Elf Magic (or I know I am grousing but...)

[Rhys]

Okay I authored the story, and when I look at it I see glaring errors, but at the time that I wrote it, I was in a hurry trying to make the deadline, so I made a fast edit job of it.

Here's what irks me. I ask for feedback, and while that's a wonderful ego massage, I've gotten only two that have addressed problems I've missed.

One commented on my misspelling of breaches (breeches) ok spell corrector missed that one

the other commented that

"how ragged and dirty her clothing were"
should be "how ragged and dirty her clothing was" because clothing is singular.
again, the grammar correcter missed this one. But, read it out loud because "how ragged and dirty her clothing were" sounds better...and I admit its just a fucked up sentence all the way around and if I'd had the time, I would have changed it.

I think the real reason I am miffed right now is that no one to this point has pulled out what I think is the glaring flaw in the story. All I've received is a bunch of picking nits (nitpickers) and that just torques me.

If you've read this far into my rant I thank you for sticking with me.
I guess my question then is, how do I solicit feedback that is viable, instead of "dude, you need to dl a better spellchecker?"

Spelling and grammar are the easiest mistakes to make and therefore the easiest to find...

sigh...

<grumble grumble>> ok whine mode off

 

[Rhys]

here's a link

If anybody hasn't read it and would like to:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=32121

thanks in advance

 

[TheDR4KE]

Here's what irks me. I ask for feedback, and while that's a wonderful ego massage, I've gotten only two that have addressed problems I've missed.

Does that mean you've gotten more feedback, but only two that have been 'helpful' in terms of pointing out problems?

I think the real reason I am miffed right now is that no one to this point has pulled out what I think is the glaring flaw in the story.

The elf at age 19 would not be who she is. They are traditionally thought to age slower.

But that is a miniscule point in what is an excellent story! I really love your approach to it all. It responds to my German upbringing and my pagan years.

I guess my question then is, how do I solicit feedback that is viable, instead of "dude, you need to dl a better spellchecker?"

You've already found it -- post a link to it here where there are more discriminating readers who may give it more in depth thought. Don't worry too much about what you get from the feedback forms from the story itself. Ask for the sort of feedback you're after in the forums.

Is there something specific that you wanted to have critiqued?

Drake

 

[Rhys]

Glaring flaws...

Hi thank you and yes!

My problem with my own story is the early part with Magret. I know this probably could have been condensed to a few sentences but at the time I was writing, ripping that out and rewriting was not an option.

I guess I am just frustrated. And at the moment, I have writers block and its making me cranky.

re: elves...originally she was sixteen, but I knew that wouldn't fly on this board seriously, though...I'll plead artistic license on that one...

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: Glaring flaws...

I guess I am just frustrated. And at the moment, I have writers block and its making me cranky.

I can recommend "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron (at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0874776945/) and "Writing down the bones" by Natalie Goldberg, Judith Guest (at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0877733759 ) for that.

I'll plead artistic license on that one...

LOL

[inspecting the license]
"That seems to be in order. Carry on then."
[handing it back]



Drake