Drunk

[trysail]

Oh, hell. Back in "Kolledge Days," the old frat boys used to host an annual grain alcohol party. Since the stuff was illegal in the state, a road trip across the border was required ( where it was legally obtainable ).


In order not to kill the unsuspecting, the untutored, the naive or other innocent bystanders, the brewmeisters diluted the stuff ( somewhat ) with fruit drinks and god-only-knows-what else. Three 50-gallon rubber garbage cans were employed as containers and the resulting noxious ( and lethal ) concoction was ladled out to all comers.


A story ( possibly apocryphal ) circulated for years: one fair young lady was asked if she was enjoying her punch. She smacked her lips, said "it's delicious," and promptly collapsed unconscious on the floor in an advanced state of alcoholic oblivion ( I hasten to add that— behaving as honorable gentlemen— no untoward advantage was taken of the lady's disability ).


For sentiment's sake, I saved one of those infamous bottles and have lugged it around through all the travels of my years. Empty and _ _ years later, its potency remains; a lighted match dropped into the bottle will STILL ignite the residual vapors. The bottle sits beside me as I write; it reads:

Graves
Extra XXX Fine
Grain Alcohol
U.S.P. 190° Proof
This 190° proof Alcohol is especially suitable for medicinal and scientific use, and is of the same high quality as has been applied by us to Physicians, Hospitals and Pharmacists in bottles since 1860.
DISTILLED FROM GRAIN
Bottled by
C.H. Graves Distilling Co., Cambridge, Mass.
​

​

 

[Equinoxe]

So, we just need 261 more posts and 43 more posters. Oh, and 3090 views. At the moment.

 

[scrymettet]

lots of things mess you up if you overdo them.

I know a a girl or two like that

 

[Noor]

I have never been drunk and never will be. I really dislike the taste of alcohol.
I figure that some of the people in my life have been drunk enough for me and a lot of other people.

I can be wild and crazy all by myself without any additives

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Also, when I drink enough, I lose complete control of my facial features. It's very scary.

It's like, when I'm talking my mouth goes too wide or something? My face gets baggy in some places and taut in others. And my eyes go all fuzzy and weird. I don't know how else to explain it other than post a photo taken of drunk me, which I will never ever ever do ever not here or anywhere else for as long as I live because scary as fuck.

http://design-newyork.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/PeeWee-LargeMarge.gif

Y'mean Large Marge...is *ghulp* you?

 

[neci]

i feel like posting in this thread makes me a liar.

 

[pink]

I just can't handle the hangovers anymore. I'm too old.

 

[butters]

As an adolescent and young adult, my philosophy was— more or less— to try everything once ( I drew the line at hard drugs and mindless/dumb law-breaking).

Very rapidly (but not entirely rapidly enough), I discovered that too much alcohol made me stupid. I also discovered that it made me feel like shit the next morning. In later years, I discovered that it dehydrates you and is not real good for your kidneys.

In the Dark Ages of years gone by, in certain prominent Southern colleges, there was a culture that glorified drunken stupidity. In the days of single-sex institutions, the drunken cherchez la femme drives became the stuff of tales and legerdemain. There were too many close calls and near-misses. It was inevitable that Darwin would eventually operate. There were a couple of fatal accidents. Those with "common sense" grew to understand that the behavior was risky and understand that "there, but for the grace of God, go I."​

bonus points for your use of this word; i've not come across it in years and feared it extinct.

 

[kbate]

So, we just need 261 more posts and 43 more posters. Oh, and 3090 views. At the moment.

The only way that is likely to happen is if I make the op a lie, flash skin or simply begin spamming my own thread with irrelevant posts.

 

[PayDay]

The only way that is likely to happen is if I make the op a lie, flash skin or simply begin spamming my own thread with irrelevant posts.

...and the problem is what exactly?

 

[Equinoxe]

The only way that is likely to happen is if I make the op a lie, flash skin or simply begin spamming my own thread with irrelevant posts.

That would be one way. Although spamming your own thread would only take care of the post and views numbers, you'd still need to create a number of alts so that more people overall appeared to be responding to the thread, proving its greater popularity.

Alternatively, you could fill out quite a bit of posts, perhaps even several hundred, by getting one of the standard issue political posters—left or right—to post in it, which should attract one of the standard issue political posters on the other side, just to insult them, which will simultaneously cause the first to retaliate and attract other standard issue political posters—left and right—to back up both posters, thereby driving up the posts, views, and number of people posting in the thread.

At the minor cost of annoying every single other person on the board.

 

[kbate]

Another option would be to make this about race. I could attack whichever idiot it was who claimed that Asians have no tolerance for alcohol.

 

[girlsmiley]

You could pretend to like cock.

 

[kbate]

You could pretend to like cock.

I did that once or twice and those threads died horrid deaths. Seems that I have an anti-penis aura which makes cocks shrivel and hide even as I'm praising them.

 

[PayDay]

I did that once or twice and those threads died horrid deaths. Seems that I have an anti-penis aura which makes cocks shrivel and hide even as I'm praising them.

Really....?

 

[Fata Morgana]

I did that once or twice and those threads died horrid deaths. Seems that I have an anti-penis aura which makes cocks shrivel and hide even as I'm praising them.

I do that with plants.

 

[kbate]

I do that with plants.

I'm so glad my superheroine power anti-aura isn't a tragic one like yours.

 

[Equinoxe]

Another option would be to make this about race. I could attack whichever idiot it was who claimed that Asians have no tolerance for alcohol.

Oh, yes! That's another possibility.

Perhaps we can go meta and greatly increase the posts, views, and number of posters by a discussion of possibilities of how to greatly increase the posts, views, and number of posters.

You could pretend to like cock.

Perish the thought. Any imaginary contest worth winning is not worth winning if one has to sacrifice one's character to do so.

 

[kbate]

You could pretend to like cock.

And besides, I'm already using a totally naked me avatar. I can't imagine why that isn't getting the views.

 

[girlsmiley]

Oh, yes! That's another possibility.

Perhaps we can go meta and greatly increase the posts, views, and number of posters by a discussion of possibilities of how to greatly increase the posts, views, and number of posters.



Perish the thought. Any imaginary contest worth winning is not worth winning if one has to sacrifice one's character to do so.

I will not.

It would be fun seeing them shrivel.

 

[girlsmiley]

And besides, I'm already using a totally naked me avatar. I can't imagine why that isn't getting the views.

You are?

 

[scrymettet]

post kitten pictures
it's contagious and work all the time
or have naked Eve pics, Will work too

 

[kbate]

You are?

<-------- yep.

 

[Equinoxe]

I will not.

It would be fun seeing them shrivel.

Fair enough. As long as it's only for the cruelty.

post kitten pictures
it's contagious and work all the time
or have naked Eve pics, Will work too

Oh, yes, both very viable plans for increasing all three thread popularity factors.

 

[PayDay]

<-------- yep.

It looks like that sexy part right above the va-jj.