Ego-monster

[TheEarl]

I'm really a confidence writer and the nicer people are to me, the more I write. I have had people being very nice to me about my stories, but I'd prefer to get some more feedback. So if you can spare the time, cast your eyes over these and give me some pointers/constructive criticism/outright lies about how great I am, etc.

Seducing Dawn (celebrity) - http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=43477

Seducing Dawn 2 (celebrity) - http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=44174

One Cup of Coffee (Mind control) - http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=43857

Thank you,

The Earl

 

[Fairytat]

/tosses in her two cents

Well, I happen to like Buffy so I can honestly say I didn't like the first two stories because of who you chose to use as your subjects. On the other hand, you wrote it very well and I can appreciate that. One thing that I noticed in all three of your stories is the fact you have very large paragraphs. You need to learn how to use paragraph breaks --- it happens when you start a new thought --- other then that I really have no quarrels with your writing, though I do wish you had given a bit more dialogue or something before Dub ravished Kelly. A fuckfest is one thing but I wasn't turned on in the least by how fast it happened.

 

[Fairytat]

oh, by the way

it's "confident writer" not "confidence writer"

 

[Impetus]

I only read the cup of Coffee story, so here's my feedback on that.

What I like: Nice sex. I, personally, thought the urgency of the story was a nice turn-on. The sex was pretty hot, It certainly turned me on...

What I disliked: ...though I think it could have been longer. It wasn't quite a fuck-fest. More like a fuck-appeteiser.

Overall: Good, hot sex, just not enough of it.

-I

 

[TheEarl]

Thank you, very much appreciated. One Cup of Coffee was only the second story I ever wrote, so I'm quite pleased that you haven't dismissed it as absolutely terrible.

Fairytat - I was aiming to paraphrase the term "confidence player" which is a football (soccer to Americans) player who plays better as he gets more confident. Is that purely a British term? I've already got quite a bit for using esoteric English slang. If you want, I'm thinking of writing another story using Buffy characters, so if you have any requests...

The Earl