Drunk posting

Honey jack shots here. Showing hard and no work tomorrow.
 
Irish coffee kind of night. Chilly with a storm coming in.
 
Well, lovely to see all you beautiful pushes have kept this thread going.

I hereby proclaim the drunk posting now open. (There will be balloons at some point)

Check that. Fuck balloons. That takes effort and breath that could otherwise be used for the indulging of cigars. Which I am smoking, and it is fantastic.

So watched my first anime in years. Like 20 years. Shit is weird yo. I'm not drunk enough to remember why I liked that.

Where was I? Right!

I am currently a little high from making furniture, that's what I do now. Yes I'm that old guy like Mel Gibson in the opening scene of the "patriot" making shit that breaks when you sit on it.


Really not sure what the point is. Scotch is good.

I would further like to proclaim. Proclaim! What a funny word.

I am now to old to be drunk posting. But who give a shit. It's late.
Fucking shit when the hell did 9:30 become late? I'm old I need a drink.
Who's with me. You right bastards? (Said with terrible Scottish accent)

I think I'm going to listen to drop kick Murphy now. Why?
#1 you can't dance to it with out breaking something.
#2 I am graceful like a sloth. Meaning I just grin and look like a moron.

That is all. Back to your regularly scheduled program b
 
But wait there is more.

It's true. Now for the low low price of $2372 you'll receive this valuable gift. Simple send the amount to my paypal.

Damn. I don't have a paypal

Well then for a very limited time you will receive absolutely free the gift of mowing my lawn.
Crap there is a drought. But still I haven't been home in a couple of months so it's overgrown and I'm sure full of snakes.

Seriously, am I the only person on lit drunk posting on a Tuesday? Y'all are lightweights.

But truth be told I'm a light weight.

I have a dog. It has a public name. But at home it is puppy mcshitsthefloor.
 
Look it's a Wednesday. The rest of my week is going to be shit. So yes I'm drinking on this fine night. Plus I just watched the episode that explained Hodor. :(
SO SCOTCH it is.
Also I have already lost my pants.

I wrote a poem about it.
 
What's that? You want to read my poem.
Well.
Who is slightly tipsy me to argue?

Oh pants that covered my nethers. .
Jeans that were thick and shorts light as a feather.
Once upon my bod did you reside.
But now you have gone bye the bye.
The stars are bright and doth shine.
However my focus is on the wind upon my thighs.
My hairy arse now exposed.
Where oh where did my pants go?
To the laundry room I quickly strode.
To no avail did search thus yield.
To the closet?
The bathroom?
Fruitless did my search prove.

Now I sit bye the bye.
Praying my balls don't get a splinter outside.
 
I only had one margarita at dinner sadly. It tasted like another though. If I was feeling good then look out lol

L:rose:
 
In my defense.

Drunken me thinks my poem is brilliant.

Sober me might disagree, but who likes that guy anyway?
 
I only had one margarita at dinner sadly. It tasted like another though. If I was feeling good then look out lol

L:rose:

Ha! Light weight. (Which I can totally say because i've only had one glass, and I'm already writing terrible poetry)
 
It has been at least 5 min since the last response. This clearly means I'm going to post a personal.
Why?

Because I find them hilarious.
And I'm just narsisstic to think that is enough. (At the moment. Some other time I'll be all self reflective and existential)
 
It has been at least 5 min since the last response. This clearly means I'm going to post a personal.
Why?

Because I find them hilarious.
And I'm just narsisstic to think that is enough. (At the moment. Some other time I'll be all self reflective and existential)

Post! Post! Post! Post!

*goes in search... *
 
Peer pressure.

I love it.

Of course ther was the incident with the spatula and a snake. *shudder

You're making that up.

I have a story about an opera singer and a snake and a rat that refused to be eaten.

It's boring, tho.


Oh, there was a hunky male babysitter and a Donny Osmond lunchbox, too.

Still boring.
 
Actually.

There was a colleget fuel evening of goldschlogger where a snake was found and the only implant that made sense after 6 six shots was a spatula.

There is a reason I currently hate snakes.


Donnie osmund lunch box?!!??

I'm a little young but fucking share.
 
Actually.

There was a colleget fuel evening of goldschlogger where a snake was found and the only implant that made sense after 6 six shots was a spatula.

There is a reason I currently hate snakes.


Donnie osmund lunch box?!!??

I'm a little young but fucking share.

Opera singer offloaded the rat to my mother who thought it would make a fanTASTIC pet for me.

I may have been six but no way was I sleeping with my door open with a rat in a cage intended for a rabbit. (Im leaving stuff out, obvs.)

Hunky babysitter caught the rat, put it in my DO lunchbox, ditched them both in the fields. Goodbye Donny! :(

Purple socks rule.
 
Opera singer offloaded the rat to my mother who thought it would make a fanTASTIC pet for me.

I may have been six but no way was I sleeping with my door open with a rat in a cage intended for a rabbit. (Im leaving stuff out, obvs.)

Hunky babysitter caught the rat, put it in my DO lunchbox, ditched them both in the fields. Goodbye Donny! :(

Purple socks rule.

I have honestly never owned purple socks. Perhaps I'm missing something but I've never owned purple socks.

A rat? For a pet? Even in Harry Potter they are terrible.
 
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