Editing Sex Scenes

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

So, I’m wondering how other writers deal with the problem of revisiting sex scenes when doing a second draft.

Obviously, the first time I write a sex scene I’m pretty into it. But, when revising it, it doesn’t 'feel' the same. You end up looking at the scene from a more technical perspective, reading in a different mindset, and already familiar with the majority of the action.

Basically, it probably won’t arouse you (as much) on the second read-through. Which begs the question: How do you know it’ll work for the reader if you can’t tell whether it’s working for you?

 

[NotWise]

How do you know it’ll work for the reader if you can’t tell whether it’s working for you?

I can't be sure of what works for the reader, whether it works for me or not. Different strokes for different folks, you know.

When I edit sex scenes I try to simplify, remove mechanics, add emotion, and build energy. Editing is sometimes more exciting than writing the draft.

 

[JanusGoneAwry]

Like NotWise my editing passes look to smooth out things like mechanics and imbue the scene with emotion, zest, and sensuality. I think that word choice is important as well. I look to minimize repetition in close proximity to keep the action snappy and enticing.

While editing I work on pace, in particular, shortening sentences and adding white space to drive the sense of urgency leading up to climax.

In order to do that I feel the need to connect to the scene like I want my readers to. My trick is to let the story perk for a couple days to a week so it feels fresh when I get back to it.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I agree with leaving it a while, especially after the first edit
Editing the first time involves double-checking items of clothing are consistent and underpants are only removed once per person, and that positioning is physically possible if you've gone into the level of detail that includes positions.
Then check the tenses, punctuation, grammar, and whether it's clear who is being referred to with every pronoun (note to self: don't try again to write scenes with 4 of the same sex where two are unnamed - way too much like hard work!)

Once that's done, I need it to incubate so I can read with fresh eyes a week or so later, which is when I adjust the pacing - more detail here, speed it up there, get rid of that cliché, until it feels consistent with the tone of the story. Maybe I'm just adding details for my own amusement, but then that's what the whole story is for.

I try to do a dispassionate proof-read, but if I get distracted by the story that's probably a good sign. Different formatting often helps me focus - so obviously when a story went live today I spotted a typo and one line that should have been italicised for consistency. Not bad in 20k words. One person has favourited it, so mission achieved.

 

[KeithD]

I expand almost all scenes, including sex ones, in the review. In the draft I'm pushing to get through to the end. Each time I review, I tend to add more detail. I don't review more than two or three times, though. I rarely extract anything in the review.

 

[ChloeTzang]

If it doesn’t excite me the second or third or fourth time thru, it’s just not hot enough and I keep working on it. Setting, tension, conflict, mood, emotions, thoughts, sensations, they all feed in until the raw mechanics is a small factor in the overall scene. It’s fun

 

[TadOverdon]

I need to leave sex scenes a while too, sometimes for weeks. If I'm having difficulty getting started writing, I'll often start by revising first drafts of sex scenes in previous chapters. And I give everything another going over during front-to-back revision of a book. I find a certain amount of repetition of phrase and word choice impossible to avoid when every one of a dozen chapters is built around an extended sexual encounter, but I try to minimize it.

I do word searches - how many times are "ecstasy" or "exquisite" allowed in forty thousand words before the character's peak sexual experiences take on too much another-fucking-day-at-the-office quality?

(Ideally, two or fewer "exquisites." Max of three ecstasies, at least one of which should be a variation like "ecstatic.")

Syntax, POV and description tend to be a little jumbled or, at least clumsy, the first time through. There are weird juxtapositions, and as anatomically unlikely as porn can be I still manage to exceed what I can buy as a reader, during my first drafts. But half the battle is usually untangling pronouns.

 

[HeyAll]

Focus on what you can control:

Actions, dialogue, their thoughts, context of what's going on between them, etc...

Compare/contrast it with past works that were successful.

 

[LAHomedog]

Usually the 2nd time through I focus on the experiences, sensations, feelings, and reactions -- both mental and physical -- that the participants are having.

I try to imagine what they are experiencing as human beings. Everybody processes sensations differently. What is this character experiencing and how are they reacting at that moment?

I save story continuity, grammar, and stuff like that for later on.

 

[JeffJared]

Lack of professionalism by moderators

I think if they sent back the first draft by cut and pasting their guideline FAQ is acceptable. However, after a 2nd sent back, it is professional courtesy to at least let the author know which specific part needs rework instead of copying and pasting the same FAQ and making the author guess as if they have psychic power and can read minds.

Complete lack of professionalism on the moderators' part is the last straw for me. This is not the Literotica site I remembered when I first joined. I'm out of this dump. A-D-I-O-S.

 

[KeithD]

I think if they sent back the first draft by cut and pasting their guideline FAQ is acceptable. However, after a 2nd sent back, it is professional courtesy to at least let the author know which specific part needs rework instead of copying and pasting the same FAQ and making the author guess as if they have psychic power and can read minds.

Complete lack of professionalism on the moderators' part is the last straw for me. This is not the Literotica site I remembered when I first joined. I'm out of this dump. A-D-I-O-S.

There is only one submissions editor--the same one who was the sole submissions editor when you joined--Laurel. But, yeah, better communications on nonacceptance would be nice. The high volume and there being only one submissions editor hinders that, but, yes, that's an issue with the site. If you learn where the limits are and stay within them, that issue goes away. It becomes how well one can learn to adapt to reality.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think if they sent back the first draft by cut and pasting their guideline FAQ is acceptable. However, after a 2nd sent back, it is professional courtesy to at least let the author know which specific part needs rework instead of copying and pasting the same FAQ and making the author guess as if they have psychic power and can read minds.

Complete lack of professionalism on the moderators' part is the last straw for me. This is not the Literotica site I remembered when I first joined. I'm out of this dump. A-D-I-O-S.

What has this got to do with the OP's thread? And since when has there been anything other than the generic feedback when a story is rejected? This guy's been here long enough to know how it works, that you don't get personalised feedback.

 

[NotWise]

What has this got to do with the OP's thread? And since when has there been anything other than the generic feedback when a story is rejected? This guy's been here long enough to know how it works, that you don't get personalised feedback.

I suspect it was meant for a different thread.

 

[TadOverdon]

I don't expect the sex to excite me beyond maybe the second revision, unless I wind up adding something significant to the scene. At some point I'm more focused on the prose.

 

[gunhilltrain]

It's hard to say. Sometimes it's best not to give too many details. The way the characters relate to one another, the setting, what they say before and after - the after is quite important! - are all part of the mix. If it's really abrupt sex, the characters may be quite uncomfortable during the aftermath. If they are comfortable with each other, it's going to be much more relaxed. Even a three-some can be tense or relaxed, depending on the circumstances.

 

[TadOverdon]

Really, it's all about Who's On Top?

 

[JanusGoneAwry]

Really, it's all about Who's On Top?

No Who's on first...

 

[SimonDoom]

There's a lot of good advice in this thread. I do a lot of the same things that others have discussed. Or try to. There's always that question whether I'm really doing the things I think I'm doing.

I try to make sure the sex scene has a purpose beyond just the sex -- that it's an emotional experience and I'm sharing and describing how it is being experienced internally by one or more of the characters. The sex scene should resolve some sort of unfulfilled need and break the tension.

I go over the word choices and try to avoid duplication and even pull out a thesaurus to see if I can spice up the vocabulary here and there. In particular, I focus on verbs: I think they are the most important words to focus on. Good verb choices make a big difference for better writing.

I'll focus on setting, and get the senses involved -- sights, sounds, smells, etc.

I pay more attention than I did formerly to the length and pacing of the sex scene. Readers don't like rushed sex scenes. So at the edit stage sometimes I'll add material -- usually along the lines of what I described above: more emotions, more senses, more internal narrative. It can be difficult to add more mechanical description to draw out a scene without just getting repetitive.

 

[SimonDoom]

Really, it's all about Who's On Top?

Unless it's Nonhuman, Erotic Horror, or Sci Fi, in which case it could be What's On Top.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Really, it's all about Who's On Top?

Sometimes side by side works too. That implies lying down, but there is also the version of standing up too. Or even kneeling, perhaps?

 

[KeithD]

It's possible to lead from the bottom.

 

[yowser]

It's possible to lead from the bottom.

Lead from behind?