Educational thread: Trans Pronouns

[Etoile]

I've noticed some pronouns getting thrown around in trans-related threads, and I thought it was time for a little explanation. (I'm not posting as mod, just as someone aware of the issue.)

• It's preferable to use the pronoun associated with the destination gender. In most cases that's what a trans person is inside, regardless of the parts they may have been born with. So if somebody is MTF, the word is she. If the person is FTM, the word is he. And so forth!
• A transman is a FTM person. A transwoman is MTF. Again, it's all about the destination gender.
• Intersexuals (sometimes called hermaphrodites) are usually raised as male or female, and will often prefer the pronouns associated with that gender. But some intersexuals and androgynous people don't feel right in either gender. So ask what they want to be called!

I welcome input from our trans posters on this matter.

 

[mellian]

all the MtFs and FtMs transsexuals, transgenders and intersexuals i have met prefer people using the pronouns related to their gender identity.

As for those identifying as neither male or female, prefering to be neutral or etc, then the pronouns for them would be hir (pronounced as here), and s/he (pronounced as zee).

as for me, i am a female, a her, a she, a miss or ma'am. there is no excuse what so ever to identify me as anything else when relating to gender.

if one dares to use the wrong pronouns on me, i will call you on it, no matter who you are and no matter the circumstances.

-mellian

 

[Bitchslapper]

if one dares to use the wrong pronouns on me, i will call you on it, no matter who you are and no matter the circumstances.

Yes, ma'am! Wow, no issues there...

 

[deezire1900]

I am sorry, but I think I am more confused then before.

 

[mellian]

I am sorry, but I think I am more confused then before.

how so?

-mellian

 

[Etoile]

As for those identifying as neither male or female, prefering to be neutral or etc, then the pronouns for them would be hir (pronounced as here), and s/he (pronounced as zee).

Although these are commonly accepted pronouns for those preferring to remain androgynous, they're certainly not the only ones. There are actually a bunch of options for "neuter" pronouns, which is why I suggested asking the person!

 

[madmanmike]

i call it like i see it.

i will call etoile a she because her pic is a woman and she apears to be one on the internet. if someone seems like a he to me thats what i'll type. there is no need to get offensive no one can see you to tell your gender and you shouldnt be offended by it unless your screen name implies your gender such as mine does.

 

[Etoile]

Right, madmanmike! Although I can understand why some people would feel the need to get defensive - they may be facing difficulty being accepted in their offline lives, and feel that mistakes made online are deliberate and cruel. Sometimes they may be, but repeated explanation (as I've seen mellian do) is the best way to get the point across to even these people.

Here's a very apt cartoon from the New Yorker from 1993:
http://www.cartoonbank.com/assets/1/22230_m.gif

 

[Bitchslapper]

Is "hey you...yeah you!" an acceptable form of address?

 

[deezire1900]

I agree with he and she, but not with judging me or being angry with me because i dont realize i am in the incorrect pronoun cyberspace.

 

[JeanetteLv2]

While I've never been improperly addressed at Literotica... kudos to you Etoile for starting the topic.

And I agree with mike. But if the person is corrected upon what pronoun to use and still doesn't then that's downright rude or mean-spirited. (Not saying has happened here to my knowledge... just an if, then).

 

[deezire1900]

agree...

 

[mellian]

And I agree with mike. But if the person is corrected upon what pronoun to use and still doesn't then that's downright rude or mean-spirited. (Not saying has happened here to my knowledge... just an if, then).

had that happening to me several times online, bloody annoying :/

"oh you just have no sense of humour"

-mellian