Editing Technique

[Rattlesnake1775]

So I'm getting a lot of feedback telling me that I need to do a better job of seperating my scenes. I understand that sometimes that is fairly easy with terms such as "later that day," or "several weeks later", using time as a refrence, but that becomes repetitive after a while. Does anybody have any good ideas on this, or any techniques they use?

Thanks!

 

[elsol]

So I'm getting a lot of feedback telling me that I need to do a better job of seperating my scenes. I understand that sometimes that is fairly easy with terms such as "later that day," or "several weeks later", using time as a refrence, but that becomes repetitive after a while. Does anybody have any good ideas on this, or any techniques they use?

Thanks!

Scene 1

-----

Next Scene if a lot of time has passed.

Sincerley,

 

[Weird Harold]

So I'm getting a lot of feedback telling me that I need to do a better job of seperating my scenes. I understand that sometimes that is fairly easy with terms such as "later that day," or "several weeks later", using time as a refrence, but that becomes repetitive after a while. Does anybody have any good ideas on this, or any techniques they use?

Thanks!

It depends on how separated the scenes are. Sometimes it's necessary to explain how much time or space speaparates a scene from the previous, but a simple gap of a few minutes or a shift from one rom to another can often be identified with just an extra paragraph break.


You can also use an ellipsis -- three asterisks on a separate line:

***

to show that "something has been left out," like the move from the bedroom to the kitchen for a snack between rounds.

If the shift is great enough, start a new chapter.

One thing I've noticed about many amateur writers is that they try to control the timing too closely. There is an old thread with a lot of discussion on "how to make a cup of tea" that covers how much detail is needed to describe making a cup of tea -- or any other action.

One of the main points made there is that unless there is some reason to draw out the process like establishing that the character is obsessive about making a perfect cup of tea or like the character using the process to put-off something else, "She went to the kitchen and made some tea" is often al that is necessary for the story.

As an experiment, make a copy of your story and do a global find & replace to change the words 'And,' 'Then,' 'Next,' and 'Finally' into some character that isn't used in your story -- #,@,^ or the like. Read the modified story and you'll find very few places where the word was necessary; in many cases, you won't be able to tell which word was replaced.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Excellent advice from the weird one!

Once in a while, you can insert the time factor into the action, woithout making it the first sentence.

"Mary stood in her kitchen, stirring her coffee. The two weeks since she'd met Brad had been a whirl of sexual satisfaction and emotional flipflops..."
hey, not bad!

 

[Guest]

Excellent advice from the weird one!

Once in a while, you can insert the time factor into the action, woithout making it the first sentence.

"Mary stood in her kitchen, stirring her coffee. The two weeks since she'd met Brad had been a whirl of sexual satisfaction and emotional flipflops..."
hey, not bad!

Mary stood in her kitchen, staring out the bay window. She reflected upon the many years she wasted thinking about Brad when she really wanted to be with Brittney.

*grin*

 

[Stella_Omega]

Mary stood in her kitchen, staring out the bay window. She reflected upon the many years she wasted thinking about Brad when she really wanted to be with Brittney.

*grin*

..it's a very... flexible technique, as we see...

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I use *** centered and on a separate line.

However, I tend to use them only when I ammoving the plot forward a significant amount of time or the focus has shifted fromt one set of characters to another.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

One thing I've noticed about many amateur writers is that they try to control the timing too closely. There is an old thread with a lot of discussion on "how to make a cup of tea" that covers how much detail is needed to describe making a cup of tea -- or any other action.

This is a really good point, not often voiced in threads like these. I recognize it (painfully) in my first submissions here and have realized that my style of writing is such that my fingers are fast enough to keep up with my mind. Thus, if I think it, I write it. Not always a good thing. Learning what is essential to complete storytelling has been the most trying aspect of writing for me. As I include less pertinent details, however, the flow seems to improve and the shift from activity to activity becomes much more natural. I'd love to offer some suggestions, but without seeing an example of your particular problem I'm at a loss.

Good luck.

~lucky

 

[elsol]

This is a really good point, not often voiced in threads like these. I recognize it (painfully) in my first submissions here and have realized that my style of writing is such that my fingers are fast enough to keep up with my mind. Thus, if I think it, I write it. Not always a good thing. Learning what is essential to complete storytelling has been the most trying aspect of writing for me. As I include less pertinent details, however, the flow seems to improve and the shift from activity to activity becomes much more natural. I'd love to offer some suggestions, but without seeing an example of your particular problem I'm at a loss.

Good luck.

~lucky

Look for the word 'now'... it what I call the 'amateur writer's second hand'.

Now she did...

Then...

She smacked him now.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Alex756]

A little less technical than someother advice, my prefered method of determining pace issues, which this does fall under, is to read it out loud. THings that hide to you in written form jump out and screwm what the F were you thinking when you put voice to it.

If it doesn't flow when spoke, it doesn't really flow when written either, well most of the time

~Alex

 

[BlackShanglan]

Excellent advice from the weird one!

Once in a while, you can insert the time factor into the action, woithout making it the first sentence.

"Mary stood in her kitchen, stirring her coffee. The two weeks since she'd met Brad had been a whirl of sexual satisfaction and emotional flipflops..."
hey, not bad!

Five hours later, she was back in the kitchen, exhausted and replete after a lengthy bout of emotional satisfaction and sexual flipflops. "Damn," she thought, waggling the neon orange foam dangling from her left foot. "I need to get me another pair of those."

 

[impressive]

Five hours later, she was back in the kitchen, exhausted and replete after a lengthy bout of emotional satisfaction and sexual flipflops. "Damn," she thought, waggling the neon orange foam dangling from her left foot. "I need to get me another pair of those."

http://www.pursesandpretties.com/catalog/orange%20flower%20flip%20flop.jpg

 

[Boota]

My personal preference is either the *** centered or just an extra linespace. It seems the simplest way to denote the passage of time or a new scene. As long as the separation is an actual new scene it seems to work perfectly. I've seen other authors do it where it really seemed unnecessary and it was confusing as to the chronology of events. As long as the reader doesn't think, "Why the hell did you break there?!" you should be fine.