woman slipped on a lettuce leaf.

I swear, I was in tears laughing. My sister and I could be heard all over the market laughing, I'm sure hehee

Everyone glared at us. IT still makes me cry laughing. ;-)

 

[Belegon]

God, which one?

I'm pretty good at embaressing myself I think.

Ok, how about this. Before I was living with my wife I had a female cousin who was living in town on the Navy base. I had given her a key to my apartment so she could have a place to get away from the base life.

One night I come home from work and hop into the shower, nice and hot, radio blasting. Get out, start drying my hair and walk to the fridge to get a beer, singing a song outside my vocal range way too passionately. I make it to the fridge, get my beer and turn around to walk to the bedroom before I realize that my cousin and a girlfriend have come in while I am in the shower, are sitting in the living room watching me and the only thing I am wearing is a towel on my head.

 

[doormouse]

lmfao!!!!!! (spraying my coffee over the screen here LOL)

 

[Carl East]

I recently wrote a story for the Literotica Olympics thread, and both embarrasing events discribed in that story actually happened to me.

I did catch my foreskin in my zipper, to the degree that you could see skin poking through the closed zip. OUCH lol

And I did come out while making love in my enthusiasm, only I didn't stab a couch, in my case it was the carpet. I bet you've never heard of carpet burns on a man's dick. lol

Carl

 

[doormouse]

OUCH Carl LOL

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Iwent to a friends wedding years back....she was italian and her husband was jewish.
I forgot most of his family was deaf.

Being a smart ass, I turned to my sister and said "You can tell his family is jewish, they're all talking with their hands."

She turned to me and said..."They're using sign language, stupid."

 

[doormouse]

LMAO Abtruse!!

Reminds me of a friend's Mum.

They were new to Australia, fresh out of Germany.
The school had a function where everyone was asked to 'bring a plate'.

She literally brought a plate - empty.
Cracked me up LOL ;-)

 

[seasparks]

Probably it was when I took a girl home from a party.
Her date had long since split with another girl, and she decided to get drunk off her ass.
I, being the nice guy that I am, volunteered to drive her home.
(I was the only sober one left at the party by that point)
When I got to her house and rang the doorbell with her slung over my shoulder,
the door was answered by her dad.
When I went to court the next day for a speeding ticket, the judge was her dad.
I about shit right there.

 

[cloudy]

My husband has to be one of the last, all-around Macho Men, no kidding. (this story's kinda long, but bear with me)...

I came home from work one day (he'd been off), and found the coffee table in the den kinda wobbly, one leg was broken off. Of course, I asked him why....

He didn't want to tell me, so I knew it would be good.

Our den is separated from the kitchen by one of those half walls, a little higher than waist high, and right next to it is the couch. Apparently, he'd been asleep on the couch with one arm up over his head, and it fell asleep - completely numb. When he started to wake up (still drowsy), that arm, when he moved it, fell across his chest. He couldn't feel it, and in his sleepy state thought someone was reaching across that wall to grab him.

So.....he grabs his own arm, that he thinks belongs to an intruder, and jerks, flipping himself off the couch and into the coffee table.

It still cracks me up every time the table wobbles....

 

[doormouse]

LMFAO cloudy!!!!!!!

What a goose ;-)

Shit, I'll be laughing over that one all day hehee

 

[oggbashan]

I was new in a town. The only people I knew were some of my father's friends. One had seven daughters.

I asked one of the seven out. She suggested that she would enjoy going to the local cinema after a quick drink at the local pub.

We were both over 18 so we went to the pub. At her request I brought her a half-pint of commercial cider - all fizz and no alcohol. She finished it and was effectively unconscious.

The Landlord said 'Not again! I wish she wouldn't do that.' She had no tolerance for alcohol at all yet kept trying. The Landlord hadn't seen who I was with otherwise he would have refused to serve me a drink for her.

Half an hour after I had collected her from her house I was back with her slung across my shoulder.

Her Dad said 'Not again! Didn't she warn you?"

She hadn't.

Next time - there was a next time - we went to a Coffee Bar before the cinema.

She married a Brewery Owner and still can't drink.

Og

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

I was new in a town. The only people I knew were some of my father's friends. One had seven daughters.

I asked one of the seven out. She suggested that she would enjoy going to the local cinema after a quick drink at the local pub.

We were both over 18 so we went to the pub. At her request I brought her a half-pint of commercial cider - all fizz and no alcohol. She finished it and was effectively unconscious.

The Landlord said 'Not again! I wish she wouldn't do that.' She had no tolerance for alcohol at all yet kept trying. The Landlord hadn't seen who I was with otherwise he would have refused to serve me a drink for her.

Half an hour after I had collected her from her house I was back with her slung across my shoulder.

Her Dad said 'Not again! Didn't she warn you?"

She hadn't.

Next time - there was a next time - we went to a Coffee Bar before the cinema.

She married a Brewery Owner and still can't drink.

Og

Now that is too funny!!!!!!!!!!! lmao

 

[Teenage Venus]

At her request I brought her a half-pint of commercial cider

Reminds me of my first week in England. I took a bus down town, and being too young at 16 to go pubbing, I got some cider (Devonshire 'scrumpy'), and drank it in the park. I fell asleep and woke up in time to catch the last bus if I ran.

I felt quite rough, and thought I had broken one leg, because as I ran for it, one leg seemed much shorter than the other. (I later realised one was on the sidewalk, the other in the road.)

Just making it to the bus, I felt quite ill, and tried to get upstairs to the top deck to get some fresh air. Following a struggle with the conductor, I found myself sat on my fanny on the road. As it disappeared into the distance, I realised it was a single decker - and I must be drunk. This was confirmed by the police officer who delivered me home.

A week later, I was at my uncle's house, with his son of my age. Mum phoned to ask if I would like to go shopping with her. I told her 'no, I'm learning to give Harry a blow-job.'

When I did get home I was greeted with less than a warm welcome. Only after I had explained that Auntie had shown me how to style Harry's hair, and I was blow-drying it when she called, was I back in her favor.

 

[doormouse]

LOL Teenage Venus!!!!

Loved the blow-job one ;-)