Early childhood sexual experiences

[bored1]

I was sexualized at an early age, 7/8 years old. I was orientated in my teens towards females. As i look back im beginning to see that many of my attitudes towards sex were formed at a time when i didnt have a clear understanding of what was happening to me, when i had no control. now as an adult i feel the need to control and dominate. anyone else out there with similar experiences?

 

[artful]

Response

Yes! I was sexually active at a very early age,...and have lusted for sexual Dominance all my life. I wonder if there is any connection. A great thread topic,...I am anxious to see if others post,...and what *their* experience has produced.

There may indeed be a male/female difference in how it may have affected them,...and the *conditions* of them being introduced to sexual activity.

 

[Lancecastor]

I wasn't sexualized by anyone; I made my own initial choices in my late teens/early twenties.

My dominance is a natural function of my personality as opposed to my sexuality.

I don't think age is a critical factor.

 

[Cirrus]

I don't think my submissiveness has any connection to anything sexual I was exposed to as a child, but rather how I was treated. I was basically told I couldn't do anything right, everything I said was a lie, I was bad, disgusting, the list goes on.

I'm over it now as an adult, much struggling later, but I think the desire to please and to defer is still there, hence I'm a sub. Only difference is this time it's on MY terms.

 

[TantaLiza]

I have to agree with Cirrus on the circumstances of my childhood. I was always "encouraged" to do everything in my power to make everyone else happy...forget myself. I was made to believe/think that I wasn't worthy. Thus, I've always had the need to please...I didn't know til recently tho that it was called submissive. I look back on my sexual encounters of the past and see where it started way back when...I now know and can go from here towards the pleasures that have been ellusive to me.

Liza

 

[bunny bondage]

my submissivness has always been a part of me, for as long as i can remember. infact, if you look at the "favourite childhood game" post, lots of people mentioned that their bdsm tendancies popped up at very early ages. i wish it was more accepted as something normal so people could do actual studies about it and determine if it's something we're really born with.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I am just who I am. Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary in my childhood.

 

[MasterKensbeany]

I've had many friends who have tried to convince me that my childhood sexual abuse is somehow the "cause" for my submissive nature. Although my first reaction was to negate this theory, I've given it much thought over the years as I've searched for the answer to: "why am I the way I am?" Although I don't discount that the trauma of this abuse effected some aspects of my personality, there are two reasons I don't believe it is the root of my submission.

First, although these men may have dominated me (not difficult to do with a child), they were not what I would perceive as Dominants. The Doms I've had in my life were men I respected and admired for the intelligence, discipline and compassion. They were not sick, twisted perverts, so I see no correlation between my abusers and my Masters.

Second and most telling in my mind is my early relationship with my sister. My sister is a natural dominant and much of our relationship revolved around me deferring to her and trying to please her. There was nothing sexual about it, just a natural power exchange between one who was dominant and one who was submissive. Maybe its genetic, maybe its luck of the draw. I don't actually believe it was enviromental as we were raised in the same enviroment and were treated equally. I've come to believe strongly that being submissive is something I was born with.

Respectfully
beany

 

[artful]

Another few words,...

...to chew on. I doubt anyone would disagree,...if you placed 100 men and 100 women in a room where sex was the intent of all,...one person would probably emerge as the Dominant Leader,...and establish some kind of authority or leadership.

Others might contend for that position,...and they might succeed or fail. Certainly,...at some point one person would posess that role.

Indeed,...their would necessarily develope a *pecking* order,...and all would fall ib place,...grabbing a number as time and circumstances permit.

If they all died off,...one at a time,...starting with the FIRST Dom in authority,...there would be a natural selection of the 2nd,...the 3rd,...and so on.

As people passed on,...the pecking order shifts and changes,...and those that are *most* submissive,...would be the last to die. When the last two people are left in the room,...one will be *more* dominant than the other.

We all know that in this scenario,...each of the last two people,...would necessarily classify themself as submissive.

Food for thought?

 

[bunny bondage]

i think your scenario would involve the control we are sometimes forced to take in everyday life. sometimes, outside of the bedroom, we are all placed in situations where we have to either submit or dominate. sure, how we really are will have an effect on how far we are pushed until we go against our true selves, but it does happen. just a point or two. i'm done now.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Another few words,...

Interesting subject. In my intimate life I need one Dominant to whom I can submit and although I identify as a submissive in a BDSM context, this is ultimately to my Domme alone. I will defer to Dominants somewhat simply because of their title if it seems appropriate, though generally speaking, people are people.

I do find there are individuals who simply feel dominant to me, whether they identify this way in BDSM terms or not, and I will naturally defer to them in some ways. They have my submissive attention. And I am not speaking of people who have some sort of social authority; police, boss, parent, etc. Perhaps it's personality style. Other people will have absolutely no effect on me in this sense. I don't in any way take this to mean that they aren't Dominant, simply not one of those I recognize immediately, and find myself reacting to without thought. It's a bit like "gaydar" (gay radar), I'm not always clear on the what, how and why, but I'm clearly picking up on something.

Then there are others that I naturally take a dominant position with in my life. I find this as comfortable as the above, and I don't consider it a role outside of myself. I would not be the person looking to please and/or defer to those around me as an expression of my basic personality, which is often equated to being submissive. No value judgement either way, just observations. These dynamics may simply be human nature, as a collective, though kinky folks are probably more aware and appreciative of it in thier daily lives. I enjoyed your scenario/hypothesis, Art.