Easy Trolls

[Madame Pandora]

God I love sarcasm.

More definitions! More I tell you! More!

I will NOT be the only bitch here ;-)

Hey...whisper....WOOF

MP

 

[Guest]

I'm sorry, Laurel. It was crass of me to accuse you of checking IP numbers, I know you would never violate our privacy even though it's within your right since it is, after all, private property. You see, I have a very small penis and nothing going on in my life. My insecurity causes me to lash out at others. I hope you can forgive me for being a total lame-o dickhead. Next time I'll have the balls to post under my real name.

 

[Laurel]

No worries, Troll! I completely accept your apology, and understand your concerns. We are all human, after all. Drop me an email sometime and maybe we can go grab some coffee.

I will NOT be the only bitch here ;-)

heck no.

 

[Whispersecret]

WOOF, backatcha, MP. I seriously love you (not between Thanksgiving and Christmas) you crack the hell out of me.

I don't know who dragonlady is. I think the trolls are people who are more obsessed with what people think of them than I am. I have an unfounded theory that some of the shiny happy people sometimes can't escape their sunshiny roles and lash out anonymously. But, then, I can be pretty cynical.

 

[Madame Pandora]

Whisper...are you inferring that shinny happy people are not perfect?

Come on, Laurel...admit it...you're TEMPTED a lot

I'd look.

Woof

MP

 

[Guest]

Even with my small penis

You would have coffe with me!

GOLLY GEE GOLLY GEE, I"M LOVEED AFTTERR ALLLLL!

I TROLL NNO MOORREEE~!!!

 

[Laurel]

Come on, Laurel...admit it...you're TEMPTED a lot

I'd look.

LOL! I'm tempted sometimes, but it's not as simple as clicking a link and Blammo! there's the culprit. It's a big draining process that I've only done a few times. Manu & I hate that shit. If I wanted to be a fucking playground monitor, I'd have started a day care instead of a porn site.

 

[Laurel]

Re: Even with my small penis

You would have coffe with me!

GOLLY GEE GOLLY GEE, I"M LOVEED AFTTERR ALLLLL!

I TROLL NNO MOORREEE~!!!

I wouldn't call it love...so you would have to keep your small penis in your pants.

 

[Madame Pandora]

ROFL

So you mean you and Manu are not just sitting behind screens of text all day like in the Matrix...with BIG RED flashing lights that trigger when someone troll posts?

Well...where's all the power in this webmistress thingy then?

;-)

MP

 

[Whispersecret]

I'd look too. Even if it took me days, I'd look.

God, I'm so weak! LOL

 

[Laurel]

ROFL

So you mean you and Manu are not just sitting behind screens of text all day like in the Matrix...with BIG RED flashing lights that trigger when someone troll posts?

Well...where's all the power in this webmistress thingy then?

;-)

MP

Fuck if I know. I'm still waiting for the big sacks of cash, the groupies, and the invites to the Oscars. This porno gig isn't the fast & glitzy lifestyle I was promised, I tell ya.

 

[Guest]

slow and easy

Naa don't look Laurel, what would you find? It's a waste of time and it's just more fun when you can flame us trolls back. I come by once and a while to give you a little kiss. "O" but I really want to give you an hour of oral sex Laurel. Just a friendly time of easy bonding. I have always admired you from afar. Opps, now I'm asking for it, after all you are a woman and a good one. But you just might get curious..... a woman thing....
I'm gone now won't be back.

 

[Guest]

So, Laurel, Travolta was talking about flying us in his Concord to Morocco for a bit of brunch, you in?

 

[Laurel]

Re: slow and easy

Naa don't look Laurel, what would you find? It's a waste of time and it's just more fun when you can flame us trolls back. I come by once and a while to give you a little kiss. "O" but I really want to give you an hour of oral sex Laurel. Just a friendly time of easy bonding. I have always admired you from afar. Opps, now I'm asking for it, after all you are a woman and a good one. But you just might get curious..... a woman thing....
I'm gone now won't be back.

Damn, she/he/it left. And I was sooo close to giving in... Just kidding, Manu! Ouch! Let go of my ear....

 

[Laurel]

So, Laurel, Travolta was talking about flying us in his Concord to Morocco for a bit of brunch, you in?

Sure, Bill, but let's take my Concorde this time. The carpet in his smells musty and his wine selection is pretty limited. Damn Scientologists...

 

[Madame Pandora]

So...

Let me get this straight....

No stacks of cash...

No invite to the Oscars...

It's a hassle to play goddess and look shit up....

And you only get hit on by trolls with admittedly small dicks...


Honey...Laurel...we've GOTTA get you another gig. Oh...wait...shit...then were would I post?

Screw it. You're stuck with it.

MP

 

[Laurel]

Ah, I see how you are...using me for my board... *sniff* I thought we had something special, MP. I really did.

 

[Madame Pandora]

Hey...I told you...that was a one time deal, baby...

Now...BACK TO THE COMPUTER WITH YOU!

:::cueing O-E-O chant from Wizard of Oz:::

Don't make me put you in the box with the purple crayons again ;-) Post those stories! Mush!


;-)

MP

 

[Laurel]

Yes, Ma'am!

*hurries off to her cell*

 

[Whispersecret]

You're better off without her, Laurel. Her recipe for pizza requires a fire extinguisher, and she likes PUGH GRANT, God help her. <cackles>

 

[Madame Pandora]

You burn ONE fuckin' frozen pizza and they never forget it....

Laurel, I will have you know that whisper makes a ROTTEN rack of lamb...and her gravy is...well...substandard.

And Hugh Grant rambles in a charming little boy way. And he likes hookers...so what. All growing boys like hookers.

Now stop distracting Laurel ;-P

MP

 

[Whispersecret]

HA! But my lamb CHOPS are magnifique! So there! At least I can walk across the room without falling on my ass.

 

[Madame Pandora]

Laurel, did I mention she's got a rotten temper?

MP

 

[Whispersecret]

Did you know MP is an English auctioneer? She can sell a Maori phallic fetish, a Rennaissance painting, and Elvis' underdwear without drawing breath! Ain't she the neatest?

 

[Madame Pandora]

You know, whisper...

There's room in that box with the purple crayons for you, too.

MP