In my endless pursuit of anal stimulation, I have three cautionary tales/tails to offer for your enjoyment. One involved semi-surgical (i.e. hospital) removal of a large apple from my rectum; another also involved semi-surgical (hospital) removal of a full, 16 ounce water bottle. The third was the most dangerous and didn’t require any medical attention but I wouldn’t recommend it.
One day, in a drunken state, I had the urge for anal stimulation and to go for a bicycle ride so I decided to combine the two urges. I removed the seat from my bike and replaced it with a 2 5/16-inch trailer hitch ball. I didn’t have the nerve to ride in public so I rode around my back yard which is about ½ acre, bumpy and sloped downhill. To prevent my neighbors from gawking, I wore a lady’s short skirt which draped over the seat (or would have if the seat had been there). I CAREFULLY and discreetly mounted the ball and pushed off my patio down the hill. Since my bike didn’t have any of the modern shock absorbing technology, the pounding from the bumpy terrain was intense. The sensations of the ball pressing against my prostate as it went up and down inside me was indescribable. It was frightening, painful and also somewhat pleasurable.
The only reason I didn’t injure or kill myself is because I’m very athletic, have very strong legs, have years of experience riding bicycles, dirt bikes and road bikes and because I was too drunk to be afraid. These attributes and skills allowed me to peddle, keep the ball inside me and simultaneously support my weight so the ball didn’t exit through my mouth. I never did it again.
I know someone out there will probably want to try it. DON’T. Without the proper strength and balance you will embarrass yourself; worse, you will hurt yourself. I post this only to titillate, not to challenge. Don’t try this at home. Instead, post your craziest PAST exploits for my enjoyment.
One day, in a drunken state, I had the urge for anal stimulation and to go for a bicycle ride so I decided to combine the two urges. I removed the seat from my bike and replaced it with a 2 5/16-inch trailer hitch ball. I didn’t have the nerve to ride in public so I rode around my back yard which is about ½ acre, bumpy and sloped downhill. To prevent my neighbors from gawking, I wore a lady’s short skirt which draped over the seat (or would have if the seat had been there). I CAREFULLY and discreetly mounted the ball and pushed off my patio down the hill. Since my bike didn’t have any of the modern shock absorbing technology, the pounding from the bumpy terrain was intense. The sensations of the ball pressing against my prostate as it went up and down inside me was indescribable. It was frightening, painful and also somewhat pleasurable.
The only reason I didn’t injure or kill myself is because I’m very athletic, have very strong legs, have years of experience riding bicycles, dirt bikes and road bikes and because I was too drunk to be afraid. These attributes and skills allowed me to peddle, keep the ball inside me and simultaneously support my weight so the ball didn’t exit through my mouth. I never did it again.
I know someone out there will probably want to try it. DON’T. Without the proper strength and balance you will embarrass yourself; worse, you will hurt yourself. I post this only to titillate, not to challenge. Don’t try this at home. Instead, post your craziest PAST exploits for my enjoyment.
Christ, and I thought I was a masochist! 
