Drunken Pick Up Lines

[Dillinger]

I believe we've done bad pick up lines. What about drunken pick up lines?

(I freely admit I stole this concept but I don't know from where! *lol*)

So here we go...

Its the first Friday after payday. You're flush. You head to your favorite bar.

You've managed to spill half your beer down your shirt as you've chugged them. You're singing along to the Willie Nelson Classic "I Gotta Get Drunk"

You've impressed so many women with manly stories from your manly past that they can take no more of it and they spend the rest of the night trying to stay away from you.

Suddenly... SHOOOWEEE MAMA!!! In she walks.. what has to be the hottest babe you've ever seen poured into a tight fitting pair of western jeans. She appears to be all alone.

She walks up to the bar and is standing right next to you as she orders a drink.

Now its time to try out your best pick up lines... but remember, you're drunk and stupid.

"Well RING A DING DANG you sweet yummy thang! Why sit at the bar when you can come over here and sit on a pole!"

(Try and imagine the drunken slur and broken syllables as you read these)

"AWWW the bar's run out of appetizers? Well don't worry, smacker-pants, I can still arrange for you to get a big handful of NUTS!"

"HEY HEY HEY!!! I'd offer you a place to sit but I'm afraid my whiskers might tickle you"

Of course, its at this point you realize that her body-building boyfriend is standing directly behind you with a cue stick in his hands.

Your turn.

 

[StrawberryPez]

Wow is that a mirror in your pocket....'cause i can see myself in your pants.

 

[Private Vasquez]

When you get drunk enough that you start removing your clothes, I'm sure you'll pick up something.

 

[glamorilla]

Just shut up and let's go.

 

[badasschick]

Outdoing the go-go dancer at the bar usually works for me.

 

[Dillinger]

Are you saying that you have to get tanked to out do the go-go dancer?

Then you go home with the drunk at the bar?

*grin*

 

[glamorilla]

Outdoing the go-go dancer at the bar usually works for me.


__________________



I can see that as happening...

another winning one I've gotten at 4 am last call...

"Do you have any drugs"

 

[christianne]

OK this is a visual one: you lick your finger, put it on the guy/girl and say "Why don't you get out of those wet clothes!"

 

[StrawberryPez]

OK this is a visual one: you lick your finger, put it on the guy/girl and say "Why don't you get out of those wet clothes!"

LOL i like that one. I'll have to remember that.

 

[christianne]

Thanks strawberry! I really like your pic. Looks like you got out of those wet clothes!

 

[StrawberryPez]

they don't have to be wet for me to shed them haha

 

[Marxist]

"You smell like beer vomit. No wait, that's me."

 

[chewbacca71]

How about. "If you take me home, I wont throw up on your shoes."

 

[Guest]

 

[glamorilla]

dropping a cigarette then picking it up...slowly...

 

[SpaceToast]

"I love twins. Wait...."

And 30 more reasons why I never get drunk-

-M@

 

[Lost Cause]

A Biker and his girlfriend are sitting at a bar. A guy slithers up next to her and says, "I'd like to turn you upside down..fill your pussy with Tequila..and drink it dry!"
She turns to her boyfriend and says, "Are you gonna let him talk to me like that!?"
The boyfriend replies, "Hell yes, I'm not gonna fuck with anybody that can drink THAT much Tequila!!"

**Drunk line: "Those pants would look great on my bedroom floor!"